I’m not what you would profile as a “PC”, “everyone gets a trophy” type. I’m not a raging “right winger” either, but the “politically correct” epidemic is taking over, and I’m not going to stand for it any longer. Besides, I much prefer “sitting down”. But the “all star” “process” has gotten a little too “concerned” with “inclusiveness”. I believe that you can feel my sarcasm at this point, so to further the snarky quotations would just be douchey of me. And speaking of douchey, the NBA has changed the All-Star weekend to the point where it’s too silly. I propose the following rule changes be reverted to their original order:
1) No props in the slam dunk contest! I don’t care if KIA has just solved the energy crisis, I will riot if a car is again used as a prop! That includes no kids losing their teddy bears, no cupcakes with birthday candles, and no taking selfies through the rim! Acceptable additions: Superman cape, homage to older players by wearing their jerseys, pulling your headband over your eyes, and that’s it!
2) Fans can’t vote in the starters! I get that fans will be involved, but the coach should choose the players starting. Dwane Wade and Kobe Bryant in the starting line up? Hogwash! But we should have known that once Yao Ming got voted in as a starter even though he was injured all season.
3) Keep the player positions intact! Like the Highlander, there can be only one! That is to say, in the starting lineup: one Point Guard, one Shooting Guard, one Small Forward, one Power Forward, and one Centre. I know some will argue that people play multiple positions, and while that can be debated, LeBron James is a SF, not a PF, Chris Bosh is a PF, not a C, Marc Gasol is not a PF, he’s a C!
Whew! Don’t worry, the old man rage is subsiding, I’ll be ok. People like the All-Star weekend, and fantasy GMs like to have all stars on their squad is what I was trying to tie into my fist shaking, somewhat unsuccessfully, I suppose. GMs like having All Stars because it generally means those players are high producers. But some are worth having, and others are worth selling. Take a look what who I think is which:
Pau Gasol PF, C
I talked about this cat being a stud back in the beginning of the season, and I slighted him as a buy, and I took some heat for it. “He won’t keep up the blocks, boards, or stay injury free”, they said. They also told me to get a haircut, but I can’t fault that one. But I like my man crushes caliente, and so I must again recommend the Spaniard. And yes, not trying to make any innuendo here, but I sincerely believe he will keep it up for the remainder of the season. He won’t be cheap, but if you could do a Tyson Chandler (I know, tweaked his ankle, don’t lecture me, I’m illustrating a point) or his contemporary and a piece to get Pau-Pau? I’d sure try!
Lillard should be doing 3-5 because he is a straight larcenist! His steals are ridiculously good this year, to go along with outstanding points, dimes, boards and low turnovers. It’s a good thing he was added as a replacement, as the true crime would have been if he was left off the squad. Lillard might be gettable, as he’s been shooting poorly from 3. If you have a high 3pt guy to trade, like a Kyrie Irving, you just might be able to pick your opposing GM’s pocket. Sorry, that was pushing it.
Anthony Davis PF, C
I know, I know, this is a highly unlikely trade, but I’d give just about anyone up for AD, and he is injured right now, although he should be fine after the all star break. If his fantasy owner is worried about it, I’d gladly give up a Kevin Durant, who’s surging right now, for the overall dopeness that is Anthony Davis.
Kyle Lowry PG
Lowry’s assists have been down lately, and his turnovers are up. Yahoo has him ranked at a despicable 71 over the last 30 days. His fantasy GM saw him tweak his hammy, and while he’s played through it, Kyle hasn’t been his usual self. I smell a buy low opportunity! I fully expect Lowry’s bulldog mentality to pick up his production, and lead his Raptors into the postseason on a strong note. Would a Chris Bosh or Carmelo Anthony get it done? I hope so, for your sake!
Carmelo Anthony SF, PF
Melo is soon to be shut down, I believe, and most would agree with me, I’d wager. If you still own him, get rid of him. This isn’t a sell high opportunity, it’s an abandon ship opportunity. Don’t get greedy, and try to capitalize on his All Star appointment to get fifty cents on the dollar.
Dwyane Wade PG, SG
Wade is injured, and selling an injured guy is never easy. When he has played, he’s been a vision, but that is too far and few for my liking. If you could get a Robert Covington for Wade once he’s back, you will have done unbelievably well at risk aversion, in my opinion.
Jeff Teague PG
I love Teague, I have him in a few of my teams, and that is dandy. But I got him in the mid rounds, at about pick 55-70, and I feel I can turn him into a better piece, it’s a sell high at this point. If I could pull off Teague and a piece for Chris Paul or a Lillard? I’d be ecstatic!
Mentionable Streamers: Gerald Henderson SG, SF, Mitch McGary PF, Jusuf Nurkic, C, and James Johnson SF, PF. Also see if you can tender a deal for Jonas Valanciunas. He has been a beast lately, and everyone is getting down on him for being out of the line up at the end of games. As a fantasy GM, I don’t care when you get your stats, just that you do. Get 4 blocks, sit the last 10 minutes of the 4th, I don’t care!
That’s all for this week, cool cats! May all your shots be nothing but net!