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The Lakers and dear ol’ coach Doh-toni are just an absolute mess right now.  And just to make things even more interesting, there are injuries, mystery, intrigue, vets returning, and a scheme to divert water reservoir rights.  With Pau Gasol out for two weeks with a bum groin and a good chance out of L.A. before the trade deadline, this whole team is turning into the end of Chinatown.  “Forget it, Jake.  It’s Chinatown!”  And you really can forget pretty much everyone on this team right now, as three vets returned, two guys got hurt, and it’s turning into a bigger Hollywood disaster than The Adventures of Pluto Nash.  I bet Norbit could play PF for the purple and gold!  Since going through everything that happened for the crumbling Lakers would be an 800-word paragraph, let’s hop out of the open and machine gun through em, plus what else happened last night in the world of fantasy hoops:

Jordan Hill – No Gasol, in the starting line-up, finally about to get that big run we’ve been holding out for, andddddd… Hurt his head and his… cervix?  Is that what a cervical strain is?  I’m no doctor!  Didn’t even get through 4 minutes of game time looks like he’ll miss at least a little time…

Jodie Meeks –  Also got hurt, but in the first 2 minutes of the game.  Brutal injury right when we needed him to establish his role with all the guards coming back.  Tweaked his ankle on a defender and may only be minimal time, but man, rough.

Steve Nash – Speaking of rough, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Nash is the G to own in LA for the medium-term.  Not the short-term because he’s probably getting benched tonight, and not the long-term because the Lakers suck and either will trade him or bench him.  Looked decent in his return for 7/1/9 in 25 minutes.

Kendall Marshall – Knocked down to 21 minutes for 5/3/3.  Could see a nice resurgence tonight with Nash likely benched in the back-to-back, but I think it’s time to move on in 10 and 12ers.

Steve Blake – Dewey from Malcolm and the Middle played 32 minutes in the start at the 2.  Might be the smallest 2 to ever play in the NBA… Well, I guess Nate Robinson technically played some 2… Anyway, 0/5/6/3/0 shooting 0-2 returning from the bad elbow.  Then also ruptured his eardrum!?  I guess the sound of Nick Young bricks can be quite clamorous.  Blake’s elbow is going to be tough to lean on for any 3-point production…  But that said, can help you in deeper leagues with some cheap dimes and steals.  DimeStealNOF!

Wesley Johnson – Fallen out of the main rotation then thrust right back in with Hill hurt and Pau with an ow.  38 minutes for 15/9/1/0/2.  Shot 7-16 leading the Lakers in FGA.  Wait, hold the phone!  Nick Young didn’t lead the Lakers in shots last night?!  Preposteroni, D’Antoni!  Young for 24/2/0/0/0 and 4 TOs tells you all you need to know.  Wesley on the other hand pretty much has to play and will help you across the board, but not jumping at him in 12ers just yet.

Ryan Kelly – Yea, he’s Ryan Kelly.  Shot only 2-11 for 6/2/3.  I’m obviously biased in Chapel Hill blue, but Kelly is the one who blew!  “I’m afraid I just blue myself…”

Manny Harris – Lakers MVP the rest of the season!  20 minutes shooting 8-11 for 19/8/1/1/0.  Seriously though, will get some run in the short-term.  Deep leaguers definitely take note.

Lakers Cs For Now – Robert Sacre and Chris Kaman.  Yuck.  Although I did like Kaman coming into the year, D’Antoni just never gave him a chance.  Eh, nothing really to worry about now though.  Snooze ya lose.

Ronny Turiaf – Finally, players for other teams!  “Wait, Turiaf isn’t on the Lakers anymore!?”  Nope!  22 minutes – in another start for Nikola Pekovic who still doesn’t have a timetable with a bum ankle – for 2/5/0/0/2.  Sure that line is a little scoff-worthy, but he’s becoming a little swat-worthy.  5 last game and 14 in his last 7.  That’s averaging two blocks a game!  Man, I love how good I am at mental math…

Kevin Love – Fell hard in this game.  Glad he didn’t shatter.  Fantasy owners sure held their breath!  Last thing they need is to lose Love right before Valentine’s Day…

Lance Stephenson – Also had a hard fall.  The Pacers are off until Friday so you hopefully won’t miss a single Lance party.

Mike Scott – Love this guy.  Continues to be a role player off the bench but 15/5/2 last night and is crazy consistent given the minutes.  Been a big boost for the real deep leagues (like my REL squad!).

DeMarre Carroll – Was on a tear but slowed down a little last night.  8/3/2/1/0 shooting 3-8, but gets a little bit of a pass since against the NBA’s best D.

D.J. Augustin – Bounced back from a down game Monday for 18/3/2/1/0 with three treys.  You’d like more assists, but I’d also like DJ to be owned in all leagues.

Markieff Morris – Pushed for a rainbow line, but you gotta dish dat rock!  12/5/0/2/2.  Shot only 4-13 and had 5 TOs.  Hey, at least he didn’t shoot like…

Gerald Green – … who went 2-13.  Just so inconsistent.  Or…

Channing Frye – … who shot 2-11 from deep.  Dude, take a dribble or two in, man!  Did have a very nice line of 18/8/1/1/2 though.  He had been fading and as not a Frye guy, this is throwing a wrench in it!

Golden State Warriors – 75 points?!  That’s it?!  Against the BOBCATS?!  Yikes.  Just a bad game, not too worried about your regulars, including David Lee‘s slow game returning from a shoulder.

Kemba Walker – Returned from the ankle sprain for a rough 3-11 shooting game but very nice 7/6/7.  Played 33 minutes and had to leave with a cramp in the 4th.  If he was Leo from The Departed was the trainer, he would’ve ordered Kemba a cranberry juice.  Ramon Sessions – welcome back to the wire.  But hey, gave ya a nice run!

Gerald Henderson – 17/8/6 in a multi-cat effort?!  Go back to only scoring!

 

Next Game:  Got Yahoo highlights for Mike Scott @ the Pelicans.  I mean, Hawks at the Pelicans.  I’m about to link, like, 15 Mike Scott highlights in tomorrow’s recap.  Be sure to set your line-ups on a full slate of games tonight and good luck to your squads!