Party favors are the best. You get a gift for giving a gift. You get a gift for good attendance. I kid. They are gestures of appreciation or gratitude from the hosts for helping them celebrate an event. Doesn’t matter how big or small, how luxurious or crappy, they always put a smile on the face. That’s exactly what Derrick Favors did last night.


That was his second double-dub of the season. Now, did it help that Rudy Gobert got ejected three minutes into the game? Sure. The minutes, shot attempts, and rebound opportunites all ticked up. With that said, he’s been a top 100 player all season, even though he’s been averaging only 22.8 minutes per game. 10.4 points, 7 rebounds, 0.8 steals, and 1.3 blocks are not bad numbers. Like I said, party favors come in all shapes and sizes. This party Favors will put a smile on your face most nights.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Noah Vonleh


If God can trust Noah to safely harbor animals from catastophic flood, surely you can trust Noah for your fantasy team. The #118 player for fantasy, Noah so far has provided 8.4 points, 0.8 threeecolas, 8.1 rebounds, and 1 block per game.

Enes Kanter


Only played 24 minutes because the Knicks got blown out, 100-128. Kanter now has 16 double-dubs on the season, which is good for sixth in the league.

Tim Hardaway Jr.


Led the Knicks in both points and shot attempts. No shock there, as shooters shoot, which THJ is….for better or worse.

Kevin Knox


Played 25 minutes. I’m getting very intrigued. Over the past three games, Knox has averaged 32.5 minutes, 17 points, 6.5 rebounds, 4 assists, 1 steal, and a whopping 15.5 shot attempts. You never know what Coach Fizdale will do with his lineups, but it seems like a wise idea to see if there’s any gold in this Knox.

Damyean Dotson


Played 20 minutes. As I said the other day, he wasn’t going to shoot over 60% from the field and 70% from downtown forever. For you Dotson owners, take solace in knowing that the Celtics are third-best in opponent three-point percentage and that he’s still jacking up shots.

Al Horford


I usually use the Married with Children reference with Horford, but I’m going with the Tortoise and the Hare today. Horford is the tortoise: slow, steady, not sexy, but ends up as the victor at the end of the day. Currently is a top 40 player, which is where he will end up barring injury.

Kyrie Irving


Got out to a blistering start, but the Knicks couldn’t hang, so Kyrie had time to contemplate the physical structure of the universe from the bench.

Marcus Smart


Continues to start. Which is Smart! He won’t score many points or shoot a high percentage, but he will contribute everywhere else. Prior to last night’s game, he had started three games and was the #23 player over that span.

Jaylen Brown


Played 25 minutes off the bench and immediately started making his free throws! No need for Coach Stevens to change it up now.

Terry Rozier


Terry is scary for those outside of the deepest leagues, but he makes for an excellent streamer if injuries strike the Celtics backcourt.


Rudy Gobert got ejected less than three minutes into the game. First, he was called for a foul on the opening tip….not the opening possession. Then, he got called for an offensive foul and smacked something off the scorer’s table. Sue, let’s cut to video footage for reaction from France…


Back to you, Bob. Thanks Sue. Now, for more positive news from the world of sports, the Phoenix Suns scored 9 points in the first quarter last night, after scoring 9 points in the first quarter of their prior game. Per ESPN Stats & Info, the last time a team scored under 10 points in the first quarter in back-to-back games was way back in 1954.

Final score was 86-108. Usually, that calls for a NO BLURBS FOR YOU!!! but I’m a nice guy.

Dragan Bender


Played 25 minutes. That’s how bad it got. Bender had played a total of 43 minutes prior to last night.

Josh Jackson


Mikal Bridges


Only played 23 minutes. I’m not sure how to interpret that. Do the Suns feel he’s too valuable to waste him in a blow out? If so, that’s a positive thing. At the same time, the Suns will likely get blown out in most games so…..

Deandre Ayton


Did not get the start because he told the team he was not feeling well. He did check in three minutes into the game, though. Not Ayton you can do.

De’Anthony Melton


Played 26 minutes and received most of the blowout run. Who knows what the Suns are going to do. Melton has had back-to-back games in which he’s filled the stat sheet and jacked up shots. The Suns are bad, so there will plenty of blowout run. The answer to your question is yes.

Jusuf Nurkic


Only played 23 minutes. The poor shooting? I think Nurkic felt bad for the Suns. Or he bet the under. Or he took the points. More likely, it was due to him laughing so hard at how bad the Suns are.

Damian Lillard


CJ McCollum did not play, so it was Dame’s show. Too bad the Suns are absolutely putrid because Lillard had 20 points at halftime and was in-line for a monster game. So far this season, when McCollum is off the court, Dame has a 51.9 usage rate!! 51.9!!! That’s an increase of 18.8!!!

Jake Layman


Jake was hotter than the sun last night. In Layman’s terms, Jake was freaking amazing. The Suns? Well, it would’ve been a good day for Icarus to fly.

The Jazz smoked the Rockets, 118-91.

Clint Capela


Played 26 minutes. At least he made all his free throws.

Chris Paul


Played 25 minutes. That deductible is going up for sure.

James Harden


Get the man some Viagra.

So ugly. No more blurbs for them!!!

Joe Ingles


What do you expect? It’s Jingles season.

Donovan Mitchell


Was probably too busy responding to all the ladies that were sliding into his DMs.

To recap:

BOS demolished NY, 128-100

POR crushed PHX, 108-86

UTA obliterated HOU, 118-91

As a result, stars did not play their normal allotment of minutes and the scrubs were able to impress the ladies. Was not a good night for the paying customers. Was an excellent night, though, for the parents of the bench players.