Welcome one and all to the go-to place to hang out this NBA fantasy offseason! (Maybe?) True, it is a desolate place, so that’s why we’re going to liven things up a bit and start checking out all the trades that happened during the 2023 offseason, along with adding some of that fantasy spice for your content pleasure. Just the way your mother likes it. And as they say about spice, it must flow, so shall it flow! Regal, am I right? Spice is of course the fantasy content if you weren’t following or don’t enjoy Dune references. Regardless, while we’re not starting in any particular order, today we’ll be talking about the three-team trade that went something like this:
| Team 1 | Celtics Receive: | Team 2 | Wizards Receive: | Team 3 | Grizzlies Receive: |
| Boston Celtics | Kristaps Porzingis, Marcus Sasser (Pick No. 25), 2024 1st Round pick (GSW via MEM, Top 4 protected) | Washington Wizards | Tyus Jones, Danilo Gallinari, Mike Muscala, Julian Phillips (Pick No. 35) | Memphis Grizzlies | Marcus Smart |
A lot to unpack here, and while the regular NBA analysis has been covered ad nauseam, I would agree mostly with the macro analysis out there; basically, the Celtics will have to show how this will work on the floor and be aware of the risk, but this is Mazzulla’s machination (with Brad Steven’s backing) and it’s no secret he tilts towards offense, not defense. The most likely outcome is that the Celtics are still a very good team poised for a playoff push, and they have new, interesting matchups with one of the better stretch big-men out there. On the flip side, you have the Wizards in a true rebuild and the Grizzlies bringing in a veteran with talent on the defensive end, hopefully helping to solidify a young team on and off the court.
From a fantasy perspective, I’ve very neutral on Kristaps Porzingis. While I like him on the Celtics, after a fashion, health is always going to be a concern for a dude who looks like a tooth-pick giraffe. And coming off one of his best seasons where he averaged 23.2 points, 8.4 rebounds and 1.5 blocks per game, he’ll be hard pressed to match those numbers, especially running four or five next to Tatum and Brown. Something to note as well is that Porzingis can be quite the roller coaster sharpshooter, coming with both insanely great stretches (55.6 3P% in his last 10 games of the season) and completely lousy ones (24.6 3P% last December). The truth is, if you’ve rolled with him before, you know what to expect. If you haven’t, it’ll probably be flashes of last season, but slightly lower numbers across the board. Not a flame-out, more like a slight return to earth.
I’m not sure how much I should pay attention to the Wizards side… I do think Tyus Jones will be serviceable and be an okay tank commander. I could see interesting numbers all over the board for the Wizards in general, but don’t be surprised if Kuzma and Poole throw up 50 shots combined a night. I can’t tell if I’m 90% excited and 10% scared or 90% scared and 10% excited.
And of course, Marcus Smart going to the Grizzlies probably wasn’t on everyone’s radar, and despite the primary question of what the difficulty level is of turning green hair into uh, I’m not actually what shade of blue it’d be. I actually Googled it, and it’s between Beale Street blue and Memphis midnight blue, and now I regret wasting time Googling it. But at least I got to say Google. SEO Gods bless me. Anyways, after spending nine seasons in Boston, you kinda know what you’re going to get. Low double-digit scoring (132 straight appearances the last two seasons) at around 12 points a game, along with 5ish assists and 5ish rebounds and 1.5 steals. The 2021-22 Defensive player of the year should be the primary ball handler or at least share that with Desmond Bane until Ja Morant returns from his 25-game suspension for being a ridiculous idiot, which is something to keep in mind. Beyond that, I could see some numbers lower a bit for Smart, but nothing egregiously so. In fact, I could see his presence affect other players in unique ways, but of course that’ll be something to tackle further down the line.
Jay is a longtime Razzball everything who consumes an egregious amount of Makers Mark as a vehicle to gain wisdom and augment his natural glow. Living in the D.C. area, he also likes spending time visiting the local parks and feeding lettuce to any turtles he encounters, including Mitch McConnell.
