Maybe I’m bad luck and every time I post there are a bunch of guys who get injured. Or maybe this season is just too whacky. Whatever the case may be, there was alot of players who didn’t play last night due to injuries or some other reason. Instead of listing them in the blurbs below, I’m going to list them right here. As a list. Except read it as if you were listening to We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Here’s the youtube link if you want to play along. I’ll put the injury in parentheses and how long they’ll be out, but ignore it for the song portion. Ready?! D-wight Howard (back, DTD), Tim Duncan (old, night off), Red China, Luke Ridnour (ankle, DTD), South Pacific, Kobe Bryant (shin, DTD), Nicolas Batum (quad, DTD).. Eric Gordon (back, DTD), Rodney Stuckey (knee, DTD), Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Darren Colli (slight pause) son (groin, DTD)….. C.J. Miles (calf, four games), H-Bomb, Jarrett Jack (ankle, Out for Season), Panmunjom, Nene (foot, DTD), “The King and I” and “The Catcher in the Rye”, Tony Parker (not old, night off), Vaccine, England’s got a new queen, Lamar Odom (inactivated for season), Tony Allen (mouth, DTD), Gin-o-bi-li (old, night off) goodbye…. (Chorus)… and here’s what else happened in the NBA last night:
George Hill - After scoring an impressive 0 points in 19 minutes off the bench against the Celtics on Saturday, Hill was rewarded with a spot in the starting lineup last night against the Raptors because Darren Collison couldn’t play. Naturally he co-led the team with 18 points, 7 rebs, 4 asts, 1 blk, and 1 3PM on 5-9 shooting (7-7 from the line). Stay away unless Collison’s injury turns out to be worse than expected.
Roy Hibbert - Supposedly the second best center in the East, Hibbert (2-5 shooting, 8 pts, 5 rebs, 3 asts, was dominated by the intimidating front court combination of Aaron Gray and Amir Johnson. It turns out he was emotionally distracted after watching Titanic (in 3D!) in theaters over the weekend. After the game he was caught sobbing to himself “There was enough room for Jack on that piece of wood, Rose. There was enough room you selfish *****.”
Tayshaun Prince - The only player on Detroit who was worth a damn last night. 21 points, 8 rebounds, 1 ast, 2 steals, and 1 3PM. Someone’s gotta shoot while Stuckey is out, right?
Corey Maggette - Healthy again (cross your fingers!) scoring 23 points in only 19 minutes during a blowout loss to the Wizards. Second blowout loss to the Wizards this year. Are there any Bobcat fans left?
Kevin Seraphin - 10/4/3/1/2. I’ll keep putting him in here until Nene, returns. Then I’ll put him back in here when Nene goes out again. Outside of Seraphin (when Nene is out), John Wall, and Jordan Crawford; I do not trust any other Wizard to be consistent.
Greivis Vasquez - With Jack now out for the season, Vasquez will be the starter. 18/0/11/2 with 5 3PM’s last night. Get him. NOW.
Eric Gordon - Out with back problems because he grew moobs while he was out so long. Okay fine, not really but he’s DTD and who knows what is gonna happen with him. Like I said last week, I’m at the point where I’d rather have someone else deal with him (especially in H2H). This is exactly what happened in my H2H league but I’m also furious that he’s not on my team. I can’t get no satisfaction (figured I’d add another song since the other one is probably over by now).
Randy Foye - Wasn’t feeling it tonight going 5-17 with 11 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 steal, and 1 3PM. Nick Young was worse (0-5) so there really isn’t a threat to Foye’s playing time while Mo Williams remains out.
O.J. Mayo - 13/2/4/1.2/.4 with 2.2 3PM over his last 5. Had a hiccup in one game, but that was because Gilbert Arenas scared the crap outta him.
Danilo Gallinari – The Return Part Deux: Rooster’s Revenge. Gallo was back in action last night logging 30 minutes in the starting lineup (15/5/6/0/1 with 2 3PM). With Wilson Chandler still out, there is no threat for playing time so start him with confidence.
Kenneth Faried - Obliterated the Warriors with a line of 27/17/1/2 in only 24 minutes. Don’t get too excited as he had a very George Hill-like 1 pt and 4 rebounds the game before. Still worth rolling the dice if you got room, given the upside.
Al Harrington - Has a meniscus tear. He’ll try to play through it and I hope he takes tips from Marcus Camby on how to play throw an injury.
Jared Dudley - A very dud-like (pun-intended, obv.) 4/3/3 in 23 minutes. Well that’s two craptastic games in a row so if he puts up another one it might be time to flush him down the toilet.
Anthony Randolph - 5 minutes, 1 steal and that’s it. I think I drafted him in the 7th round two years ago when he was going to break out.
J.J. Barea - Reaping the benefits of the injuries to Luke Ridnour and Ricky Rubio. OK so 16/3/5/1 with 2 3PM isn’t exactly reaping, but you’ll take it.
Patrick Mills, Boris Diaw, Dejuan Blair, Daniel Green, and Stephen Jackson - Your starting lineup for the Spurs last night! It was kinda awkward when Jazz Coach Tywin Corbin handed Gregg Popovich a check during the post-game handshake. It was even more awkward when Pop said “F*** Dallas“.
Devin Harris - 25/6/6/1/1 with 3 3PM against the short-handed spurs (although Harris has scored 18 or more in his past 3 games). When 2012 Devin Harris returns from vacation and runs into 2008 Devin Harris, I hope they don’t disrupt the space-time continuum.
Kyle Lowry - 23 minutes off the bench while putting up a line of 13/4/3/2 with 1 3PM. Not sure how the PG situation is gonna shakeout with Goran Dragic playing like Kyle Lowry before the bacterial infection. Maybe they’ll merge like two super saiyans. More likely Lowry will take over when he’s back at full steam but with Dragic playing more minutes off the bench than before.