I no longer drink or partake in the drugs, but I used to. The number of benders I went on were so numerous that they all blended into one big bender. Most of the time, they were enjoyable experiences. Or at least I thought they were. I’d party or play video games or do whatever silly things my friends and I would conjure up. But….bender’s are usually undertaken to escape the realities of life. As a result, the short-term high is usually replaced with the low of wanting to go on a bender in the first place. Which brings me to Dragan Bender of the Phoenix Suns. Last night, he played a team-high 39 minutes and went:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 20 6 4 1 3 2 6/8 7/9 0

Now, Marquese Chriss left last night’s game in the second quarter, so Bender was the guy to replace him. Before we start ejaculating all over the table, let’s keep in mind that Bender is a career 36% shooter from the field and has a career line of 4.4 points, 2.7 boards, 0.8 assists, 0.2 steals, and 0.5 blocks. With that said, Chriss could be out for an extended period of time and Bender could be the primary beneficiary. So, what kind of Bender are we getting? As a 7′ 1″ 225 pound player, he does shoot the three-ball well (36% on the season so far). And he’s only 20 years old, playing in his second year in the league. There’s obvious potential. With that said, I have a feeling that the experience of owning Bender will be similar to the one of owning Chriss, but without the massive upside. Bender may literally induce his owners to go on a bender.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A little over a week ago, I had DeMar DeRozan as the lede, which you can conveniently read HERE. I got no shame in my game for clickbait. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I try not to write about the same players, but sometimes it’s an inevitability. Especially on a four game slate. Now, last week DeRozan scored 45 points and went 6-of-9 from downtown. Due to the three-point shooting prowess, I labeled DeRozan Triple D and proceeded to do what any normal human being would do….Google it. To my surprise, I did not see big breasteses, but instead saw links for a Jamaican restaurant and Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. At the time, I was kind of disappointed, but like with most things in life, it takes time for things to come together. Last night against the Bucks, Triple D dropped a 50-burger. Nom nom nom. Guy Fieri was so impressed that he got DeRozan’s face tattoed onto his forehead.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 52 5 8 1 1 2 5/9 17/29 13/13

I still don’t think the shot from downtown is a staple in DeRozan’s game just yet. Including the two nine-shot attempt games, DDD is only averaging 2.9 a game. Let me take away one of those D’s. Granted, that number is well above his career 1.5 mark, but he did have a season back in 2013 when you attempted 2.7 threes a game. Currently, DD is a top 40 player for fantasy. If he can incorporate that three-point shot into his arsenal on a consistent basis, it’s going to open up the rest of his game and have him shooting up the rankings. 52 and 45 points scored the last two games he’s attempted nine downtowners. Seems like a logical path to take.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First things first. Happy New Year to everyone! For myself, long gone are the days of trying to time orgasms with my wife at the stroke of midnight. Now, the orgasm comes from getting the kids to sleep. There’s no mess or slipping one by the goalie! Anyways, I hope you all had a good holiday season and are ready to usher in 2018. Wishing you all prosperity for the new year. With all that said, let’s get it on!

I flew to the Wrong Coast for the holidays. To this day, it still boggles my mind that we are able to fly in the air. Keep in mind, that I still can’t fully comprehend how a bunch of 0’s and 1’s allow me to do what I’m doing right now. So, flying to outer space? Fugget about it. I even watched a ton of Robotech as a kid and still….As a result, whenever I hear or read about the Apollo 13 mission, my brain pretty much explodes. A spacecraft was launched back in 1970! To fly to the moon! But a few days after launch, there was an explosion that crippled the craft, which prompted the “Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” Only by channeling their inner MacGyver, were the crew and craft able to return safely to Earth. James Harden of the Houston Rockets boggles my mind. He mesmerizes defenders with his dribble like what snakes do with their prey, and always gets them to reach so he can blow by them. His step back J allows him to get his shot up over any defender. Last night in a double overtime game against the Lakers, Harden went:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
40 2 11 2 2 1 3/8 10/20 17/21
Mind boggled. But….”Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” Harden left the game in the fourth quarter with a hamstring injury. Ruh oh. We will have to keep an eye on the situation, like “CSI at scene” eye. Chris Paul should see a massive uptick in usage, while Eric Gordon and newly acquired Gerald Green should both see more minutes.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Who am i? My name is Ish

On my hand I have a dish.
I have this dish to help me wish.
When I wish to make a wish
I wave my hand with a big swish swish.
Then I say, “I wish for fish!”
And I get fish right on my dish.
So…
If you wish to make a wish,
you may swish for fish with my Ish wish dish.”

– The Good Doctor Seuss

I remember reading One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish when I was a little kid. The Good Doctor was indeed a genius. I had forgotten all about the book until I had kids of my own and decided to participate in the circle of life. Always puts a smile on my face when I read it to them. Anyways, Ish Smith first made us smile back in 2014 when he played for the 76ers and flashed potential. Unfortunately, he’d disappear, then flash. Disappear, then flash, until we pushed him to the side and forgot about him. Well, he’s baaaaaaaaack. With Reggie Jackson out 6-8 weeks with an ankle injury, Ish will be taking over the reigns at point guard for the Pistons. If last night was any indication, we may not have to wish for a dish. Rather, we may get lots of swish swish.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 18 7 5 1 1 1 0 9/18 0

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Santa Claus is known by the names of Saint Nicholas or Kris Kringle. Rajon Rondo is known by the names of Johnny, Swag, and The Yoga Instructor (nicknames courtesy of Basketball Reference). Claus’ height and weight are classified. Rondo is 6′ 1″ 186 pounds. Claus moves around via reindeer-drawn sled. Rondo uses his own two legs to run around the court. Claus is a global icon. Rondo could be if he hired the right marketing agency. Claus and Rondo are different on so many levels, but both are some of the most generous entities that man has ever known. Claus gives gifts to children that are well-behaved and coal to the bad children. Has anyone ever figured out why Claus is so freaking generous? Like, what’s his motivation? We are taught not to accept candy from strangers, especially those that stick their heads out from a windowless van. And for good reason. The candy is the bait to lure us in. And Claus? Anyways, regardless of motivation, Claus is a generous dude. Rondo is also generous. He dishes out dimes that enable his teammates to score buckets easier. In fact, he is so generous that he had dished out 6,216 dimes, good for 31st on the all-time list, before the start of last night’s game.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 2 7 25 1 0 3 0/1 1/5 0

Make that 6,241 dimes, good for 30th on the all-time assist list. The 25 assist game was the ninth-best of all time! Scott Skiles, of all people, holds the record with a 30 assist game. Go figure. Rondo is not going to contribute much outside of assists and rebounds, but the dimes will definitely be plentiful. As for Claus vs Rondo, the edge has to go to Claus, as he has no rival and always seems to deliver. Rondo has his off nights.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have no problem going to the movie theaters alone. I can eat at a restaurant by myself. I don’t mind playing NBA 2K against the computer. I can exist as a lone wolf if I chose to. Ah wooooooooo! But I choose not to. There are many things that are only possible with a +1. I have two kids. Even if I wasn’t married ( I am), the process would technically require a +1. Going to an event after checking the +1 box, requires a +1. Once you check that box, you’re an a**shole if you don’t find/beg/pay someone to fill the role. Singing love songs on my guitar while strolling the beach to wait for the sunset. Requires a +1. By the way, I do not play the guitar. There are just some things that bring perfection. Off the top of my head, it was sitting with my wife on the beach as the sun rose in Santa Barbara. For Tobias Harris, all he needed was a +1 for perfection in last night’s game against the Pacers.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 30 6 1 1 0 1 7/8 10/11 3/4

He played 29 minutes, so +1 would’ve given him a perfect minutes-to-points ratio. +1 in the blocks department would’ve given him a 1/1/1/1 (assists, steals, blocks, and turnovers) line. And, of course, +1 in the 3PT, FG, and FT categories would’ve given him perfect shooting percentages. Not bad, Tobias. Not bad. After a torrid start to the season, Tobias had cooled off. The last two games, though, he’s scored 24 and 30 points. He may be heating up again. Regardless, he is still a top 50 player for fantasy. He provides threes, rebounds, low turnovers, and good shooting percentages.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Caring is a good thing, right? It allows us to coexist with each other and live emotionally rich and fulfilling lives. I care about my family, so I will venture from my bubble to make sure all is good. I care about this post, so I try my best to deliver content that you enjoy reading. But, sometimes caring too much is a bad thing. If I miss 10 shots in a row, it is counter productive to think about it. The only action is to channel my inner JR Smith or Michael Beasley. I used to care so much about what other people thought, that I ended up living my life for “them.” Why? What about the flip side to caring? Is that always bad? Well, it’s bad if I DGAF (didn’t give a f**k) about stop signs or signals. It’s bad if I DGAF about another soul on the planet. But, sometimes it’s good to DGAF. Back to our example of missing 10 shots in a row. DGAF. Wave arms in air and demand the ball….because that next one is going in. DGAF what other people think. It’s my life. Which brings me to the new spokesman for DGAF, Enes Kanter. Kanter supports a certain political movement (the Hizmet Movement of Fethullah Gülen) that has the leader of Turkey trying to arrest him and caused his family to disown him. DGAF. You are not here for politics schmolitics, though. You are here for hoops. And Kanter DGAF about defense and he certainly DGAF about Joel Embiid and the 76ers because he did this yesterday:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
31 22 1 0 0 2 0 12/21 7/8

11 offensive boards! Kanter now has 14 double-dubs on the season, 12 behind the leader. He will not rack up defensive stats, but that’s not his game. He’s going to score and rebound, which has translated into being a top 50 player so far this season.

Here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was very surprised when I Googled Triple D’s. Triple D’s Place, a Jamaican restaurant and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Where were the big, beautiful breasteses? We have truly advanced as a society. Anyways, it’s bad if you get a D in school. Mcy D’s is good when you are hungry. How about for fantasy? Double D, DeMar DeRozan, has been a valuable fantasy player for quite some time. He has averaged over 20 points per game in each of the last five seasons. He has grabbed around 4.5 boards, dished out close to four dimes, 211’d around one, knocked down 82% of his free throws, and shot 45% from the field. The two areas that he lacked in were blocks and threes. Well, last night, DD was lighting it up from three-land.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
45 5 3 2 1 2 6/9 13/21 13/15

It’s only appropriate that he shot 6-of-9 from downtown, huh? The Universe is awesome. Now, before you start getting all excited, DD’s season high for threes was only three. On the year, he’s making 0.7 on 2.5 attempts. Well above his career average, but fewer than the 0.8 on 2.7 attempts back in 2013 season. Last night’s game was more than likely an outlier, but we can all dream. I guess that’s the only thing one can do regarding Triple D’s. Unless you like Jamaican food and Guy Fieri.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When watching Kyle Kuzma play basketball, all I can think about is the Notorious B.I.G. One of my favorite songs is Juicy.

Many in the NBA thought Kuzma wouldn’t amount to nothin’. Now he’s in the limelight ’cause his hoops game is tight. Now honies play him close like butter played toast. Ha! What a line. Biggie Smalls was the illest. Anyways, Kuzma went from negative to positive and it all started when he was drafted 27th overall in the NBA Draft. The Summer League followed, where he dominated and led the Lakers to hoisting the trophy. Then the regular season started. He scored double figures in five of his first seven NBA games. It was on, baby bay-bee. In fact, there’s only been one other game in which he failed to score double digits. What’s even more remarkable is that he’s played 27 games, yet only started 11. Kuuuuuuuuuuuz! It all came to a culmination last night against the Rockets.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 38 7 4 0 1 0 7/10 12/17 7/10

This is no fluke. Kuz has been balling from day one and is only going to get better. It’s on, baby bay-bee!

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Back in the 80’s, Hasbro came out with My Buddy, a doll marketed for boys to teach them about caring for their friends. It was controversial at the time because dolls were traditionally for girls. Yep, took until the 80’s. Anyways, there were two things that always stuck with me regarding My Buddy. First, the catchy commercial song. Second, the fact that My Buddy eventually morphed into Chucky from Child’s Play. In a way, it perfectly captures the duality of the world, which segues perfectly to Buddy Hield of the Sacramento Kings. Selected with the sixth overall pick in the 2016 NBA Draft, big things were expected from the guard out of Oklahoma. Even bigger things were expected a year later when he was a fundamental piece in the trade for DeMarcus Cousins. Vivek Ranadive, owner of the Kings, said, “Buddy Hield has Steph Curry potential.” As my momma always told me, “potential don’t mean shit.” Buddy had some ugly shooting performances: 1-for-10, 2-for-10, etc. As a result, he was allotted 30 or more minutes in a game just twice. Every time he sucked, we threw him into the proverbial trash and eradicated him from our memories. But….he kept resurrecting. Just like Chucky. Last night in Philly, Buddy helped the Kings best the 76ers 101-95. Buddy went:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
 24 5 2 3 0 3 3/9 9/19 3/3

Until I see the Kings actually commit to Buddy, I’m hesitant to trust him. He can get hot, for extended stretches of time, but he will just end up disappointing you. Then you will throw him in the trash and the circle of life will resume once again.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?