I’ve never been that bothered by snakes. Now I never went out of my way to play with them or anything (except my own – bada bing!), but never ran the other way either except when I was in New Mexico when I was like 7. When I was working on my parents mountain house when I was in high school, there was a snake under the scrap heap I was clearing and I killed that little bitch with a shovel. If that doesn’t boost your testosterone, then I guess you need to contact Tony Bosch at Biogenesis. The resident snake of the NBA (in name only – easy Laker fans), Kobe Bryant, the Black Mamba himself, went down hard after twisting his ankle last night, and blames Dahntay Jones for intentionally crowding him. I thought snakes didn’t have ankles? Well, this injury after sliding into 8th place in the West just puts the icing on the cake of the Lakers ridiculous season. Right now the prognosis is “out indefinitely.” About all you can do is make your sacrifices to the fantasy gods and cross your fingers. One thing Kobe has going for him is that he is resilient to injury and can heal quickly. He’s kinda like the Derek Jeter of the NBA. And Jeter never had any ankle issues…. I could see Bryant back sooner rather than later, but stay tuned.
Here’s what else went down in fantasy basketball:
Andrea Bargnani - Out for the season with “whacker’s elbow.” OK I made that up. Something called an avulsion sprain. Whatever you say, Raptors docs.
Carmelo Anthony - Mo’ injuries, mo’ problems. Flying to New York to get his knee drained. That doesn’t sound appealing. I bet he misses a game or two again.
Tyson Chandler - It’s not ALL bad for Knicks fans, as Chandler shouldn’t miss any action after bumping knees with Corey Brewer. Whew.
LeBron James - Must be an avid reader of Razzball, as I goaded him into putting up elite numbers again going 27-7-8-2-1. Heat win their 20th straight. Sorry Cleveland.
Dorell Wright - Isn’t going to go off, but another multi 3-pointer effort and double-digit scoring night going 5-12 FG (3-6 3PTM) 2 Rebs 2 Asts 3 Stls and 1 Blk. For a scrub spot start, you could do a lot worse and he should be owned in deeper leagues.
John Wall - Saving his best games for the end of the season, just like mama likes it, going 10-19 FG 23 Pts 6 Rebs 10 Asts and 4 Stls. Owners who had him in their stash now has a Tony Montana-sized mound of fantasy love.
Trevor Ariza - All signs pointed to him missing last night’s game, but Ariza played 30 minutes and went 14-2-3 with 3 three-pointers. If someone cut him see if you can snatch him back up in deeper leagues.
Martell Webster - Hit 4 threes last night for 20 points. Has 4+ threes in the last three games. So many threes.
Pau Gasol - Reports are coming out he thinks he can be back next week. The timing couldn’t be better especially if Kobe misses significant time. Gasol used to be a major scorer and I could see some nice games if he is indeed healed up. Worth a stash if you have an IR spot or have a bye week and have a fringe ownable guy at the bottom of your roster. If you need the minutes, I wouldn’t drop someone that’ll help you advance if you have a tough week 1 of the playoffs matchup.
Roy Hibbert - Scored a season-high 27 points last night to go along with 12 boards and 4 blocks. I mean, who wouldn’t have a good game with Greg Stiemsma the opposing starting center?
Jonas Valanciunas - No more Bargnani means buckets of minutes for the Spell Check. Yeah, that’s my new nickname for him. Went 4-7 FG 9 Pts 7 Rebs and no other stats in 34 minutes. Still I think he’s worth an add if you need a big man.
Devin Harris - With Jeff Teague missing the first game of his career, Harris got the start and went 17-3-7. Teague should be back for the Hawks next game, so I wouldn’t go after Harris unless I had easy roster space.
Donatas Motiejunas - Led the Rockets in scoring with 19. Say whaaaa? The Rockets crushed the Suns by 30, so I think they just gave the other human spell check a few extra shots.
Derrick Favors - Did his best Javale McGee impression with 5 blocks in 22 minutes. I watched this game last night, and a few of those blocks were pretty unreal. If Favors can refine his game and get consistent minutes, he will be a big sleeper next year.
Nate Robinson - 7-9 for 19 Pts last night. Ugh. I am not a Robinson fan, but until we see Hinrich back, I guess he has value…
Tyreke Evans - Playing like it’s his rookie season again. Has scored 20+ in the last three and went 11-13 FG 26 Pts 5 Rebs 7 Asts 3 Stls and 1 Blk. Roto-monstah!
Iman Shumpert - Led the inept Knicks in scoring, putting up 20 Pts on 8-10 shooting (4-5 from 3). Did you see our Facebook post? Glad our graphics dept. liked my idea
Wilson Chandler - Turns our Chandler had the big game against his former team, not Carmelo. In 32 minutes off the bench, Chandler went bonkers going 24-4 with 3 steals. Come to Denver more often, Knicks!
Jamal Crawford - 1-10 in his first game back. Yikes.
Raymond Felton - As a Felton owner and all these Knicks injuries, if he doesn’t score 20 the next game out I will be upset.
Jarrett Jack - Been fading lately, but scored the most he has in 10 games putting up 19. Was about to start crying if he didn’t have any more good games. Wahhhhhh, I’m Jarrett Jack!
Andrew Bogut - Is doing it all except scoring. 7-10-4-2-3 for a delicious rainbow line last night (at least 2 Pts, Rebs, Asts, Stls and Blks – I promise I’ll have a new glossary up soon!). If he’s available in your league, snatch him up.
Rodney Stuckey/Will Bynum - With Brandon Knight out, both guards had solid games. Definitely would rather have Stuckey, but Bynum could be worth spot starts while Knight is out.
Next Game: I’ve got TNT Overtime highlights for Mavericks @ Spurs tonight. Go to TNT Overtime online where you can stream the game for free and you’ll see the highlights on the timeline that I make. With the Jazz collapsing and Kobe likely to miss at least a few games, the Mavs have a shot at the playoffs. As always shoot your comments below, good luck as playoffs are approaching!