There have been 59 players in the history of the NBA who have scored 50 points in a game more than once. Laughably, Wilt Chamberlain produced a 50-burger 118 times. For perspective, Michael Jordan is second on the all-time list, and he was “only” able to do it 31 times. Only nine players have accomplished the feat at least 10 times. What I’m trying to say is that scoring fifty points in a game is freaking hard and few are able to do it. You know who knew, though? The Stocktonator, as it had Kyrie as the #3 player last night. Entering last night’s game, Kyrie Irving had accomplished the feat two times.

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
50 8 7 0 1 0 7/14 17/33 9/10

Make that three now. When a player drops a 50-burger, the world is truly his. Look, it’s an auto intro in my daily recaps. Now, since the world is Kyrie’s, if he says the world is flat, then the world is flat. Do you think it’s a coincidence that the 50-burger was dropped on the corner of FLATbush Avenue and Atlantic Ave inside the Barclays Center? Me thinks not. But then I remembered something about history, in that it is written by the victors. Despite Kyrie’s heroics, the Nets fell to the Timberwolves in OT, 127-126. You round Earthers live to fight another day.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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P. S., the postscript, is something that needs to be eradicated. Why? Because it’s a symbol of laziness, and we can’t have that in our modern day society. Hmm, now that I think about it, there’s good lazy and bad lazy. Good laziness fosters innovation, as some of the greatest inventions were created because of it. Bad laziness is smoking weed, eating donuts, and watching tv all day and night. P.S. is bad lazy. Back in the day, when folks would dip their brushes in ink and write via candle light, the P. S. made perfect sense. Imagine spending hours writing a letter, then at the end you remember something. It wouldn’t make sense to scrap the entirety of the letter, hence the postscript. Even after society was blessed with Whiteout, the postscript still had function. Now? There’s no need for the P. S., as everything is done on computer. For those of you who still write letters…..WHY? For you heathens who use P. S. while typing on the computer, you some lazy mofos. Last night in Toronto, a P. S. was getting busy and was definitely no afterthought. Pascal Siakam went bonkers and put up a line of:

PTS REB AST STL BLK TOV 3PT FG FT
34 18 5 0 1 4 2/5 11/26 10/11

Now, the game went to OT, but whatever. Siakam did most of the damage during regulation and had a usage rate of 35!!!! Kawhi Schawhi. I guess that preseason ADP of 20 wasn’t too high after all.

Here’s what else I saw last night:

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Ah, centers. The literal giants of the fantasy basketball world. There are 56 centers listed below, with the shortest being Montrezl Harrell who stands at 6′ 8″ tall. In the United States, the average height of a male is 5′ 9″, which puts Montrezl in the 99.988 percentile. But he’s the shortest player in this piece. Many, if not most, are seven feet or taller. In the entirety of the world, there are approximately 2800 people seven feet or taller, which translates to 0.000038% of the population on Planet Earth. And 1.7% play in the NBA! Crazy! The outliers don’t stop there, though. Nikola Jokic is the only center who is projected to average over 4 dimes per game, with a whopping 7.5! Since these literal giants tower over the landscape, it would make sense that they dominate the blocks and boards categories. There are 15 players projected to grab at least 10 boards per game. 12 are centers. For blocks, 19 players are projected to reject at least 1.5 shots per game. 13 are centers. Let’s all bow down and pay homage to these titans of the fantasy basketball world.

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I now understand why this forward position is named power, as it is a microcosm of society at large. There is the 1% vs everyone else. For fantasy basketball, there is Giannis Antetokounmpo vs womp womp womp. While all the other positions have multiple players who could legitimately vie for the top spot, everyone bends the knee to G. This is 1985-1989 Mike Tyson-esque domination. Could a Buster Douglas come out of nowhere? Sure, as black swan events can never be discounted, but outside of injury to G, that scenario is highly unlikely.

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Rankings are helpful because they give a general view of the landscape. For fantasy basketball, though, drafting strictly off of a rankings list is not ideal. Think of it like this. I rank my articles of clothing as such: 1) OOFOS slippers 2) Razzball Hoops Tshirt from Rotowear 3) Basketball shorts 4) Blue tshirt 5) Boxers 6) Socks. Now, say I’m in a two-person draft with my wife. Her number one pick is boxers. She definitely reached and didn’t get value on that pick, but whatever. I’m going OOFOS slippers. If you have a pair, then you know what I’m talking about. I don’t mind free balling and walking around naked isn’t a problem for me. Since it’s a snake draft, I’m adhering to my rankings and selecting the Rotowear shirt. With her second pick, the wife doubles down and selects the basketball shorts then goes with socks. What was she thinking? Now, here is where the conundrum happens. If I go with my rankings, the blue tshirt is my next pick, but I selected the Rotowear shirt earlier. That wouldn’t make sense to grab another shirt. But what if I was sick and needed to double layer? Then doubling down on the shirts would be a fantastic idea. In fantasy basketball, there are so many avenues to conquering the puzzle. Some punt a category or categories, others go balanced, while a few double and triple down on a category. As a result, it’s good to know where players are ranked and drafted, but it’s more important to know which players produce in certain categories. Below are lists of players who provide certain stats.

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Who came up with the names for the forward positions? There’s small and power. Why didn’t they go small and big? Or weak and power? Maybe there was a power struggle within the name manufacturing plant and small/power was the compromise to appease all parties. Politics, man. Anyways, you will find some of the best two-way players in the league here. There are also 3-and-D, 3-without-the-D, and D-without-the-3 players. Enjoy!

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Sun Tzu, the Chinese general, military strategist, philosopher, and author of the Art of War wrote: “what enables the wise sovereign and the good general to strike and conquer, and achieve things beyond the reach of ordinary men, is foreknowledge.” Before undertaking any endeavor in life, knowing and understanding the landscape provides a tremendous advantage […]

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Points guards are the Mother Teresas of the fantasy basketball world, as they like to give. Shooting guards are….the cavemen. See ball, shoot ball, take ball, then shoot ball. Rinse and repeat. These are obviously generalizations, but shooters shoot, and that’s what this post is all about. I kid, kind of. The elite at this position are across-the-board contributers, while the rest are indeed cavemen.

To see my per-game value projections for each player, click HERE. In the “Pos” box (which stands for position, not the other thing you were thinking), type in “sg” and the table will sort by just shooting guards.

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Value is subjective. Take Barnett Newman’s Onement VI painting below.

I see a blue canvas with a white stripe down the middle. Other people? Well, check out this  quote from The Guardian: “A single white line divides a flat expanse of blue; it seems to rip open the universe, a crack in space and time.” Well then. Ok. Kind of dramatic and sounds like bullshit to me, but that’s just my perspective. The painting sold for $43.8 million, so what the F do I know? If someone likes something and has F U money to throw around, then that’s cool because at the end of the day, if Onement VI is worth $43.8 million to them, then Onement VI is worth $43.8 million. End of story. For fantasy basketball, though, it’s not so simple. We all value players differently, as we have unique perspectives and construct rosters in divergent ways. If a team decides to punt the free throw category, then Andre Drummond’s value is elevated from their contemporaries. With that said, we can ascertain some semblance of value for a fantasy basketball player due to their past history and projected future production. Julius Randle is one player who has jumped out to me because the spread in my projected value versus perceived value seems to be super wide.

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Assists are one of the more scarce resources in fantasy basketball. According to my projections, there are only 30 players dishing out more than five dimes per game. Three other players are at 4.8 or higher, so if you want to expand the list to 33, by all means. Now, seven of those players are within the top 10, 21 are located in the 11-100 range, and two are outside the top 100. So, much of your drafting strategy will depend on how you approach the assists category. Some choose to punt, others pay up, while the rest go William Wallace and hoooooooooooooooolllllldddd. If you go the William Wallace route, Jeff Teague and Ricky Rubio should be your targets because, after those two are off the board, the pickings get slim.

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My “What if?” game is inconsistent. Many of times, I’ll say F it and eradicate the question from my consciousness. As the Church of Nike preaches, I just do it. At other moments, I’m either too lazy or mental mind F myself to the point of paralysis. No bueno. Regardless, I am but a human, so even if I wanted to up my “What if?” game, my powers are limited. But the gods and aliens (maybe they are the same thing, but that’s a piece for another time) are not. Imagine their “What if?” game? Yo, Poseidon, what if you made the largest mammal to roam the sea without the ability to swallow a human? That would be hilarious! Oh, Jesus. You are a funny guy. What if you gave a tank the jumping ability of a flea? Think you could ask your pops to take care of that? And thus Zion Williamson was born. He’s a generational talent, already being compared to some of the greats in the game, but has the hype gone too far and is he being overdrafted in fantasy leagues?

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