The big news from the weekend is that Glen Davis damn near triple-doubled on Sunday against the Raptors. Wait, that was the XXL news from the weekend. Sorry. I keep my news sizes as confusing as movie theater popcorn sizes. Wait, the medium is the smallest size you can order? Why bother using words if their meaning is disregarded? Why not label them with adjectives like ornery sized, melancholy sized and playful sized? I know it’s only a quarter extra for the boisterous, but I can only finish the aloof! Anyway, the most fantasy newsworthy story of the weekend is the health of the Dallas Mavericks. Dirk has missed the last four games and will likely miss 1-2 more before returning. What’s worse, Caron Butler tore a knee tendon and will miss at least two months. I blame myself a bit. Just last Friday I commented on how little Butler had been discussed this season. You know who else hasn’t been talked about much this season? LeBron James. Let’s see if we can’t get this reverse jinx a-working. Anyway, Butler averaged 15/4/1.5 with a three and a steal in 30 mpg. With Rodrigue Beaubois at least another month away from playing, and Shawn Marion already logging in about 28 minutes a contest, there isn’t a direct fantasy plug-in on the Dallas squad that immediately benefits from the injury. DeShawn Stevenson had the game of his life on Sunday, but then again, 21/3/4 counts as the game of a lifetime in DeSteve’s world. Jason Terry and J.J. Barea with both see bumps in minutes, but so far, that hasn’t been a good thing for either of them. The Mavs will become weaker until either Beaubois or Butler return, and at this point, it’s going to be a solid foot race. Until then, look to fill your void with pick-ups like Rudy Fernandez, DeMar DeRozan, Nicolas Batum, Evan Turner and J.R. Smith.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball this weekend:
Darren Collison – DarCo is averaging 20/4.5/6 in his last two games. January Adam and September Adam love Darren Collison and had a nice weekend filled with high-fives and singing. November Adam and December Adam find those guys pretentious and spent their weekend watching PBS and listening to jazz records. Pot, kettle black!
Roy Hibbert – Moved to the bench against the Knicks. This was either to keeps Hibbs out of foul trouble or to rub his nose in shizz at the fact that he lost his job to Indiana she-male Jeff Foster. Bee tee dubya, Foster fouled out of the game and Hibbert still only logged 16 minutes. Trade him if you can, stash him if you want, but don’t drop him. Not yet.
Toney Douglas – 12/4/7 in 29 minutes (the most playing time he’s seen since November 10). He hasn’t had a game this good in a month, so I’d want to see a small string of games like this before I bite, especially if Douglas’ success is dependent upon Raymond Felton’s failure.
Danilo Gallinari – Left in the fourth quarter with a sprained knee. It’s about 50/50 whether the Rooster will crow on Tuesday. Even if he doesn’t, one game is likely all he’ll miss.
Raymond Felton – 14/1/2 with 5 tovs. He’s shot 16-for-48 (.333) in his last three games and only dished out 4.3 assists over that time. Raymond feltoff.
Ronny Turiaf – Six blocks, four in the first quarter. TuriON! Still, I wouldn’t roster him with your team.
Ramon Sessions – 19/7/12 on Sunday and is averaging 18/6 in almost 32 mpg in his last three. RamON! Okay, I’ll stop.
DeAndre Jordan – Seven blocks Friday for Jordan, whose first name is actually Hyland. Then six blocks Sunday for him. Why would he prefer DeAndre (three syllables) to Hyland (two syllables)? If he added an ‘re’ to Hyland, we could call him the Hylandre, which would become Hylander over time, then Highlander, then *poof*, he’d have himself a sweet nickname.
Rajon Rondo – Returned to the C’s after a seven game absence and looked timid (4/1/8 with 5 tovs). I’m torn. It’s good that he’s back, but he played like Jarrett Jack. Aw, snap. I just rhymed. I’m an almost-poet.
Eric Gordon – 3-for-14, 0-for-5 from the arc. And they say it never gets cold in L.A.
Lamar Odom – Ditto. 7/7/2 in 28 minutes.
Gerald Wallace – ‘Gerald and Mauled’ missed five games with a severely bruised ankle. Returned to play the previous two games, re-injured it and is out tonight’s game against Miami. Gerald Henderson will start instead and the Bobcats are hoping Miami won’t know the difference.
Glen Davis – 15/11/8. Almost triple-doubled, unless you consider the fact that he hadn’t had more than four assists in any other game this season, in which case eight assists was a miracle and he was never even close to triple-doubling.
Joey Dorsey – 13/13/2 with two steals as both teams were surprised to see him take the floor Sunday. The Raptors, because they forgot he was on their team and the Celtics because they always get him confused with Joey Graham.
DeMar DeRozan – The sophomore with entirely too much capitalization in his name has averaged 32 ppg in his last two, 24.5 in his last four and 18.7 in his last 10. He’s also shooting over .500 in that span and averaging 1.2 steals per game. He’s available in more than 50 percent of fantasy leagues and so I ask you, why wouldn’t you pick him up?
Patrick Patterson – 5/10/2 in 27 minutes. Only worth mentioning because Brad Miller and Jordan Hill went for a combined 5/5/3 in 37 minutes.
Patrick Mills – In keeping with the Patrick theme or theme du Patrick en français, he dropped 14/2/5 on the Rockets, including five steals and four turnovers as, lately, Andre Miller has looked every bit the 45-year-old man he is.
Nicolas Batum – In keeping with the French theme: 21/2/1 in 36 minutes. He’s had one on-game and one off-game in his last six. Portland’s next game is against Dallas. I just have to give you the information, I don’t have to tell you what to do with it.
Channing Frye – He went from averaging 32+ mpg to 21.7 in his last three. He wasn’t playing all that great before the drop either. Shop him around or dump him for someone less depressing.
Tyreke Evans – Ended with six points on 2-for-12 shooting. Or if you’re a reductionist, 1-for-6 shooting. Or if you’re a percentagist, .167 shooting. Or if you’re a realist, shitshooting.
