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If you’ve made it this far, you are about to head into the championship match week, or perhaps your semi finals. Wait, whut? There are a smattering of leagues only starting their playoffs now?? Madness. In March. Hmmm… that’s catchy, should try to remember that one.

I digress. You gotta get your game-face on, your heart rate up! Go to your bathroom, turn up your volume,  and listen to some inspiring music while mean-mugging in the mirror, it’s go time! As for me, I acknowledge that if you are indeed in the big dance, you probably don’t need me too much. To paraphrase Vince Vaughn in Swingers: “My baby’s all growed up!!” That said, should you may have to replace an injured cat or two, may I suggest the following:

BUY:

Henry Sims C

I always have maintained that it is easier to mine stream-worthy talent on the bottom tier teams, because there is a much better chance for to a player to get a shot at earning minutes than the top tier teams, who already have established roles. Sims was buried behind Anderson Varejao, but now, with the Sixers, there’s basically no competition for minutes, and he has flourished. In his last 4 games he has averaged 15.5/10.2/3.25/.75/.75. Additionally, he’s only 20% owned. And the coup-de-gras, JB has endorsed him with his patented “two clownishly long thumbs up”, so what are you waiting for?

Jordan Hill PF, C

Laker-land. Another disaster; which means a fertile ground for harvesting a streamer. And Hill has been big -man productive since he’s returned from injury. In his 4 games since his return, he has averaged 18.5/12/0/.25/1.25. His FT% and FG% are also very attractive. His 36% ownership also makes him more than likely available. I will temper this by acknowledging that D’Antoni is prone to unpredictability, Chris Kaman may well become the flavour du jour next week in L.A., you have been advised.

Elton Brand PF, C

I may be reaching here, but as a streamer, Elton has potential. Pero Antic is out with an ankle injury, and the one game Elton has played was a near rainbow, going 11/12/2/1/1, with 50% FG%, and 100% FT% in 30 minutes, against a tough Blazers defence. If you’re scrambling, he’s only 11% owned, so he should be there for you.

Jeff Adrien SF, PF

Jeff is getting burn because Ersan Ilyasova is now out for the season. In his last 3 games, he’s gotten the minutes to rack up 11.6/6.6/1.6/.33/.66, getting production in all 5 categories. Not exactly sexy, but helpful, like a boy scout. Just the the helpful part. Never mind.

Ramon Sessions PG, SG

It can’t all be big men on this list, right? Fortunately, the streamers all had a meeting, and they nominated Ramon Sessions to be the guard’s representative, in part due to the fact that his name is possibly the best inadvertent Porn Star name of all time. But his production has been very good as well: In his past 5 games he’s averaged 20.8/4.6/5/.4/0, with a 3pt per. He’s only 35% owned, so you if you land him, you can compare creepy mustaches.

SELL:

Not going there, once again. You’ve made the playoffs, don’t look to me to tell you whom to drop, pull up your big boy pants!

That’s all there is, ladies and gents. May all your shots find be nothing but twine, and good luck!