Another week done in the NBA world and the Philadelphia 76ers are still atop the East with a 16-6 record. The Bucks are in second at 13-8 followed by the Nets at 14-9 while the Celtics are at 11-9 with the Pacers and the Hawks who round off the top six at the time of writing. Teams like the Hornets and the Knicks continue to find themselves battling for those play-in spots and it is looking more and more likely that teams like these are legit while teams like the Heat, who just lost to the Wizards, may be pretenders. Maybe their finals run was just a flash in the pan. I am still not going to count them out, but it is looking increasingly tough for them this season as they just also lost Avery Bradley for 3-4 weeks due to a calf strain. The team I want to bring into the spotlight this week, though, is up north in Wisconsin. Those Milwaukee Bucks. 

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Who’s started 75% of the games for the Boston Celtics, has the 7th best true shooting percentage in the NBA, and makes your spell checker lose its mind? Why, it’s Daniel Theis! No, not this or that! Theis! It’s like going to a renaissance fair (faire for you Elizabethans) and watching Americans with bad British accents try to speak with flair and gesticulations before they start gnawing down turkey legs and swigging flagons of mead. How many flagons of mead did you have, Brayden? Theis? Is that a pronoun or a direction or a counter? None of the above! It’s the hybrid center you might want to consider for your fantasy basketball team. Let’s jump into the stats and see if this Theis tanks or thanks your team.

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When this life makes you mad enough to kill

That’s rock bottom.

When you want something bad enough to steal

That’s rock bottom.

When you feel you have had it up to here

Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear.

That’s rock bottom.

Slim Shady has come a long way from his first album when he was using his pen to escape the feelings associated with hitting rock bottom. It has been nothing but platinum status since 1999 for the Detroit wordsmith and miles away from where we find our feature player’s performance to date.

I am not sure what the complete opposite of a diamond plaque would be, maybe gravel? Pebble? Pellet? Who knows, but what is certain is that this player finds himself in the running for that unappealing designation.

We can talk about the Flintstones in length to offer up variant rock formations that best describe granule offerings this player has provided in fantasy. This player has cobbled together a disappointing season so far for his owners and it has been nothing but debris in his wake.

Presenting: RICKY RUBIO

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If you are curious about the title of the article, I divert your attention to the “Buy” entry about Cody Zeller. He is the Balding Mamba. He has always been the Balding Mamba. [Son’s note: There is only one Bald Mamba in the world, and that is Alex Caruso]

In the introduction, I want to touch on something totally different. Today’s NBA and the volatility of team rosters through trades makes it all the more difficult for cool player duos to develop together and have the narrative that they stay on the same team and help it grow to compete. The duo of DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry was one of the few exceptions in Toronto, where it was obvious that they enjoyed a great friendship off the court as well. DeRozan’s trade to the Spurs may have brought a championship to Toronto but it also split the dynamic duo. Regardless, DeRozan didn’t miss the chance to roast his old friend in the wake of Fred VanVleet breaking his record for most points scored by a Raptor.

It is always nice to see the human side of these superstars and to understand that many of them are ordinary people behind the veil of fame that comes naturally with the job.

Regarding last week’s suggestions, Wayne Ellington, unfortunately, cooled off a lot after his lights out performances from beyond the arc, Ivica Zubac and T.J.McConnell were both serviceable while Danilo Gallinari confirmed his spot as a “Sell” candidate that can even be dropped at this point.

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At this point in your fantasy season, you should be beginning to see how your team stacks up against the rest of your league. If you are in my position (the middle of the pack), you should (and everyone really should) be scouring the waiver wire for value, and also trying to make trades to shape the identity of your team. No matter the circumstances, I have continued to analyze the fantasy landscape for improvements and breakout performances. Here is another list of five players who should sustain their booming production for the rest of the season.

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The number 3 is considered a mystical and magical one by many because the Universe is predicated on it. There’s the Holy Trinity. Three little bears. Larry, Moe, and Curly. Past, present, and future. Birth, life, and death. Beginning, middle, and end. Menage a trois. Yummy. Outside of a circle, the minimum number of sides you need to create a pattern is three. Only a third person can break a tie to decide where to go eat. Last night, Fred VanVleet, who has three capital letters in his name and wears the number twenty-three, went H. A. M.

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In Brooklyn, the veterans always preferred DeAndre Jordan over him, even though he was better. Now in Cleveland, he’s forced into a timeshare with Andre Drummond and Larry Nance Jr. When will Allen get his due? According to leading armchair psychologists, it was all that pent-up frustration that led to this outburst. In contention for the line of the year so far.

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Well, probably not. The fire needs to be hot and it needs to be spit, and Delon Wright does neither. He also is not a rapper. Then again, neither is Dame D.O.L.L.A., but I think we allow from the amount of punctuation used. And you really don’t need Wright to be that… well, I’m not going to state that having a basketball player who twilights as a rapping dragon or a nostalgia-driven meme, depending on how meta you want to go with the joke, is a bad thing. So look, Delon doesn’t spit hot fire, he doesn’t spell or pronounce his name like D-y-l-a-n, but what he does bring are multi-categorical contributions (say that three times fast), and while many would point to the return of Derrick Rose as a death knell for both Wright’s minutes and overall production output, I’m not necessarily certain that’s true and I aim to think about this concept aloud. Join me after the jump?

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