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Many cat lovers don’t just have one cat. I don’t understand it but if it’s akin to the Lay’s commercials of “Betcha can’t eat just one!” then I get it. I’ve seen the shows with the lonely woman who dies and has dozens of cats feasting on her festering corpse. Yuck. Having so many cats would seem to be a big f’ing problem. First of all, the more cats, the more food that is needed. Cliques and territory. More cats would bring prison rules to the landscape. I’ve seen cats fight. They go so illmatic that Nas would be motivated to start sampling the fracas. Poo and pee. The literal shit would be everywhere because, unless you had a kitty litter for all, there’s no way cats would patiently wait in a line like at an NBA arena. If given enough time, I’m sure I could come up with many more reasons why having many cats would be an issue but I got things to do, people to see, and blurbs to write. Which brings me to Karl-Anthony Towns. The KAT of the NBA. Normally, I trash KAT a bit because KAT doesn’t seem to have that dog in him. I’ve always acknowledged KAT’s fantasy greatness though because KAT has few weaknesses and provides a solid base to build a team around. But the time with Jimmy Butler exposed some things about KAT that brought doubts to KAT’s ability to lead a team to the championship. Last night, all of that was shoved into the drawer for at least one night because we had not one KAT, not two KATs….We need some Dr. Seuss in the house because we had 60 KATs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

That song always gets me amped for some reason. I went to school out in New York and lived/worked out there for many years, so I used to hear that song all the time. Didn’t matter what borough I’d walk through. There would always be a Puerto Rican blasting that while cruising in his ride. Ok, maybe not in Manhattan but everywhere else! As that song brought back nostalgic vibes, so did the return of one Victor Oladipo. Oladipo Ho! Oladipo Ho! Oladipo Ho! He last played in April of 2021 and finally made his season debut on Monday.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
11 1 4 0 0 1 2/3 4/7 1/2

Only played 15 minutes as that was the cap mentioned before the game. He wasn’t as explosive as before, but the shot looked smooth, he was navigating pick and roll action, and he was able to get by defenders and finish at the rim. Back in 2017, he finished as the 11th overall player on a per-game basis! He averaged 34 minutes, 23.1 points, 2.1 tres, 5.2 boards, 4.3 dimes, 2.4 steals, and 0.8 blocks while shooting 47% from the field and 79% from the line. Dayam! He’s obviously not going to replicate that this season but he could eventually play around 20 minutes and be a contributor. Man, this Heat team could be scary. I actually put them at #1 in a power rankings I did a few weeks ago. The team is already top 10 in both offensive and defensive efficiency. If Oladipo can get healthy and be a significant contributor, the Heat get that much scarier because he’s another plus defender who can get his own shot on the offensive end.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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What kind of person are you? Would you want an investment that went up or down 25% on any given day or one that increased 3% all the time? If you lit a fire to keep warm while stranded in the mountains, would you want the flame to burst up four feet in the air, providing tremendous warmth for 15 minutes but then it shut off for five minutes? Or a steady flame that didn’t keep you quite as warm but stayed on all the time? The upside is always alluring but sometimes slow and steady wins the race, and no player exemplifies that more than Jalen Brunson. He’s been in the top 70 to 90 range for the entire season. Last night was just another one of his solid, yet unspectacular performances:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For the first two seasons of Morant’s career, he finished as the 133rd and 201st player on a per-game basis for fantasy. The athleticism shined early and his ability to score was evident. He could board and dish out dimes with the best of them but, but, but….Did I stuffer mother f-er? The defensive stats weren’t bountiful, the tres didn’t rain down from the heavens, and the free-throw shooting was meh at 75-ish percent. At only 22 years old, I thought there would be improvement in Year Three but, as Caine from Menace II Society said, “I never thought he’d come back like this.” I’m such a stupid, stupid man as he would fall, then fall, then fall some more in drafts, but I’d pass, even though dimes are a precious resource and he was going to improve. Well, he’s not only improved, he’s broken out! And last night was just another leg on the victory tour.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Every Saturday, I will update the below Google sheet. It will show the upcoming schedule for all teams with color-coding for pace rankings. RED = slowest. YELLOW = middle of the pack. GREEN = fastest. Pace is the number of possessions a team has per game. More possessions increase the chances of more fantasy goodies. The data I use for pace, which is year-to-date, is from ESPN. I also want to give a shoutout to Hashtag Basketball, as their schedule grid is fantastic and allowed me to save time by not having to look at each team’s schedule. Good luck!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I think of brown, my stomach rumbles. It’s possible that’s a byproduct of releasing more than a few sacrifices to the porcelain god earlier today. But when I get my head out of the gutter, there’s Charlie Brown, Larry Brown, Foxy Brown, Bobby Brown, Jim Brown, Dan Brown, and James Brown. I feel goooooood!!!! We are going to have to add another Brown to the list as Bruce Brown delivered so many goodies on Monday night that Jeff Bezos rushed out of the rave and had his analysts run a statistically analysis.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After months of traversing the seas and facing the wrath of Poseiden, we have finally made it to the new world. It is a beautiful place and I hope to bring you back here with me when all is safe. The trees. The flowers. The fertile plains bordering the myriad of streams. It is so plush here. We did encounter the natives and, while they speak a strange dialect, we were able to bond over the wacky tabacky. Till next time.

Love,

Son

P.S. – I miss you.

I’ve always had an issue with the postscript. Why is it even a thing? If it was so important, put what was in the P.S. into the body of the message. Hmmm, well back in the day, they didn’t have White Out or Microsoft Word. Fine, I get it in that context. But now we do! Let’s be better humans and eradicate things that are unnecessary. Who’s with me? Do you know what P. S. I’m aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight with? Pascal Siakam. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?