LeBron James set the season’s scoring bar at 51 points against the Orlando Magic last night. And while he also grabbed 11 boards and doled out eight assists, I refuse to be impressed until he also makes balloon animals for the kids at halftime. And maybe that’s a bit stubborn of me. Perhaps a big ol’ cooler full of Haterade is being dumped on my head here, but you don’t understand. I predicted this guy was going to average 28/6/6 before the season started and he’s making me look quite the fool averaging 27/7/7. Man, I was way off! I’ve got a rep to protect, Bros (and six Brosephines!), I can’t just go around giving props to a guy who is clearly better than everyone else in the league. When Kevin Durant has a game like this, he makes it look hard. When Chris Paul has a game like this, he makes it look like a struggle. When James has a game like this, it looks so easy you get pissed at everytime he doesn’t score 50. A 22/8/9 game seems like he’s 3/4-assing it. I’m not even sure if it’s possible to 3/4-ass something, but if anyone can 3/4-ass something, it’s one full ass like LeBron James. Still, you’re not playing fantasy nice guy, (Tom Hanks is my first pick!) you’re playing fantasy basketball. Time to respect … some more.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball yesterday:
Ryan Anderson – Shot a cool 3-for-10. Not cool like pompadours and Beetle boots. Cool like wearing sweatpants to your first day as a high school freshman, which is to say – not cool. Still though, Anderson’s three made shots were all treys. That counts for something. Besides nine points, I mean.
Andrew Bogut – Missed his second straight game with a knee injury, which is not the injury I had in my Why Bogut Misses Games This Season office pool. I had the “rickets” and “mono” boxes. Anywho, he’s expected to return over the weekend.
Ersan Ilyasova – Snare Yo Saliva’s averaging 31 mpg in his last seven along with 16.7 ppg/6.9 rpg/1.7 spg and a .562 average from the floor. Slurp it up, snitches!
Carlos Delfino – The Delfino Line™ was 20/8/5, with five steals last night against the stat-floozy Warriors. His field goal percentage isn’t quite there yet, but his minutes are. Leagues deeper than 12 teams ought to have snapped him up three games ago.
Brandon Jennings – Cold shootin’ since return (8-of-32, .250). Although it’s hard to tell what’s rust and what is Jennings’ naturally atrocious shot selection, like deciphering John Mayer in a roomful of a-holes.
Luc Richard Mbah a Moute – 15/19/5, with two steals in 41 minutes. Get out your mechanical pencil (Dixon Ticonderogas are for chumps!) and a pad of paper and copy down this a Moute pro/con list along with me. Pro: He’s played 40+ minutes two games in a row. Con: … ‘Cause Bogut’s been injured those two games. Pro: This was the third best game of his career. Con: There’s almost no chance he approaches these numbers again this year. Pro: His face appears on the currency in Cameroon. Con: No, seriously. Bogut will probably be back Saturday. Con: You didn’t stram him last night. The cons have it!
John Salmons – Two games since returning from injury and he’s played a total 32 minutes and shot 2-for-12. If you still own him, bench him until he gives you a reason not to.
Stephen Curry – 16/5/5, with seven turnovers. I know the H2Hers scoff at TOVs, FT%, and low-brow Natalie Prtman rom-coms (probably), but 16/5/5 ain’t good enough to outweigh those tovs.
Richard Jefferson – 18 points, four threes. I don’t own Jefferson in any of my leagues and, frankly, I hadn’t been paying any attention to him. He’s scored 18 in two of his last three games. He’s not the worst 12+ team league option out there, though he might be the most boring. Honestly, are any of you Jefferson owners, happy to have him?
George Hill – After gearing up a bit in December, he took a half-step back in January and a full-step so far in February (9/2.5/1). This might not be Hill’s year, but something tells me San Antonio won’t look like this next year, which makes me think 2011 is Hill’s year. One of these years will be Hill’s year. Come Hill or highwater.
Andrew Bynum – Returned from injury. Ended with a line of 10/10/6, with three blocks. For him, that’s still injured. Get him in your lineups.
