I’m pretty sure Stephen Curry looks at fantasy ADPs. He’s like, “I’m not a runaway consensus #1, and this labradoodle Brow IS?!”
Of course I started writing this open when Anthony Davis was 1-16, then he got red hot AND MADE TWO IN A ROW! Somebody cool him off, he’s NBA Jam on fire! Brow was more uncomfortable with the ball in his hands than watching Scary Movie 2 with your parents last night, wrapping up with a 4-20 FG outing. Might be the worst reference to 420 I’ve ever seen! 10-15 FT helped salvage some points – and he got his 3 swats – but 18/6/2/0/3 with 5 TO and a deathstroke to your FG% is not what the #1 pick ordered. Curry on the other hand treated New Orleans like Hurricane Katrina! Too rough? Fine, then he treated them like BP… Yikes, Nawleans has had a rough ride. Then their NBA team has everyone get hurt! Steph just straight whipped it out (I mean his MVP trophy!) and pummeled the Pelicans and their awful PG for 40/6/7/2/0 on 14-26 FG (5-12 3PTM 7-7 FT). Hey, it’s opening night, and the Warriors are phenomenal at disrupting big men. And the Pelicans had all their PG minutes played by guys on the street a week ago. Hopefully you own Curry in a league or two, and I’m literally about to spam Brow owners as hard as LinkedIn emails. Seriously, I don’t care if some recruiter looked at my profile, I don’t need an email on that ish! No, no, blurb on Ish Smith is later… What an awful Pelicans team… Here’s what else went down on NBA’s opening night:
Nikola Mirotic – Hit a step-back three right over Love that I think was a good 4-5 feet behind the stripe that reminded me of a young Gallinari when he was having a hot game on the Knicks. Kinda a weird throwaway comp, but I felt like growing this blurb out like Miro’s beard! Was crazy hot, hitting 6-11 FG (3-4 3PTM 4-4 FT) for 19/9/1/1/0. But while a lot of people were freaking out, it was in only 25 minutes in a game the Bulls won by 2. Had 4 TO and 5 fouls, given one of each was an offensive foul where Mozgov flopped. Just really scares me that in a game where they wouldn’t have minded a little extra O, he only plays 25 minutes. And the very first bucket for CLE was an easy layup where he gave up the whole paint playing awful D. Joakim Noah did bump knees in this one and left after 17 minutes, so tonight the Bulls may spike Miro’s minutes out of necessity if Noah is out.
Taj Gibson – As expected, played a ton for his D, and the stats bore it out. I think I used that phrase correctly, I messed up “peaked my interest” before! I think that’s still wrong! Anywho, 22 minutes of 5/10 with 3 blocks. The 3 TO hurt, but pretty sure at least 2 of those were offensive fouls. Oh, and he also fouled out. If he knew his sixth personal was coming, I would’ve expected another kick to Matthew Dellavedova….
Derrick Rose – The overall line is pretty blah (18/1/5/1/0 on 8-22 FG), but at least he looked healthy. Hard to score when the basket is blurry! Played 32 and a half minutes as well, and survived a bad landing on either his ankle or knee at one point. If he stays healthy for two weeks, you probably need to get rid of him faster than Rush Limbaugh off Sunday NFL Countdown.
Tony Snell – So smooooooooooth. 11/2/0/0/0 and pretty boring, but so smoooooooth. I’m saying that in the voice of the Honest Trailer guy. Had one nice pump fake to get a Cav to jump way past him and swish a deep two. I wish he was given a little more opportunity in the system. Deep league ownable and obvious ThrAGNOF (2 treys last night).
Pau Gasol – LIFE FINDS A WAY! You’ll just have to excuse Dr. Malcolm, he sucks at everything except laughing and having a sweaty stomach. Had an atrocious game (1-7 FG 2 PTS 2 REB), but gave you usability with a 6-block effort including a game winning swat of a passive LeBron layup. Pau also chipped in a steal and had no TO in 32 minutes. You’ll have to take it!
Jimmy Butler – Godzilla is awesome. 17/5/2/2/1, did miss his two treys, but shot 6-14 and 5-5 FT with no TO. You metrics whore, you!
Kirk Hinrich – Wow, surprised he got a DNP-CD. As an E’Twaun Moore owner in REL, as soon as I saw Aaron Brooks come in for Rose, I thought for sure Moore was out of the rotation despite a nice preseason. But in he came and played a really nice 14 minutes (5-8 FG, 1 trey, 11/3/1 no TO). Brooks forced shots and didn’t look great, pretty encouraged for Moore for the deepest of deepers.
LeBron James – Man, the mockery for his new back treatment routine is going to be fun this year! When he comes out of the game, he lays on a rolled towel next to the bench to keep his back loose. LeBron, laying on his back, staying loose… He’s all about being sure there’s ample baby powder too! 25/10/5/1/0 with only 1 TO in a nice debut, but as mentioned above, the hopeful game-tying shot was pretty passive. Also missed all of his FT attempts (0-3), with the first one barely hitting iron. Looked healthy otherwise, at least, except ya know… The Alopecia without the headband…
Kevin Love – Yeesh, what was he wearing around his head?! It was like LeBron’s used headband’s elastic. This thin little grey thing, and Love doesn’t even have long hair! Get outta here with that, Love! 18/8/4/0/2 with 3 treys, two of them coming in a last minute comeback effort. Looked pretty good; I still have a worry either he or LeBron get to 70 games, even off an 0-1 start. Is it just me, or does every LeBron team seem to have a slow start…?
Mo Williams – Woooooo! Who has been saying to draft him all offseason?! 19/4/7/1/1 with three treys on 7-15 shooting in a crazy multi-cat line. Love he changed his number to 52 as well, that’s my lucky number! Obviously not expecting nights like this every game out until Kyrie Irving is back, but actually, I could see it being kinda close! If you’re a Mo owner and Kyrie is on an opponent’s team, this might be an epic sell-high moment in a deal to them.
Timofey Mozgov – Healthcare.Mozgov proved that while he is going to be worth a final roster spot in 12ers, you’re going to have an itchy trigger finger on his cut button virtually every night. Only 21 minutes for 5/5/2/0/2. A low line with the blocks wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world until you look at 2-6 FG, 1-2 FT, and 3 TO. Ew.
Tristan Thompson – I literally fell asleep for a few minutes after typing his name.
Anderson Varejao – Got 12 minutes, and his only shot was a jumper and had 2 boards and 1 block. I hate the Cavs C… Bring back Ilgauskas!
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Ohhhhhh no… This new batch is so good! It’s uncut! 99% pure with giant crystals! My KCP addiction is back into full force, with me pulling tricks in the alley just for one more sweet taste! Game-high 21 PTS in a 21/4/1/1/0 line hitting 4-7 from downtown and all 3 of his freebies – a shocking poor part of his game his first two seasons. Admittedly, one FT hit the front rim and got a shooters’ roll in, but still. He missed his last 3 FG with two frantic putback jumpers, so even the FG% could’ve been better. Played a boatload of minutes, looks locked in, my inexplicable rank is looking a bit better.
Marcus Morris – Every shot I kept thinking, “Marcus Morris is taking a lot of shots…” Led the Pistons in FGA hitting 6-19 for 18/10/4 with a trey. By far the best Pistons line-up looked to be moving Morris to the 4 and bringing the well-tuned StanJo in for the 3. Unfortunately, Ersan Ilyasova still played 34 minutes. I could actually see the Six-Foot-Turkey the first one to be phased out for minutes for StanJo before Morris twin numero dos. He probably needs to be added in virtually all 10/12ers.
Stanley Johnson – Boy is bigggggggg. Watching some summer ball and a tad of preseason, I thought he just looked big against some weak competish, but he’s a big boy! 7/4/3/0/0 in his debut, shooting only 3-10 with a trey with a few forced shots in there. That said – and as mentioned above – I think he could sneak in for more and more minutes with Ersan looking very meh.
Reggie Jackson – Looked fine out there, for a decent 15/8/5 with 2 treys and 5-5 FT. Didn’t blow you away, but didn’t need to this game.
Andre Drummond – Did his normal swag for a near Goromotaro for 18/19/3/1/2. While awesome, he took a lot of forced post shots that didn’t look fundamental at all, leading to his 6-16 FG. A little scary after his awful FG% early last year. Missed his first two FT, and had a ugly one towards the end, but sandwiched in between there was a 6-7 streak at the stripe. Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for FT%!
Paul Millsap – No steals or blocks, but his O looked great on some iso fadeaways for a 19/8/3 line on 7-15 shooting with a pair of treys.
Al Horford – Flashed that expanded 3PT game hitting a trey, and got 15-16’s first rainbow line! 15/4/4/2/3 on 6-11 shooting. By far the best Big Al in the NBA.
Kyle Korver – If only someone was constantly saying they were worried Korver would start slow! 7/2/1/1/0 in 29 minutes, hitting only 1-5 from deep. With two surgeries, “he’s more machine now, than man!”
Kent Bazemore – Well, that stream didn’t go so hot… 0/7/1/0/0 shooting 0-3, with an absurd 4 TO. Regarding the starting 5, I don’t know if he staysmore.
Hawks PG – Mmmmmmm Dennis Schroder looked goooooood. 25 minutes of 20/3/4/2/0 with only 1 TO and hit a pair of treys flashing a nice expanded range. Slashed with the efficiency of Sharon Stone with an ice pick. And while you can’t overreact to +/-, had a +4 to Jeff Teague‘s -23. Teague had an uncharacteristic 5 TO, but maybe the most interesting takeaway is they indeed played a few minutes together in the 4th. I’d add the German where I could in 12ers and he should be owned in all the RCLs after this performance/seeing a PG tandem.
Mike Muscala – Looked to have a bad ankle sprain, and is likely out a while. Before the injury, we didn’t see Mike Scott until late in the 2nd half. Scott looks completely out of the Hawks rotation, and I can think of 10.9 reasons why. I have a great sitcom idea, it’s a show called “Mike and Molly”! Wait, there’s one called that already…?
Lamar Patterson – I know almost nothing about this guy, and he was the biggest out-of-nowhere surprise for 18 minutes. Gets a star on the watch list for the 20-teamers…
Klay Thompson – Got into a little foul trouble, and got into A LOT of TO trouble. 3-8 FG, no treys, 9/4/3/1/1 with 7 TO. Hey, at least he hit the multicat in 26 minutes! Right up there with Brow for some buy lows. I know it sounds comical to you well-informed Razzballers, but people get panicky!
Andrew Bogut – Conked heads with Dante Cunningham, and with a mask to protect a broken nose, he broke his face. Bled all over the place, but nothing a few stitches won’t heal. Could miss the next Warriors outing, which would make Festus Ezeli a really interesting stream for the deep leagues. In his run off the bench last night, Ezeli looked reallllly good for 13/4/1/1/1 on 6-10 FG. Cunningham was looking awesome before exiting with a possible concussion, and might have to enter the concussion protocol. In 27 minutes, he was 13/2/0/0/0 with a couple of treys, but looked like he belonged on a starting line-up for a bad team.
James Michael McAdoo – Dropped him in REL due to Snell manning my IL spot (sorry RCL players that Yahoo abruptly switched their “INJ” and “Out” designations), and when he came into the game I was pretty mad. And then he did the weirdest role reversal ever, somehow hitting both his FT in only 2:31, but committing 2 TO and 4 fouls. Just plain odd for an awful FT-shooting post player. But for the deepest of deep daily leagues, no Bogut could open up some run. Although he got in before Jason Thompson, who was a DNP-CD. Very odd.
Ryan Anderson – I really thought he’d contribute more, but only got 29 minutes and 7 shots, on a team completely bereft of playmakers. As soon as Gentry decided to bench Jrue Holiday (not playing on back-to-backs, and got a late scratch to play tonight instead), he was pretty much conceding a win in this game. Way to throw your first game as NO head coach by giving it to your former team, Gentry! Crook.
NATE ROBINSON IS DEAD TO ME – Picked up two quick fouls, and then day-old Ish Smith went nuts. Honestly, Smith looked like the second best player on the floor next to Brow for the Pels for a lot of the night. That said, by the 4th quarter he had a few awful labradoodles. Literally doubled Robinson’s minutes playing a ridiculous 38 to his 19, and put up 17/2/9/3/0 with only 2 TO and hitting 1-2 from deep. What an awful rotation, and I’m having a crazy deja vu with a similar situation with the New Orleans PG last year. It wasn’t really, just that Jrue got hurt early, and in a complete 180, Brow was awesome on opening night. I had to fact check that. Anyway, I’m procrastinating the point – Nate, you’re awful! Took one shot, ONE, on a team that needs offense. Then he got two fouls and let Ish Smith, just off his final shift from the local grocery store, run away with the backup PG role. All this said, as TNT astutely reported during the broadcast (unlike saying multiple times that Brow was a 54% FT shooter), Smith is on his 9th NBA team in 5 years. Plus he couldn’t lock down the Sixers PG role with emphasis when given a shot last year. It’s all just an absolute mess; maybe in deep 14ers you give Ish a shot, and Nate only in the deepest of 20s to see what happens the rest of the week. I’m guessing Ish is first off the bench behind Jrue tonight.
GEORGE KARL IS DEAD TO ME – I don’t usually preview tonight’s games in the daily notes, but after I reported on the pod that Karl was pumping Willie Cauley-Stein as his starter, he’s now saying Kosta Koufos will start tonight due to the tough matchup on Blake Griffin. Whatever. DAMMIT CARL!
I hope everyone had a great opening night, but this evening is where it really counts! We’ve got a full slate to see how your full line-up plays out. But whatever happens, don’t overreact to one game. It’s a long season ahead! Happy 2015-16, Razzball Nation!
