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Ah, the fountain of youth. Something Arizona certainly doesn’t have! The retirement haven of America – just ask Tyson Chandler – oddly boasts the most ridiculously young team. Last Thursday, they had a younger starting 5 than all but 1 of the 8 college teams playing in the Sweet Sixteen that night, and not surprisingly, the youngest starting 5 in NBA history. The retirees in Phoenix love to watch em young!

Despite being a god awful team, there still is a lot of promise with the draft picks they made, highlighted by the absolute insanity that Devin Booker dropped 70 points on the Celtics last Friday night. Insanity that he was the youngest player to break 70, that he set a franchise record, OR THAT THE SUNS STILL LOST?! Hah, take your pick.

On that layup there to kick off the GIF, Marcus Smart is like, “meh, whatever, we up 20.” 21-40 FG (4-11 3PTM 24-26 FT) for 70/8/6/3/1 in the craziest line of the year. I mentioned on our last Pod that the Suns are kinda like random number generators right now, so who knows what you’ll get next?! Well, next was 23/4/5/0/1 with 4 TO in a blah encore for Dbook. His shooting arm was tired! He did get another 7-7 FT yesterday though against the Hornets (nice to see the volume staying high), but they yet again lost, and he’s doing this without Eric Bledsoe, instead with a group of similarly young pups. It might vault him to be drafted a little too high for my liking for next year, but maybe he can turn into DeMar DeRozan with 3s. Which hurts the FG%, but I’m all optimism right now! “Never Seen So Many Guys Happy After An L!” huh?! Well, Jae Crowder – aka Party Pooper – it’s the end of March and I’m in super depressed mode after I had 3 of my 4 alive teams lose in semis this week! Why you gotta harsh my buzz!  Here’s what else went down in fantasy basketball action over the weekend:

Nikola Jokic After continuing to be godly with a 30/17/5/1/0 line on Friday, was more jock-itchy for 8/13/2/0/0 on an uncharacteristic 4-14 FG Sunday.  You can’t get too mad, he’s led owners to such green pastures!  Which hopefully doesn’t describe your jock itch region…

Elfrid Payton Move over Westbrook, here’s a better tripdub threat!  Hah, not really, but Elfrid added yet another to his Shelfrid with a 14/11/10 line last game out on Friday.  Pretty snazzy weekend for my mid-round PG I always recommend!

Dennis Schroder Speaking of, The Shrodes had a good weekend despite destroying your TO earlier the week, going 28/7/7/1/1 then 24/3/8/2/0.  Got those steals up to 0.9, I knew he could be a 1.0 guy!  Push!  Push, Dennis, push!

Ricky Rubio – Speaking of times dos, Rubio is ending the year so strong it’s turning into a career-best season.  19/3/15/3/1 then 16/4/4/1/0, shooting a usable-enough 11-24, and 11-11 FT.  Mi amor es un jamon!

Ian Mahinmi/Marcin Gortat – As we watch one of the bigger big man collapses from The Martian (maybe not quite as bad as when Roy Hibbert all the sudden was bad at basketball during that second-half collapse with the Pacers), Mahinmi is picking up some streamable games (16/7/0/4/1 Friday), but then sometimes both are duds if they wanna go small, like Saturday when they beat the Cavs (10/5/1/0/0 for Gortat, 9 minutes of UGGGHHHH for Mahinmi).  Just don’t roster either for the finals.

John Wall – Great call by Dusty, as we got a phenomenal playoff-atmosphere game Saturday night, with Wall going ham for 37/4/11/2/1 on 14-21 shooting.  Cavs might have trouble with the Wiz at this rate!

Dario Saric Blew up on Friday against the Toros, going 32/10/2/1/0, but then shot only 3-15 yesterday against the Pacers on a 9/10/1/0/0 line with 4 TO.  Man, he’s gonna be one the top-5 hardest-to-rank players for next year, with this incredible finish… Questions around how he gels with Simmons and EMBIIIIIIIIIIID though…

Shawn Long – These awful teams are always gonna have fantasy streamers at the end.  NBA season is Long, right Shawn?!  18/7/1/2/0 on Friday, then 15/10/1/1/0 Saturday.  Shot 15-23 from the field in a hot weekend, but was 3-6 FT and the playing time is still pretty low.  Deeper league flier more than a 12er streamer.

Nikola Mirotic – Continuing to be a Hero, not a Zero!  28/8/1/0/0 with 6 treys last night for Miro, as he closes out the season strong.

Jimmy Butler I now hate Buckets.  Directly bounced me from one RCL that I thought I was going to win, with an unbelievable 43 assist week.  3 straight dimebags!  Where in the flipping F did this come from?!  I mean, they don’t have a PG or Dwyane Wade, so I guess it makes sense…  Then on top of that, he scores 109 points on 54.7% shooting.  I hate everything.

DeMarcus Cousins – Another reason I came just short in that loss, Cousins went into last night a game-time call, and the big baby sat with a sore ankle.  I probably shouldn’t rib him for it since I’m still nursing my kankle a little, BUT I AIN’T PLAYING IN MY FANTASY PLAYOFFS ON SUNDAY NIGHT!

James Harden While we fear The Beard, right now we fear the wrist!  Took a hard fall at the end of the win over OKC yesterday, and it sounds like DNPs might be coming.  Apparently he initially hurt it earlier in the week, so maybe he pushes through, but Mike D’Antoni said it’s something Harden will have to manage the rest of the year.  With only a few weeks of the regular season left, might turn into maintenance time…  Ugh.  Stay tuned.

Buddy Hield Nice weekend from Steph Jr., going 22/8/7/2/0 then 15/7/2/1/0 with no TO yesterday.  Somehow the Kings beat the Clippers last night!

Willie Cauley-Stein – Your reason why!

Cleaning up the glass!  Something UK didn’t do last night, GO HEELS!

Jordan Clarkson Man, ups and downs like a pop singer!  5 Pts, 35 Pts, 10 Pts his last 3 games, but at least if you used him Friday, you’re feeling pretty good!  35/2/5 with 8 treys against the Wolves.

Gordon Hayward – Ruh roh.  Another injury to a key guy over the weekend, as he took a shot to the quad and left early on Saturday – questionable for tonight.  Hopefully we can trust the Gordon’s Fisherman will be back!

Mindaugas Kuzminskas – Mind Games Coozie Skis had a nice run the past few games, going 14/8/2/1/0 then 19/1/2 Saturday at the Spurs.  Shot 8-12 that game with 3 treys.  I know Carmelo Anthony is sitting with a sore knee and a shutdown could be inevitable, but I’m not too big on streaming Kuzminskas quite yet.

Willy Hernangomez – I would be streaming Big Willy though!  Although he’s probably owned in most leagues…  24/13/1/1/1 to wrap up the weekend in that Spurs loss, but looked really good!  Just shut down Melo and Rose, and let some youth play!

Taurean Prince Pretty much the only thing to go right all weekend in basketball (other than UNC playing well).  On the Podcast previewing the weekend, I mentioned Prince as a stream and did so in a few RCLs, and he gave you a 17/6/1/3/1 line with 2 treys against the Mess last night.

Andre Roberson – Speaking of wing defenders, Roberson has turned into a streamer’s dream this year!  If you were able to get him for yesterday afternoon’s showdown in the West, you got a nice 8/7/1/4/1 line.  So many stocks!

Trevor Ariza – I bet some leagues came down to Ariza hitting 9-11 FG yesterday and 6 treys.  His line was great – 24/6/6/3/1 – but if his FG% somehow WON you a matchup, that would be some great irony!

Giannis Antetokounmpo Go-go Gadget arms!

34/13/5/2/3 for an epic rainbow Friday, plus the NBA top play and a gnarly pick-6 with that dunk.  “Only” 22/8/4/0/0 yesterday, but I am feeling more and more inclined to be bold and have him #1 next year.  Might be too bold!  I dunno!  I’m still in a little bit of fantasy shell-shock…  I need to huff some KCP, immediately!

 

Well, hopefully your weekend went better than mine.  I love writing about fantasy hoops and think I’m a decent player, so it stings when I lose.  Especially when my favorite league was a slaughter.  More on that this afternoon.  Sheesh.  As they say in Game of Thrones, “baseball is comin’?!”  Hah.  Hopefully you had a better weekend than I, and I’ll cheer up for tomorrow’s notes!  Give me some commenter therapy, Razzball Nation!