After last month’s report that Baron Davis had ballooned to the weight of Guernsey cow was squashed, it seemed like all was right in La-La Land again. Now reports are that, although he’s not quite bovine, Davis is still paunchy, out of shape and Vinny Del Negro ain’t thrilled about it. And while a fat, shapeless beard from Davis would be preferred come October 26, the rest of him would not be. He also has a strained calf and swelling in his knees, probably caused by the swelling of his waistline. The guess-how-heavy-will-Baron-Davis-will-be has become as much of an autumn tradition as packing up the ol’ capri pants for the winter, but expectations are high for the Clips this year (relatively speaking) and the success of the team hinges on Boom-Dizzle (or Eric Bledsoe or Randy Foye) not phoning it in this season. And Vinny Del Negro is not the person whose dog house Davis wants to be in ‘cuz Vinny Del Negro does not care about how much playing time players are expected to have. He will royally screw up playing time if he thinks it will add body and control to his bouffant. The more body and control in bouffant, the fewer Clipper bodies will have fantasy relevance. And you have no control over that.
Here’s what else went down around the league this week:
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Okay, for real now. Here’s what else went down around the league this week:
Al Harrington – Despite the prognosis (a word I’m convinced real doctors don’t actually use) that Kenyon Martin will be out until December and still probably won’t be 100 percent even then (because Kenyon Martin hasn’t been 100 percent since Timberlake had a jheri curl), Harrington will still come off the bench for Denver. We’ll see if that sticks.
Andrew Bynum – He’ll start the season on the inactive list and stay there until late November. They warn you that once you get the Clap, you can never get rid of it. They don’t mention anything about knee injuries.
Corey Maggette – Maggette-O’s ankle injury is going to force him to miss most of the preseason, if not more. I wouldn’t move Carlos Delfino too far up your cheat sheet until further developments, but I’d be lying if I told you this news doesn’t make him more attractive. Maybe that’s just his eyes. No, seriously. Look at his eyes. Don’t act like you’re all uncomfortable about it, just do it. Okay, now you’re being weird.
Troy Murphy – Murphy strained his groin and will be laid low for a week or two. He should be fine for opening day, but strained groins have a way of lingering. Take my groin, for example. That thing was strained every day I was in high school.
Greg Oden – Oden is no longer drinking alcohol, clubbing or eating fast food late at night. Mostly because all those things require movement and he’s scared to death of getting out of bed. Considering he might be out out anywhere between Opening Day and New Years, I don’t blame him. This will be Marcus Camby‘s show early on in the season, and perhaps far beyond that.
Rudy Fernandez – Released a statement that he no longer wants to play in the NBA and hopes he is released so he can go back home and play for Spain. No, this is not an old note, this is a new note of an old theme. Want another old theme? Don’t draft Rudy Fernandez.
Spencer Hawes – He’s the Sixers’ starting center so far this preseason. Clean cup! Move down! Elton Brand moves to PF, Thaddeus Young shifts to SF and Iggy plays the two. All the early preseason praise for Evan Turner is fading away quicker than the Cheshire Cat. That said, I never felt Hawes got a fair shake in Sacramento. Perhaps a starting gig with the Sixers represents the beginning of Hawes’ Philly appease shake.
