It’s easy to get lost in one’s own thoughts writing an unending stream of fantasy basketball foofaraw. Just yesterday I wrote a letter to EA Sports requesting they program Eva Longoria and Khloe Kardashian into the new NBA Jam Wii cheat codes so I can settle a bet with my buddy who would make the best player among all the NBA wives and girlfriends. “Khloe’s got the height and the box-out hips.” “No way! Eva would just run past her for the teardrop!” Dude, I’m pretty sure Sheldon Williams’ wife would cream both of them. Keep out of it, third voice! Okay, I fibbed. ‘My buddy’ was also me … as was ‘third voice.’

Anyway, sometimes it’s good to put a cork in your own thoughts and sip on someone else’s for a while. Razzball was invited to take part in a weekly roundtable discussion with a panel of other fantasy basketball writers from yonder blogosphere.

Ryan over at Lester’s Legends got the ball rolling with a question about LeBron James. My response is below, click here for the full post.

Q: How will LeBron’s taking his talents to South Beach affect his fantasy production?

A: A successful masseuse – above all else – should relax and comfort the client. Knock the knots out of their neck. Massage the Charley horses from wherever one gets Charley horses. In the end it’s about de-stressing. Attaining this lack of stress is usually a great thing … unless the client becomes so relaxed that they tear open a fart forceful enough to skip the exotic waterfalls CD playing quietly in the background. We’re all human. Chill farting is a part of nature, but it shouldn’t be a COMMON part of nature. These tranquilized toots are proof that too much relaxation can be problematic.

Miami is LeBron’s masseuse.  And while his change to South Beach is great for the Florida economy, club promoters, and Dwyane Wade’s nine empty ring fingers, it’s not great for the stats of the best player in the league.

Don’t misunderstand me; there are enough stats to go around on this team. On nights where Wade takes the wheel or Bosh or whomever, it’s more than possible LeBron will happily fill in the non-scoring parts of the stat sheet. That’s what makes him dangerous – he can do it. But realistically, this Heat team could blow out half the league this season and LeBron could watch those fourth quarters from the bench. The Cavs won 18 games last season by 15+ points, and this Heat team is better than that Cavs team. And although James averaged over 35 mpg in those 18 blowouts, Cleveland didn’t have two of the 10 best players in the league standing alongside him (according to everyone except Mo Williams). Then there’s the end of the season after a playoff spot is wrapped up. Will LeBron sit another four straight games? Or six? Or eight?

When he’s on the floor, he’ll be the best fantasy option possible. Easily. The problem is that with the army he’s got around him, he won’t need to be on the floor 36+ minutes per game. He’ll play relaxed, he’ll play breezy, but come fantasy playoff time or an easy string in Miami’s schedule, that relaxation could turn to gas in owners’ faces a few too many times.

  1. thepizzaman says:

    Blue Chips League needs 2 more players…also our commish may be MIA

  2. thepizzaman says:

    @thepizzaman: wait I think we’re filled nvm

  3. Tony says:

    have you/can you do a rookies preview…..?

  4. Dan says:

    Hey, I just stumbled upon your site! I like this… Got some keeper advice? Im in a 16 team H2H League. All I know is that FG% plays a gig part in the scoring. I have narrowed the list of candidates to 8

    PG Mo Williams
    SG Mayo
    SF Gallinari
    PF Love
    C B.Lopez
    C J.McGee
    F Beasley
    G Terrance Williams

    Any advice would be appreciated!

  5. Dan says:

    OOOPs… I ommited the fact that we can only keep 6 players…sorry

  6. Will says:

    Which side wins in this trade:

    Team A gets: Roy Hibbert, Emeka Okafor, Nicolas Batum

    Team B gets: Channing Frye, Marcus Thornton, Raymond Felton

  7. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Dan: Lopez, Gallinari, Love, Williams, McGee, Mayo in that order. Unless FG% is an abnormally weighted statistic in your league, then I might consider Beasley for Mayo – but probably not.

    @Will: I’d go Team B. Barely.

  8. Dan says:

    Thanks Adam! I will certainly recommend this site to others.

    Btw which Williams? MO or Terrance

  9. Adam

    Adam says:

    @Dan: Thanks! And Mo. Sorry.

  10. d2bnz says:

    “I know its only pre -season BUT”……time to move Roy Hibbert up to Quirky equals Quality

    Don’t procrastinate like Hamlet , draft “Boogie”

    KG tech’ed up in pre season ????……the intensity is wound up already.

  11. Adam

    Adam says:

    @d2bnz: I’m with you on Dr. Hibbert. I’m with on Cousins too, depending on WHEN you think he ought to be drafted. He’s still in a crowded rotation, with a 25 mpg limit and a penchant for fouls.

  12. d2bnz says:

    I just looked to see where Hibbert and Cousins went in the ‘white shadow league’ draft
    Hibbert drafted #91…..I would consider 30 spots earlier on current performance to be realistic without reaching. …….I already had B Lopez @17
    I was fortunate enough to pick up’ boogie’ at #113…..maybe a round earlier , would be fine , but no earlier than 90th pick . Sactown certainly seem to have two of the better young players as franchise cornerstones , shame that the franchise may not stay .

  13. Adam

    Adam says:

    @d2bnz: The Kings in 2010 will be what the Thunder were in 2009. Fun. Exciting. On television far too infrequently.

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