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My first introduction to hip hip was The D.O.C. Then came N.W.A., 2Pac, Too Short, and Cypress Hill. I was strictly Westside. I then moved out to the east coast for college, which is when the Notorious B.I.G, Nas, Mobb Deep, KRS-One, Wu-Tang, and Tribe Called Quest all started making noise. It was a glorious time. In addition, I was exposed to the Beastie Boys, De La Soul, and the OGs like Grandmaster Flash and Run D.M.C. West coast boy and east coast music melded together beautifully, even with all that stupid drama back then. Anyways, the world was all about West Coast vs East Coast, but then Andre 3000 came onto the scene with his southern funk and swag. It was fantabulous. I always admired Andre 3000 because he adapted, changed, and was diverse, as he was not just a music star, but became an actor and fashion entrepreneur. That’s how I think about Andre Drummond. When he started get full run in the NBA, he was a straight beast. Accumulating double-dubs (points and rebounds) and provding those D stats. But the free throw shooting was worse than atrocious and dimes? Fuhgeddaboudit. He improved in both categories, though, last season. Upping his free throw shooting to 60%, after languishing in the 38% range, and the assist number vaulted up to 3, after being around the 1 mark. Outlier? Possibly, but at least he’s shown that it’s within the range of outcomes. As for last night…..

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
26 22 0 0 1 5 0 11/17 4/6

Andre 2622.

Beep….Boop….Bop. By the way, the Stocktonator loved him last night, as it had Dre as the fifth best play on the slate.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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When people visit Los Angeles, they often go to the intersection of Hollywood and Vine. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is centered on the intersection and it has a rich history in the entertainment industry. And entertainment is what Zach LaVine has been delivering for the hoops world and has many, especially our own Brent, clammoring that he is in fact an All-Star. I wonder which poster of LaVine that Brent is jerking off to right now.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 4 5 0 0 3 1/5 10/22 11/12

That now makes four straight games scoring at least 30 points. Before we put him in the Hall of Fame, he doesn’t even appear on the page when I query streaks with at least 30 points. For you inquiring minds, the leader is Kobe Bryant with 16 straight games back in 2003. As for the query itself, it stopped at 5 games. So, one more Zach and you’re on. Anyways, there’s no denying that Zach looks explosive and far removed from his knee injury. With that said, he’s shooting 62% from the field and 45% from downtown. His career rates are 44% and 37% respectively. The efficiency is going to come down. It’s just a matter of how much. Around 3 boards and 3 dimes are nice, but he doesn’t contribute much in the D department, so when the efficiency comes down, it’s….well, imagine you’re walking and you come to a ledge. It’s pitch black so you drop a coin down to see how low it goes. You drop it and you listen. And listen. And listen.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For those who are new here, welcome and know that I often clown Blake Griffin. Not because he can jump over cars and triple-dub on any night. That would be stupid. I make fun of him because he rarely brings the D, which could be a reason he is no longer with Kendall Jenner. I kid. For a man of his height and athleticism, he should be blocking more than 0.5 shots a game. Hence, the reason I call him Ricky Lake Griffin. He doesn’t deserve that B. I had so much fun comparing the block number to Serge Ibaka’s assist number last season. If that was a drinking game, no one would get drunk. But it is I who dons the clown suit today. Actually, I’m the one who should be donning the clown suit everyday, but let’s not completely crush my self worth. Anyways, Blake Griffin was absolutely fantastic last night. He was so good that….what’s that sound I hear?

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
50 14 6 0 1 1 5/10 20/35 5/11

A freaking 50-burger and, more importantly, 1 block! 35 shot attempts and only 1 turnover! AND he led his team to a 133-132 victory over the 76ers in overtime. You da man, Blake! You da man.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Entering last night’s game, Giannis Antetokounmpo was 131st on Yahoo rankings, mainly due to the high turnovers, low free throw percentage, and lack of threeecolas. Well, Giannis said F U to all the rankings and went HAM last night:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 15 4 0 2 3 1/3 13/29 4/6

Granted, it was the Knicks but I don’t see many teams being able to slow him down, especially in this Budenholzer offense. He’s averaging a ridonkulous 16.5 rebounds, 25.5 points, 6.4 assists, 1 block, and 1 steal so far. The usage rates for each game have been 41, 38, and 37! The lack of threeecolas have always been an issue, and I don’t see that improving too much this year. The poor free throw shooting should improve, as he’s a career 74% from the charity stripe, and the turnovers should abate by a huge margin. Currently, he’s at 7 per game, while his career rate is 2.5. Ain’t nothing but a G thang, baby! G will be that top 10 player you drafted sooner rather than later.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Before we embark upon a new endeavor, we often count one…two…three…then go! For the rookie down in Hotlanta, the start to this new season has gone uno…dos…Trae Young is here!

GM PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
1 14 6 5 0 0 4 1/5 5/14 3/4
2 20 2 9 1 1 3 4/9 7/18 2/3
3 35 2 11 1 0 1 6/14 13/23 3/3

Young has improved each game in points, assists, turnovers, threeecolas, and field goals. Maybe it’s a case of “Third time is a charm,” but I’m more inclined to believe that it was a case of warming up the engine. You know who’s with me? The Stocktonator, as it liked him yesterday. Beep. Boop. Bop. There’s a reason he was the overall #5 pick in the NBA Draft and has been compared to Stephen Curry. Now, yesterday was likely a ceiling game and there will be plenty of ups and downs, but oh what a ceiling it is. Played 38 minutes and led his team to a 22 point victory over the Cavs. Make it rain, Trae.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m not one to boast or present fluff pieces, so when I provide a recommendation, EF Hutton is in the house. Now, a good buddy of mine told me to come check out a new restaurant he opened up. No joke. Indubitubly the best place in town. Was it the food? It was aiight. Then what? You know when people rave about the ambiance of an establishment? Well, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve gone to The Place. As you walk from the parking lot towards the building, there are hundreds of cameras and sensors that scan your body and connect with your literal and virtual mind. This process takes about 5 seconds, so that by the time you reach the curb, The Place knows what you’re craving and digitally alters the environment to fit each individual customer. In my case, the golden arches appeared. Chicken nuggets? French fries? Sausage McMuffin with egg? Negative. The Place knew I was in search of a cheap shooting guard for my DFS lineups. Supersize it The Place asked? Indubitably. A machine printed out a small piece of paper, like the ones you see inside a fortune cookie. On it was written: Rodney McGruder.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
20 8 6 0 1 2 3/7 7/12 3/3

Mind blown.

McGruder is 27 years old and has been in the league for three years. He’s played a total of 97 games, and the 20 points scored were a career high. Last night, he did get the start and played 34 minutes. Now, Wayne Ellington and Justise Winslow did not play due to injury, but McGruder has the trust of coach Spoelstra and will play when there are injuries on the wing.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Latin, Anno Domini means “in the year of the Lord.” Any coincidence that Anthony Davis is the fantasy lord? I think not. AD was the consensus overall number one pick coming into the season, and for good reason. He hammer times and moon walks over the competition by literally doing everything. For the infidels who blasphemously inserted another player on the throne, take a look at last nights line and ponder your unfulfilling existence.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
32 16 8 3 3 1 0 13/21 6/7

This wasn’t no “Devin Booker score 70 points in a double digit loss” line. This was a “let’s beatdown the Houston Rockets by 19 points” line. Bend the knee.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Superman was born on the planet Krypton, a fictional planet far removed from our consciousness. Ben Simmons was born in Australia, also a place far removed from our consciousness. Superman landed in America. Ben Simmons played high school ball in Florida and college ball in Louisiana. Superman can fly, has superhuman strength and speed, and possesses x-ray vision. Ben Simmons can dunk, is 6′ 10″ tall and can go coast-to-coast in less than 5 dribbles, and delivers passes as if he has eyes in the back of his head. Superman does have a weakness though: kryptonite. Ben Simmons also has a weakness: outside shot. The evidence is compelling, counselor. Ben Simmons is indeed Superman. Don’t believe me?

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
19 15 8 4 2 3 0 7/14 5/11

Who does that? Seriously, if/when he learns how to shoot, Simmons may break the game of fantasy basketball.

Here’s what else I saw last night, in the glorious return of the game that we all love and adore:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I enjoy playing poker. Am I good at it? After 30 minutes, I’m still looking for the sucker. Anyways, a common scenario I often see play out is this. Player, which is sometimes me, pushes all the chips into the middle of the table and says, “All you can eat, baby!” Either the chip stack get bigger or said player takes the walk of shame to the ATM. That’s what I thought about the Raptors offseason. They are either making it to the Finals or taking that rebuilding walk of shame. Respect.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I love videogames and have played them ever since I was a little kid. Most games have some sort of level up feature. Win enough battles and collect points or currency to buy new gear or powers. The more items you accumulate, the stronger your character gets until you’re able to beat the Big Bad Boss. The thing is, this Process take time. The 76ers, after years of executing the Hinkie Manifesto, are now in beat the Big Bad Boss territory.

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I live in LA, so rain is not a common occurence. According to the Google machine, LA averages 36 days of year with measurable precipitation. Last night, though, we experienced thunder and lightning. That’s akin to most people seeing Haley’s Comet. The way lightning lights up the sky is kind of cool. Just don’t think about the 300 kilovolts it delivers when it touches the Earth. Thunder by itself is scary, as it rumbles, stumbles, and bumbles. In unison with lightning? A smorgsabord of emotions that make the most diesel of men shiver and quiver. That is your Oklahoma City Thunder. Russell Westbrook and Paul George are amazing basketball players individually, but when the two combine forces….Thunderstruck.

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I’ve always been fascinated by pelicans. They have to be the most versatile, yet DGAF bird predators out there. Not only do they have a long beak, but a large pouch to go with it. That allows them to eat a variety of foods: fish, birds, and invertebrates. It also allows them to hunt food shotgun-style, as they can scoop up water and eat whatever happens to be in there. As for DGAFing, pelicans have no teeth, so there is no chewing. Instead, they let their prey settle in their pouch until they shimmy down their throats….alive! The same can be said for the basketball version of the Pelicans, as they can attack an opponent in a variety of ways and will push the pace and ball down the other team’s throat DGAF-style.

Please, blog, may I have some more?