While the title may seem a bit pointed and may give the allure of another easy hot take piece on what is an early season and a popular player struggling, I promise that while this post may still be that, the title itself is more about me being lazy and just picking something with an easy rhyming scheme. But hey, it works. FOR ME. But guess what’s not working? Everything for Dame, that’s for sure. And while you expect to feel at least a lil’ scared and haunted on Halloween, I’d say watching one of the worst performances of Damian Lillard’s career is a bit scarier than should be allowed. (So many Halloween references, so little time.) So what’s up with Dame and will he continue to stay lame? Linger and enjoy the rhyme a bit more before jumping in and finding out…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Author: Jay
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell. You can follow him on Twitter @jaywrong.
Read some of Jay's 129 posts
Thunderstruck
October 28, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes |by: Jay
I’m not the biggest AC/DC fan… which is probably an understatement. But of course, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t feel a smidgen of hype by the time “Thunder” is said seven straight times, and in a way, perhaps a metaphor for the actual Oklahoma City Thunder. I’ve never actually met a Thunder fan, have never seen one outside of Paycom, and I have a hard time finding a reason to retain any information of the team from year-to-year, yet at certain times, usually the playoffs, I find myself getting hyped by their ability to just grind. And while this was not actually one of those games (WHAT A TWIST), I do find it absolutely compelling when watching a team come down from 26 points to defeat a Lakers team that oddly has a few players which might have played for Oklahoma at some point and time? As I said, Thunder retention has been at an all-time low for me, but the fact remains, after four straight losses and allowing the Lakers 41 points in the first quarter, under 27 points from Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and a double-double by Josh Giddey, the Thunder were able to pull out an implausible victory against the Lakers and a quadruple-double from Russell Westbrook. I mean, even the Knicks had a 27-point lead the other day against the 76ers and managed the win so… ahem.
Here’s what else I saw and hopefully retain (crosses fingers) with last night’s games…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yes, I know it’s a mouthful, but it just rolls off the tongue. Like saying Mamungkukumpurangkuntjunya Hill three times fast. And yeah I Googled that, and yes, it’s a real place in Australia. (The more you know!) Though I could have just used the Hawaiian state fish which has all the complexity but with a bit more brevity; the Humuhumu nukunuku apua, but you know, I figure why not do both to pad that sweet-sweet word count. What were we talking about again? Ah yes, one Kyle Kuzma and the curious case thereof. And it is quite the curious case, I promise! With what was once a burgeoning talent has now turned into something other than, and now with a new city, a new team, and with that a brand new system, Kuzma will at least have the opportunity to reestablish himself and his talent with the Wizards. So that’s the case, now to see what’s so curious… about Kuzma. (See that actually rolled off the tongue, no sarcasm bro.)
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2021-22 Washington Wizards Preview
October 16, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Washington Wizards |by: Jay
Ah yes, the Washington Wizards, my hometown team. Not by choice mind you, I get my melancholy injected right into my veins by rooting for other, more storied heart-breakers such as the Clippers or Rockets depending on the year, decade, entire existence. However, as this is the franchise that is closest to me in proximity, there’s hopefully something that can be gleaned. And since it’s getting closer and closer to Halloween, we should just go ahead and call this preview The Gleaning. Scary, right? You ain’t never seen me glean, son.
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2021-22 Indiana Pacers Preview
October 12, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Indiana Pacers | 1 Commentby: Jay
As someone who has been to Indiana, I can’t really say much about it. I mean, what can you say about the place that hasn’t already been said about Nebraska? Exactly. And yes, while I’m sure there might be a few more rivers or something like that in Nebraska, the one major difference is that John Mellencamp never wrote a song about Lincoln. The other major difference is of course Indiana gets to boast that they have the Pacers. Not pacemakers mind you, which are very popular in the state (along with the Ozarks), aye heart health joke. Regardless, I bring you the very hard-to-peg Pacers, which has a nice ring to it if we’re being non-sexual. And yes, we are being non-sexual, etiquette folks. But these non-sexualized (sorry SEO) Pacers have a chance to be anywhere from entertaining to middling and we shall gauge the levels of both after the jump…
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2021-22 Houston Rockets Preview
September 24, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Houston Rockets | 6 Commentsby: Jay
You know, there was a time before SpaceX and Blue Origin, when the only Rockets I cared about was old and busted Clyde Drexler, old and busted Charles Barkley, and of course my personal favorite player of all-time, Hakeem Olajuwon. Who, by the time the other guys showed up, was also sorta old and sorta busted. And while this little soirée into sentimentality has definitely aged me, I guess it certainly shows how far the NBA game has come along, and in most regards, how the Rockets have evolved into the team they are today. Not without bumps and heartbreak mind you, but the Rockets team we have today certainly has a lot of fluidity to it, and that’s not to describe James Harden’s weekend at the club. A mix of new and old, unspectacular and well, average spectacularness (totally a word), this team has a lot of ifs, and’s, and buts, yet still could be an interesting amalgamation of opportunity and measured success. How that comes about is the real question I suppose, and this being a team preview, we’ll at least attempt to answer it…
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2021-22 Los Angeles Lakers Fantasy Preview
September 14, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Los Angeles Lakers | 2 Commentsby: Jay
Well, we did the Clippers, so I guess it makes sense to do the Lakers. And not just because technically it ends up being a nautical extravaganza that involves sailboats on a lake (MAXIMIZING METAPHOR) but because in a lot of ways these teams act as a yin and yang together and against each other. While I’m not even sure what that fully means as an Asian-American man, all I can say is that this specific Lakers team is poised to be good (LeBron and company) but may also carry with it some frustrations (AARP and company) during the long NBA season. But as someone once said, if you never taste the sour, you’ll never know the sweet so I guess we’ll end the intro on that note for some reason…
Please, blog, may I have some more? 2021-22 Los Angeles Clippers Fantasy Preview
September 3, 2021 | 2021-22 Fantasy Basketball, Los Angeles Clippers |by: Jay
Hello once again, Razzballers. Not sure why I’m saying hi like it’s a surprise you’re here, but we’ll just go along with it and I’ll act disappointed you didn’t bring nachos. Nachos, man, will no one think of me? As the arrival of the newest NBA season comes closer (nearer?), it’s that time again to go over the specific teams and do our yearly ritual to pontificate, debate, and articulate what we see before us. Don’t ask me why it sounds like some slogan from the corporate zeitgeist where synergistic methods on trending markets do something or whatever. I just wanted nachos. For my first preview, we’ll be tackling the Los Angeles Clippers, a franchise that has really made me question why I follow sports at all, and then I remembered I know this pain. I was born in it, molded by it. As a Padres fan, it’s always nice to see darkness, my old friend. Exiting stage left from last year’s playoffs (or right, I don’t think it matters which direction) once again in the Conference Finals was both expected and surprising. There were many caveats as to why it happened yet again, but there were also a lot of great developments that could help the Clippers in their goal to finally reach the NBA Finals. So let’s see how the Clippers are shaping up and the fantasy implications henceforth. Medieval vernacular, why not?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Well, probably not. The fire needs to be hot and it needs to be spit, and Delon Wright does neither. He also is not a rapper. Then again, neither is Dame D.O.L.L.A., but I think we allow from the amount of punctuation used. And you really don’t need Wright to be that… well, I’m not going to state that having a basketball player who twilights as a rapping dragon or a nostalgia-driven meme, depending on how meta you want to go with the joke, is a bad thing. So look, Delon doesn’t spit hot fire, he doesn’t spell or pronounce his name like D-y-l-a-n, but what he does bring are multi-categorical contributions (say that three times fast), and while many would point to the return of Derrick Rose as a death knell for both Wright’s minutes and overall production output, I’m not necessarily certain that’s true and I aim to think about this concept aloud. Join me after the jump?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Sure, we don’t want to delve too much into existential despair, but the play on words in the title was very low-hanging fruit. And what is the point of low-hanging fruit other than to reach for it and then eat it? If only Adam and Eve had made this argument, Harambe would still be alive today people. And speaking of despair, the “North” has had some recent health issues with both Kyle Lowry (toe) & Pascal Siakam (knee) which will likely open up minutes for this week and quite possibly more. With that in mind, and still no solid prognosis for what might be substantial time out for Siakam specifically as of this writing, we’ll be taking a look at Aron Baynes, who was a fringe streaming/bench piece before, but will have elevated himself to starter since Sunday. Now, if only I could find a pun that works with Kelly Oubre and existential crises…crisisies…crisisiest? I’m sure they all work…
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rolls Royce, Trusted to Deliver Excellence
January 18, 2021 | Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 3 Commentsby: Jay
Is it just me or does O’Neale need one less “E” or one more “L”? Otherwise I’m just going to read it like he’s the Irish Nelly. Sans the light racism question mark (you’d have to ask Nelly, and I guess Ireland), we’re continuing the trend of discussing players to plug and play because apparently the year we’re having is just a continuation of 2020… and if there’s anything we’ve learned from 2020, it’s that we probably all just died and the past year or so has just been our synapses firing randomly the entire time. I mean, why not? But if you ain’t here for the existential crisis, you’re probably here to read about Royce O’Neale. Or you googled “Irish Nelly”. Either way, I’m sure you’ll find what you were looking for…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Okay, so first thing’s first, this post will not cover Vanderbilt University nor its fight song, but I only wanted to mention the amount of work I put in to take a player in Jarred Vanderbilt, Googling the lyrics of the Vanderbilt University fight song, and then combining the two for a relatable and cohesive title. Look man, I care. Regardless, the cat is out of the bag (who put the cat in the bag though?) and we’ll obviously be focusing on the humble emergence this Timberwolves player, someone who is currently one of several players in the leagues who are emerging through the expansive and growing amount of minutes available due to rosters performing a unique form of seppuku.
Please, blog, may I have some more?