I don’t know today’s title has a Boston accent, just sorta happened!  Tyreke Evans absolutely tore up the Thunder last night, slashing-n-gashing his way to a 41/9/8/3/0 line with only one turnover.  I don’t know what’s crazier, that line or a Pelicans win!  That starting NO line-up other than Evans was scrub city.  If you followed the news leading up to this game, it went from Evans being unlikely to play a mere hour-and-a-half before tip, to getting the start right before the game started.  The emotional toil on fantasy owners was bigger than in Silver Linings Playbook!  Since the All-Star Break, right around when the Pels finally decided to start this guy, Evans has been a monster averaging 17.1/5.4/6.1.  He’s also boosted his FG% and actually made a three or two, despite a 3PT% even Josh Smith thinks is poopy.  But despite a big second half, the Pelicans owner isn’t too impressed.  Haha, that was hilarious – I made highlights for this game if you couldn’t tell.  Been a lucky run for my games the past two, getting this one and the Corey Brewer one Friday!  Almost 100 points from those two!  Hopefully the Pelicans realize they need Evans as a starter in 14-15, but it’s tough to see another stretch with 6+ dimes next year with a healthy Jrue Holiday.  If the price is right, I’ll be a buyer next season, however Evans seems to always have a little more hype than substance ever since his rookie year.  If this second half inflates some big buzz next year, I’ll be about as deadpan as the Pelicans owner!  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been a year long punching bag.  Larry Drew sucks, he has no idea how to grow a young team, and because he plays guys different minutes every night the Bucks are atrocious and have no cohesion.  But that’s nothing new, as he was awarded the first Razzball Worst NBA Coach Razzie.  It’d be a wonder if he could do anything right!  Yesterday, I said Ramon Sessions might be the best player on that team (and he got a ridiculous 20 minutes to show for it Sunday), and Larry Screw actually paid attention to my advice!  Sessions started last night against the Clips, played 44 minutes, making the most of it.  Shot a ridiculous 13-21 (2-3 3PTM) for 28/6/7.  While this game was nice, and I maintain he’s probably the best fantasy asset on the Bucks right now, he’s not necessarily the best pickup.  The Bucks have only two more games this week, Thursday against the Lakers (which you obviously love) then Sunday against the Heat (not so much).  Plus it’s the Bucks and we all know how Larry Screwballs can jack things up.  I picked him up in one league just to lock down that Thursday game since it’s a light slate with only four games.  If you can afford to do that, Sessions is your man.  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The injury bug hath claimed another victim, with LaMarcus Aldridge suffering a tough fall in San Antonio on his lower back/coccyx.  What are you doing to us fantasy gods?!  While reports right now is it was only a lower back contusion, you never want to hear “needed a wheelchair to get around the arena.”  Unless you’re Professor X!  Yikes.  As Slim is putting out early this afternoon, the Blazers have a mammoth of a 5-week slate coming up in the second week of the playoffs.  So if you’re an Aldridge owner, I would just thank my blessings, or count my lucky stars, or something like that, if L.A. can indeed give you all five of those.  In the immediacy, Thomas Robinson looks like an interesting pickup for some flashy upside.  “Oh camon JB, Thomas Robinson again!?”  Yup!  And I said it last time and he had a 14/18/2/0/2 in there!  I serious doubt Aldridge will suit up again this week, giving T-Rob some serious run.  We’ll obviously get some more detailed updates throughout the day, so sacrifice a shot of rum to Jobu, or rub your bunions against the carpet, whatever you do to appease the fantasy gods to get a healthy Aldridge back for the postseason.  Here’s what else went down in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wait, what?!  Kobe Bryant is back?!  I mean, the Lakers beat the Thunder, and someone dropped 42 for purple and gold… I can think of no other scenario.  But as the verse goes, “Blessed are the Meeks!” Dropping 42 on OKC, Jodie Meeks hit a career-high with his typical Meeks game of treys and steals.  “He was hittin’ em from downtown like a mad scientist!”  I dunno, I was trying to come up with a good segway into Cosmos from last night, but got nothing.  “Went all deGrasse Tyson on the Thundah!”  “Gettin’ all cosmic on dem mfers!” The Lakers beating OKC definitely broke Vegas’ space time continuum.  Plus winning with 36 boards to 59?  Crazy town.  We’ve liked Meeks a lot over here in Razzball Nation, and somehow he’s still at only 58% owned in Yahoo.  I demand an Inquisition on this matter!  Even though he’s close to a ThrAGNOF, the 1.3 Stls a game, fairly high-volume 84% FT shooting, and just overall upside on such a crappy team make him an obvious must own.  Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yup, bringing that back!  Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest.  Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes.  Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line.  This is what I envisioned all season!  I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year.  It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners.  If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship.  So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home.  “Thanks Mrs. H…”  My name is JB!  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No, you’re not accidentally on baseball and we’re not reviewing Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle’s little HBO romp. Wait, why does LeBron James get an asterisk then?!  I think the mask is helping him.  It’s like the Jim Carrey movie.  Without it he’s a nothing out there – -  dammit, metaphors and parallels just aren’t working today!  Unless the improbable scenario in which you pounded em hard at happy hour, passed out before tipoffs last night, stumbled to your computer when you awoke this morning, and Razzball Basketball is your first NBA news choice, then you probably saw what BronBron did last night.  I for one fully endorse the aforementioned scenario, see you at happy hour after work!  LeBron went bob-bonkers on the bob-Bobcats for 61 points shooting 22-33, 8-10 from deep, and 9-12 from the stripe.  Chipped in 7 boards and 5 dimes on top of it.  The gap Kevin Durant had over King James is slowly deteriorating as MaskBron is taking over Gotham City.  Now, it did help that there was no Dwyane Wade (not that it would’ve made that much of a difference), but KD is still your numero uno.  Twin towers!  I bet 50% of fantasy H2H title matchups will pit LeBron vs. KD.  Fantasy basketball is too top heavy followed by a bunch of bastard children.  It’s turning into Shawn Kemp!  Zing!  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning.  And snuck in the end!  I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars.  “Wait, why is he winning best picture!  So confused right now…”  Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win…  And that’s a problem!  Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week.  But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too!  After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO.  I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO.  BOOM!  Double sports joke.  The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played.  Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add.  So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music.  And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh man!  So many places to go with a title like that… Last night we had two virtually 100%-owned big men step back on the hardwood in Derrick Favors and Andrew Bogut.  Let’s start first with Aussie Aussie Aussie who had his typical Oi Oi Oi multi-cat line for 4/7/4/1/1.  Played 29 minutes which is very encouraging, but did foul out.  The big man fouls were rough in this one!  Both starting 4/5s combined for 10 fouls in Golden State at Detroit.  Mark Jackson pre-game must’ve been like, “pretend you’re all Artest and the Pistons just threw a beer on you!”  I remain high on Bogut for his multi-cat walkabouts.  Then to Favors – who had been doing fantasy owners no Favors with his bum hip – but lit it up in his return last night for 8-9 FG (4-4 FT) 20/4/1/0/3 in 29 you-couldn’t-ask-for-better minutes.  Hopefully his hip can hold up the rest of the season!  And hopefully he doesn’t Favor too much on the other one.  Womp womp.  Worst joke of the year!  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Deer in the headlights”.  Makes sense for this team!  And it starts with the pack leader Mr. Larry Drew, who we’ve slammed on ad nauseam here on Razzball hoops.  But to rub salt on the wound, or in Milwaukee’s case I guess it would be to leave out a salt lick, both fantasy relevant Bucks bigs are hurt.  Larry Sanders – who was first reported to just having blurry vision after being poked in the eye – actually has a fractured orbital bone.  Could this have actually happened later that night at a Milwaukee nightclub receiving a right hook from a bouncer?  Maybe!  I’m just excited to see Sanders in rec specs.  All he’ll need to do now is grow a goatee and dye it white and he really will be Colonel Sanders!  Then to top it off, John Henson rolled his ankle last night landing on Zaza Pachulia‘s foot.  Zaza was like, “Henson, is this your ankle?  It struck my foot!”  No updates on the severity, but we saw how long they waited to bring him back from that wrist injury so I’m a little sceered.  For Sanders, I’d try and wait until he sees the specialist today to tell him how jacked up his eye socket is.  It’s been suggested it could be 1-6 weeks, so if indeed closer to the full 6 weeks and you’re barely hangin’ by a thread I think you have to cut him loose.   Tough to take a 0 the last weeks before the playoffs. Henson is another wait and see, but I doubt it will be nearly that long.  But in both cases, if you’re in H2H and really needing a win this week, I couldn’t fault losing either in a All-Star Weekend shortened matchup.  An extra start means even that much more in a week like this one.  Sure someone will probably scoop up your Bucks roadkill to cook into their Chinese Food, but hey, at least it’s not in your dinner.  Zaza is worth a look himself as a streamer in the interim.  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So imagine you’re heading into fantasy hoops last night, wondering what the headline would be.  You knock on the mansion’s door and Tim Curry is standing there all snippity-proper.  You say, “Hey, Timmy, someone is gonna kill it tonight!”  Could it be, Colonel Larry Sanders Mustard?  Nope!  His vision is too blurred to be the culprit.  And no, it’s not because he topped off his third bottle of Cristal just to have another blunt weapon, it’s because he got poked in the eye!  Could it be Reverend Jeff Green?  No way, he had his big night a few games ago, we all know it’ll be at least another two weeks until another good one!  So it’s surprise suspect #3, Professor Mason Plumlee, who went all Krzyzewki on the Pelicans leading the Nets in Pts Rebs Stls and Blks for a 22/13/0/3/2 line.  Shot 8-10, 6-9 from the stripe, and made Anthony Davis lose a wee bit of hair on his Brow.  “I’m supposed to be the high-flying big man in this game, Mason!”  The crowd wasn’t chanting MVP for ya in this one!  Awww, that’s mean.  After playing under 12 minutes the previous two, Plumlee got 28+ in the past two games and productive in both.  Keep Kevin Garnett at 13 minutes a game, Kidd!  I think a good way to approach Plumlee right now is like James Johnson.  Puts up solid stats all around (although a little less all-around than JJ) when he gets the minutes.  I think he’s gotten himself to fringe 12-team worthy depending on your roster comp.  Definitely needs to get scooped up in deeper.  I think enough minutes will be there for him to fill in some Pts/Rebs/Blks.  Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops:

Please, blog, may I have some more?