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Sometimes you’re the last guy to the shindig. Sober while everyone’s not, trying to crack topical jokes that stopped being funny some time ago. I know this role very well, gentle reader, very well indeed. Some socialites might argue that I have made a veritable career out of this process, that I take the Borat “very nice, I like” and “not” jokes well past their expiry, or that I’m trying to keep the “wasssssaaaaaaaap” phenomenon alive. It’s the curse of the fella who thinks himself more amusing than he likely is. Which brings me to the trade deadline: of course it falls on a thursday, so I have to wait a week to talk about the busiest deadline ever, right about the time that the trades are receding in every fantasy GM’s mind. Well, prepare yourself for all the trendy topics to be kickstarted once again, fella. I’m giving you the fantasy equivalent of clear pepsi, delivered in some zoomba pants while dancing the macarena, because I am not letting this one go, people. On the plus side, maybe the week will give some perspective on how cats are fitting in, in their new environments. Very likely not, but we can always hope, can’t we? So without further ado…

BUY:

Thaddeus Young SF, PF

Young is a cat I’d like to have for the simple fact that his name is so damn dope, like a smooth-as-ish blues man that gets all the fine ladies. I also feel that he will get play in Brooklyn. Thaddiddy started with only 12 minutes his first game, then followed it with 24, and hopefully this trajectory will continue. He gets crazy steals for a big, and is sometimes used at the 3 spot. In his 2 games as a Net, Young has gone 11.5/4.5/1/1.5/.5, shooting over 52% and half a 3pt. per. Once his minutes cap out at (hopefully) 30 or so, you should expect even more. I do…..NOOOT!!! Actually I do, just wanted to sprinkle in some outdated references.

Isaiah Thomas, PG, SG

The little man is playing very large as of late, and with nobody to really push him in Boston, he will get more consistent minutes. Where’s the BEEF? Oh, here it is: Thomas has averaged in his first two Celtic games a naaaasty 21/3/5/1.5/0 with 3 treys per game. His turnovers are very high at the moment, at 4.5 per game thus far, but it stands to reason that this number will come down when he has a better feel for his teammates in a few games.

Enes Kanter PF, C

Look, Kanter will never be a rim protector, or ever be accused of thievery. Homey don’t play dat. But if you need boards, shooting percentage, or points, his production has been very nice thus far in OKC. I know, I know, Kevin Durant has been sidelined, and Kanter may have been getting inflated minutes, but he shouldn’t cost you any more than a late middle round talent. He’s definitely better on this squad than his last.

Goran Dragic PG, SG

Man, Dragic must be thankful for the sea air, getting out of the heat of the desert. But it’s a dryyyy heat, they always say in Arizona. I actually have no idea what they say there, but if they did, I picture it being said in a nasally voice. I get that the Suns really had little choice in moving Dragic, he made it clear he was about to drop the mic in Phoenix, so whaddya gonna do? What Goran is gonna do is drive-and-kick to his hearts content in South Beach, and you should try to hitch your wagon to this Slovenian blur.

Reggie Jackson PG, SG

Ok, you may have missed the window on R Jax, but like I said, I only get to talk trade guys 7 days later. Whomever owns him will likely not part with him cheaply. But I love this kid’s game, he is a relentless driver to the hoop, and clearly is a competitor. Perhaps you have a big that you can dangle for Jackson, or something along that line. I certainly would kick the tires, and soon, as I expect him to continue to drive his value up. In Jackson’s last game he flirted with a trip dub, going 22/8/9/0/1 with a trey and only 2 turnovers. Yeesh. Reggie apparently likes outdated references as well, as he was doing his best “you can’t touch this” hammer impression on the court.

Michael Carter-Williams PG

He’s playing under one of the best points guards to have ever played the game in Coach Kidd. Also, Kidd was a crappy shooter for several years, and managed to elevate that aspect of his game, and hopefully he can help MCW to do so as well. I know, that won’t likely happen in this year, but Carter-Williams should improve in his defensive stats at the very least in a much tighter defensive team format, and hopefully reduce his turnover rate. He has yet to play, so maybe you can get him for a discount on the speculative tip.

Isaiah Canaan PG

He’s only owned at 30% thus far in leagues. He’s the starting point in Philly, for whatever that’s worth. He will get 3’s, a lot of them. I don’t know what else to say, other than if you need a streamer for treys and the odd dime, you could do worse. Not much, worse is out there. His minutes are why I listed him, he’s getting 30 a night thus far, and has a green light to shoot, obviously. Do with that what you will.

SELL:

Brandon Knight PG

The Suns were up against the wall with Dragic telling them to move him, but I still feel they could have done better. They shipped 4 point guards out (including the Lakers first round pick) for Brandon Knight Marcus Thornton and 2 lower picks, essentially. And Knight has been pretty poor thus far. Even if he improves, I think we can all agree that Knight was sold at his absolute highest value, and could very likely fall from grace, so to speak, and play at a lower level than he was playing in Milwaukee. Just my two cents, but I would look to move him before it gets worse.

K.J. McDaniels SG, SF

I doubt many of you have KJ on your squad anymore, I’m just putting him in here to say: What in the hell are they doing in Philly??? They gave up on two promising talents to get even younger? I just don’t get it at all. Another top 3 pick, where 2 out of the top three on mock boards are bigs, the only area Philly is overloaded in? Don’t worry, we’ll just take on JaVale McGee for no reason at all. Bah!! I bite my thumb at you, 76ers! You should feel shame.

 

That’s all I have for now, good readers. May all your shots be nothing but net.