At this point, I’m just going to assume everyone here knows what love is, what it does, and how it both can be both the sweet and the sour. And of course you’d never know what sweet is unless you tasted sour, which is why Chinese food is just so darn good. Having a problem? Feeling down? Feeling up? Feeling all the directions? Just eat some Crab Rangoon, easy. But despite getting myself hungry just now (eternal life struggle), we have to move forward and make the pun work, so therefore, I insert one Kevin Love into this content. And discussing his season thus far seems apropos based on last night’s performance where he led the Cavs in scoring with 20 points in a game that he only played 24 minutes and literally just shot threes. I’m not quite sure what a figurative three is, but since all of his field goal attempts (12) were beyond the arc, my statement still stands true. A relief to everyone, I’m sure…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Author: Jay
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.
Read some of Jay's 129 posts
Booker? I Don’t Even Know Her!
January 18, 2022 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes |by: Jay
Despite the continuing drama in La La Land and the conversions it would bring writing about, I’m going to spend a bit of time on Devin Booker who dropped 48 points, six assists, five rebounds, and three steals in a win against the Spurs last night. Mmm, those sweet sweet unique hits from Phoenix… all 12 of them. I’m kidding, there’s actually a lot of people out there in the tri-state area, just too old to understand anything digital that’s not Facebook, so here we are. And even though Booker tried for 50 (was pulled with the Suns up by 10 and missing his last two shots), the stat line last night was downright dominant when you realize it may all be happening because he pointed at the Raptor. (Suns are 4-0 now since that incident by the way.) During the same span, Booker has been averaging 32.3 PPG and has carried the Suns a few times this past week all by himself, including last night’s win against the aforementioned Spurs. Best player in Arizona currently wearing #1? Don’t tell Razzball Football, but I think so…
Here’s what else I saw during last night’s games:
Please, blog, may I have some more?As has been recently reported by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, the Detroit Pistons are finalizing a deal to acquire Forward Bol Bol from the Denver Nuggets for Rodney McGruder and a second-round pick. While the trade hasn’t officially gone through of this writing, it’s quite nice to see a news item and an easy pun meet, like Sonny and Cher, peas and carrots, Jet Li and Delroy Lindo… but besides making the title gods weep from joy, we must also understand that there’s a lot here to talk about with Bol Bol’s trade, and I honestly can’t wait to type my Bol Bol’s out. Literally and figuratively…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Bad Tasting Curry
January 4, 2022 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes |by: Jay
Look, if you thought I was above such a simple and obvious pun, you were wrong. But it’s okay because I actually like curry (the food) and believe there is no such thing as bad tasting curry unless you actually try. Now on the other hand, perhaps the same cannot be said of one Steph Curry who went on to have a pretty spectacular night… spectacularly bad that is which, you know, is technically a form of spectacular, so there’s that. But for a talent like Steph, it does make you raise an eyebrow (especially if you’re Spock) when you see a stat line that involves 3/17 shooting and just 1/10 from beyond the arch. Despite the Warriors win over the Heat, there is some concern with Curry’s shot lately and after last night’s attempt at becoming a certified mason (the brick-layer, not Washington’s religion!), it’s hard not to at least consider the idea that something may be just a bit off. And then you also might have to consider the idea of is he just playing terrible or shooting terrible. While the former would be a bit more obvious, I’m still willing to think it’s the latter as while wonky, he was still at +0 after missing 17 shots, which I’m still trying to figure out how you do. At the very least, with a line like 9/3/10 on the night, we can see he makes a fine Draymond Green impersonator. Which is probably not what you want from a potential MVP, but I’m sure Green doesn’t mind. Here’s what else I saw last night…
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’m sure I could have gone high-brow and done a motif-style pun on Franz Kafka and the emergence of rookie Franz Wagner, but c’mon. We got enough letters to get it to near-wang and we got an “er” at the end. I know no other brow than a low one… but let’s not lose focus on the real topic at hand, not how artful that title of this piece is, but rather how Franz Wagner is doing. And quite well probably, as he’s coming fresh off a 38 PTS, 7 REB, 3 AST performance on 12/20 shooting (4/8 from outside the arc) with a +4 in a 17-point loss against the Bucks. It’s been said that when we look back several years to this draft class, it’ll be considered legendary in skill and scope. I know it’s been said because I have also said it before and believe it to be completely true, this is probably shaping up to be one of the best draft classes ever in NBA history and I firmly believe that Wanger is a large part of that prognostication. I also got to use firm and wang in the same sentence because I realized if you type Wagner enough times, you go full Freudian, so truly the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Who Needs Poinsettias When You Have DeRozans?
December 20, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball |by: Jay
For a question that could be right out of a Wu-Tang ballad, I find myself feeling oddly accomplished for lining up such a great seasonal and on-brand pun. It’s almost like I have 1000 more words to write and none of them will be better than what I just typed. But that’s okay, I’m a fantasy writer, disappointment is something I know very well. You think disappointment is your ally? You merely adopted it, I was born in it, molded by it. But beyond that existential despair, there lies something better, actual content focusing on DeMar DeRozan. And it’s no coincidence we’re talking (or writing) about him while coming off a big Bulls win against the Lakers with DeRozan leading the charge with 38 points, 4 rebounds and 6 assists with 19 in the fourth quarter. Now that we’re approaching the “almost the halfway” point of the season, it’s probably safe to say that this’ll be DeRozans best year-to-date, but will it be? That question will be pontificated on and more, just after the jump…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey, it works several ways in that the Knicks’ main color is blue and Julius Randle’s season so far has made all of us blue! In Spanish, they call this “dos azul” but I’m not really sure who they are and why they’re talking to me. Also, I guess the Knicks’ other color is orange and I could have just gone with the better reference “Orange Julius” but nothing easy is worth doing or some such pedantic saying. Anyways, while I think most rational minds (does this count me?) had Randle marked for regression, I don’t think many of them expected this level of play in this amount of time unless it was the playoffs. (Yak-yak-yak.) So as the famous parlance of our time states: it is what it is. So after coming off an (as of this writing) 2-for-9 shooting performance (1-for-5 beyond the arch) with just eight points and seven (seis!) turnovers, one has to wonder where Randle goes from here and that’s why I’m here. Also to look good. But also to, you know, type stuff. Hopefully related to Julius Randle…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Hey Jack, it’s a fact: 1) Paprika is for men. 5) You snooze, you lose. B) ReSpEk ThE SuN. VII) Wiggins is an All-Star! What a time to be alive, especially if you are Andrew Wiggins. And watching this slow-moving transition has been quite the experience, filled with a bunch of memes and “what?” mutterings thrown about. From a young and a wild shooting wing several years ago to perhaps one of the better three-and-d players right now is quite the journey, and take it from this writer, the next stage should probably be an All-Star appearance (his first)…no? Okay, okay, that might be going a little too far, but what this post presupposes is, what if I’m not? This calls for a jiggy jump! You know, because the “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” reference and jumping from the lede to the full post with the link below… yeah, exactly.
Please, blog, may I have some more? Lakers’ War: Return of the LeBron
November 25, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes |by: Jay
Much has been pontificated, written, said, even dreamed! about LeBron’s recent kerfluffle, kerfluffle being the *official* term, so I’ll leave that where it lays. It’s like how you’re never supposed to beat up a dead horse, mainly because I’m sure it smells and you shouldn’t be touching anything that’s been dead for a while. I’m sure that’s what that saying means. But man, is it just me, Captain Obvious, your friend, or do the Lakers kinda-sorta suck without LeBron James? With Thanksgiving Eve bringing a full slate of games and content, it was still too easy to focus on this Lakers vs. Pacers matchup that went to OT and saw LeBron play for 43 minutes, scoring 39 PTS on 13-29 shooting and 5-12 3PT with 5 REB, 6 AST, and 2 BLK. The performance and James leading the Lakers in the fourth quarter to force OT was what I call his usual Wednesday, but I guess he had to once again remind all the haters about his GOAT status, even playing center and being the best defender on the floor at the same time. Good Jokic if I ever saw one. With that pun already making me roll all of our eyes, let’s check out what else happened last night in the N-B-A…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Thanksgiving Poole Party
November 22, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes |by: Jay
Look, I would have just named this post “Poole Party” and be done with it, but hey, it’s nearing gobble-gobble (scientific terminology) time and I figure if I add the word “Thanksgiving” the SEO gods will smile upon us mere mortals and conversion rates will rain down from the sky. But enough about online marketing, we’re not here for that. I mean, *we* are, but you’re not, so let’s move from the turkey day (andanotherone.gif) part of the title to the “Poole Party” part, which is either a really fantastic pun or the ye olde English way of inviting you to my pool party. Which one could it be I ask? If you picked the Jordan Poole pun, you win! I mean, the prize is just you joining me after the jump for more Jordan Poole content, but some would say that the real destination is the friends we made along the way. Be my friend…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Damn It Jim, I’m a Basketball Player, Not A Doctor
November 15, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball | 1 Commentby: Jay
Look, if I have a chance to go Trek, imma go Trek. Famous last words from a nerd (I think the best jingles rhyme), but what else should I do with a player named Nah’Shon “Bones” Hyland that isn’t sexually explicit? Sharing the same naming conventions of Duncan Idaho or perhaps the more-widely known Hannah Montana, Bones Hyland has been making a name for himself lately, which seems redundant in this context. For a rookie that has set career-high for point in his last four games, one might wonder what his true ceiling is, and while he wasn’t considered in the highest tiers in this past draft class, surely that sentiment is changing and for good reason. So while he might not ever reach Doctor McCoy levels of stardom, one has to be happy with the fact that he actually might become an NBA star, which you know is probably more important since, well, yeah, spoiler alert, this is a basketball site.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Borrowing something from the cultural zeitgeist and then rebranding it into something new has a large set of unwritten rules, and most likely one of them is that dated references can show their age pretty easily. Seems easy enough to accept if you also accept the fact that there are unwritten rules for such things and I can just arbitrarily do what I want with them, but that’s just science folks, unquestionable in this day and age. Ahem. But I’d like to think there’s something deeper here at play. Call Me Maybe is a great anthem and bubblegum pop track, of course, we all know that. But that it alludes to the inconvenience that love at first sight brings to a girl greater depth and meaning to the forefront and ultimately addresses the current relationship you might have right now with Evan Mobley. Crazy, right? Yeah, probably, but that’s the content of this post and we’re doing it live. Not really live, but who doesn’t need another old reference?
Please, blog, may I have some more?