Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“1,000, 1,001, 1,002, 1,003. Wow, I can hardly lift my left arm I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me, but I did over 1,000.” Maybe should’ve stopped at like 40! Kyrie Irving strained his left biceps a couple weeks ago, sending owners into a furious frenzy of wire replacements. And one of the most fun times of the year (although you could argue most frustrating) is when the fringe or struggling playoff teams make drastic moves. Well, I would argue dropping Kyrie when news hit wasn’t a drastic move, but I think you all know what I’m saying in H2H leagues. After a very positive reevaluation, Uncle Drew was cleared for practice yesterday and could return as soon as tomorrow. Talk about positivity! While the game tomorrow against the Magic seems questionable, there still is cloudy uncertainty. Both that game and the Cavs next on Friday at the Hawks are on very busy, heavily-scheduled days. Of course when healthy, Kyrie is a no-brainer, but I’d imagine his first game back comes with a little bit of training wheels. So if you’re in your final week in your title hopes, I’m not seeing an immediacy in picking him up. But if your finals are next week, or a two-week final, go ahead and Cry Uncle. Wait, that doesn’t mean what I was hoping. Go ahead and pry Uncle? Eh… In Roto, hopefully you held Kyrie as that’s what I would’ve done. Looking ahead to next week, it’s sadly only three games for the Cavs, but stay positive! One against Detroit and another against da Bucks. Gotta like those. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, was last night fun! So much to hit on including a certain player going against his former team, but I want to start with two career-first triple doubles. On the same night! And on a night with only five games no less… First stop is Isaiah Thomas, who, and I mean this without sounding like I’m succumbing to a cliche about his size or anything, looked like the only dude who cared for the whole game on either the Wiz or the Kings. I loved me some IT2 with the rankings before free agency, and really pimped him hard when Greivis Vasquez got sent off – as many sources did. Regardless, everyone was right, he’s been a beast and went 24/11/10 with 10-10 FT and two treys. And to top off the abuse of John Wall, Wall was 2-6 at the stripe missing pivotal freebies late. My Wizards friend stopped texting me at the end. I’m guessing he threw his phone through a Wall. I capitalize that because he has a John Wall fathead on his wall. Anyway, Paul Millsap also hopped in the trip-dub booze cruise for a 19/13/10 line. Hopefully your fantasy teams own one or both of these guys and faced neither. Nothing would be more annoying than marginally losing Rebs to an IT2 owner! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action (and don’t forget to fill out a bracket in our Razzball March Madness pool!):Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohhhhh, fringe-fantasy worthy Duke players… I’m not a fan! Belle Knox isn’t a fan! Is she fringe-fantasy worth? Plausibly. Whilst you search her in Incognito mode, Kyle Singer went all multi-cat in a near-rainbow explosion for 11/7/3/5/1. He even stole DeMarcus Cousins‘ parking spot! Fight, fight! While I’m not necessarily the biggest Singler fan (which I’m sure you can ascertain by the title and if you’ve read all year), he does have something going for him that all Lakers and Bucks would give their left nut for. Consistent minutes. After the All-Star break, Singler is averaging 34 minutes a game. And hey, he needs every single[r] one of them to stay fantasy relevant. Burn! But relevant indeed, as his slash in that time is 11.7/3.1/1.6/1.1/0.6. Not setting the world on fire, but for your fringe-guys – especially in weekly leagues – giving you a little of something is better than a lot of nothing. Award winning advice right there! Along with the multi-cat, is at 1.5 treys and 82% FT shooting since the break. Dibbling in this, dabbling in that, and next thing you know he’s someone you trust more than, I dunno, maybe even Brandon Jennings who couldn’t find the hole last night. “Tie in a joke from the beginning, tie in a joke from the beginning!” Shut up 13-year-old inner monologue! Here’s what else I saw in NBA action from last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, you’re not accidentally on baseball and we’re not reviewing Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle’s little HBO romp. Wait, why does LeBron James get an asterisk then?! I think the mask is helping him. It’s like the Jim Carrey movie. Without it he’s a nothing out there – - dammit, metaphors and parallels just aren’t working today! Unless the improbable scenario in which you pounded em hard at happy hour, passed out before tipoffs last night, stumbled to your computer when you awoke this morning, and Razzball Basketball is your first NBA news choice, then you probably saw what BronBron did last night. I for one fully endorse the aforementioned scenario, see you at happy hour after work! LeBron went bob-bonkers on the bob-Bobcats for 61 points shooting 22-33, 8-10 from deep, and 9-12 from the stripe. Chipped in 7 boards and 5 dimes on top of it. The gap Kevin Durant had over King James is slowly deteriorating as MaskBron is taking over Gotham City. Now, it did help that there was no Dwyane Wade (not that it would’ve made that much of a difference), but KD is still your numero uno. Twin towers! I bet 50% of fantasy H2H title matchups will pit LeBron vs. KD. Fantasy basketball is too top heavy followed by a bunch of bastard children. It’s turning into Shawn Kemp! Zing! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
- – do this anymore!!!! And that’s appropriate too because when you run out of the Air Canada Centre, it turns from solid ground to ice! Both Kyle Lowry and Terrence Ross won’t be frantically chasing down kids any time soon with ankle injuries last night. Lowry still finished out the OTs, but coach Casey said it was a bad booboo. He’s had a ton of injury problems through his career, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he misses at least a couple. We’ll see after it gets re-evaluated today. Then Ross’ sounds worse, happening in the 2nd quarter and he wasn’t able to get back in. Ross can’t! Stepped on a foot and it rolled. Those are never fun. Did shoot his freebies and walk off under his own power, so there’s that. In shallow leagues, if Ross was giving you some points you sorely needed you can hold out maybe a game, but he’s probably streamable. The main takeaway is Greivis Vasquez chose the perfect game to get hot, scoring a season-high 26 for a 26/2/8/2/0 line with 4 treys which is muy bueno. Did have 6 TOs which is muy mal. With the Raptors possibly missing both Lowry and Ross Sunday against Golden State, un opporunidad is there for Vasquez to have a major stream-tastic outing. You can sneak in Pts/3s/Asts/Stls and when you win, you’re opponent is gonna be like, “clever girl!” Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And we’re back baby! The All-Star break in Nawleans has come and gone, with a disappointing dunk contest, no bounce passes in the skills contest (yeah, what was up with that Prez?!) and All-Star jerseys that made the finale look like an adult rec league game on a Thursday night. “Help, I think Stanley has a hernia!” I was constantly thinking to myself about the Major League quote, but the opposite. Brian Scalabrine or Matt Bonner coming into their first practice with sleeves and a hat on, and their coaches were like, “We don’t wear caps and sleeves at this level son!” Sure made that coach look stupid on Sunday night! And if you’re a Cleveland fan, you’ve got to be thinking, “Crikey wtf is going on!?” after seeing Kyrie Irving and Dion Waiters go off in their respective ASB games over the weekend. Then to see neither of them do anything against the 76ers last night! To be fair, the Cavs let their scrubs do all their damage in a blowout. So I guess if Cavs are thinking crikey, Philly fans are thinking, “if we don’t win 20 games this year, I’m giving up cheesesteaks!” Drastic? Probably. Be liking asking me to give up that delicious BBQ. Now I’m all sorts of hungry… How did this get into food? Let’s just dive right in to last night’s return to action, like how you’d dive into an all-you-can-eat Southern food buffet with mac & cheese, hush puppies, chopped BBQ, whole BBQ, biscuits & gravy, and then, and then…:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Glen Davis went to the pre-season Magic weigh-in, the trainer was like, “355 Big Baby, really?” “These hips don’t lie!” And in a very full slate of games last night, we had two pretty premiere big men have their hips not lie and go out on them. “Help I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” The NBA to start issuing players life alerts to wear around their necks. DeMarcus Cousins was the first to succumb to the AARP ailment. Suffered a left hip flexor, but coach Mike Malone said it probably wasn’t serious. Destiny is like, “wait a ‘left’ hip? I thought, like, for people we had only one hip!” No child left behind fails us yet again. Good thing it’s the All-Star break for Boogie! An All-Star Boogie! Dude, that should totally be an event. Breakdance Horse! Hah. Then Derrick Favors went out and re-aggravated his right hip that had caused him to miss games here and there over the past month. This one is a lot less bueno. But hey, DeMarcus and Derrick have a pair of healthy hips! If only they were siamese twins – they’d get, like, 35 rebounds a game. Favors will likely get an MRI and be brought along very slowly since this is a re-aggravation. Enes Kanter to the rescue! Might get some solid run and deserves love in a lot of leagues. And don’t sleep on Rudy Gobert in deep leagues if you need some blockage. Speaking of blockage, look at some of the traffic photos of NC from yesterday. No one learned from Atlanta! And the best basketball game on the slate, UNC-Duke, cancelled. Travesty. Let’s get this global warming going again! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Deer in the headlights”. Makes sense for this team! And it starts with the pack leader Mr. Larry Drew, who we’ve slammed on ad nauseam here on Razzball hoops. But to rub salt on the wound, or in Milwaukee’s case I guess it would be to leave out a salt lick, both fantasy relevant Bucks bigs are hurt. Larry Sanders – who was first reported to just having blurry vision after being poked in the eye – actually has a fractured orbital bone. Could this have actually happened later that night at a Milwaukee nightclub receiving a right hook from a bouncer? Maybe! I’m just excited to see Sanders in rec specs. All he’ll need to do now is grow a goatee and dye it white and he really will be Colonel Sanders! Then to top it off, John Henson rolled his ankle last night landing on Zaza Pachulia‘s foot. Zaza was like, “Henson, is this your ankle? It struck my foot!” No updates on the severity, but we saw how long they waited to bring him back from that wrist injury so I’m a little sceered. For Sanders, I’d try and wait until he sees the specialist today to tell him how jacked up his eye socket is. It’s been suggested it could be 1-6 weeks, so if indeed closer to the full 6 weeks and you’re barely hangin’ by a thread I think you have to cut him loose. Tough to take a 0 the last weeks before the playoffs. Henson is another wait and see, but I doubt it will be nearly that long. But in both cases, if you’re in H2H and really needing a win this week, I couldn’t fault losing either in a All-Star Weekend shortened matchup. An extra start means even that much more in a week like this one. Sure someone will probably scoop up your Bucks roadkill to cook into their Chinese Food, but hey, at least it’s not in your dinner. Zaza is worth a look himself as a streamer in the interim. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, this is the peril you get playing in other countries… After a generator next to the stadium in Mexico City failed, last night’s Spurs at [hah] Timberwolves got postponed after the stadium filled with smoke. It looked like Mexico City’s skyline of smog in there! Man, so many people are going to get fired over this. “Who let their 5 year olds with squirt guns play next to the exposed wires?!” All the sudden the NBA is looking like the MLB… I haven’t seen a PPD since September! Brutal break for Spurs and Wolves owners in H2H formats as the reschedule is sure to be a while down the road. Usually I like H2H for hoops because you don’t get rocked when your team has bad weather (vs. H2H Fantasy Baseball which I loathe), but now you have to think about generator fires when playing in other countries! Well, I guess except Canada… They better have their shizz in order! Breaking News! The Raptors stadium has a Rob Ford crack den hidden within the locker room that caught fire, and they’re relocating to become the Reno Lt. Dangles. Go Reno! Here’s what else happened last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?