(Today’s post title is for all you connoisseurs of niche comedians from the ’80s.) Stephen Jackson is hobbled, but played anyway. If you have another option, go with it, because Jackson ran up and down the court last night like Pacino at the end of ‘Dick Tracy.’ (Deep cut!) The word out of Northc’alina is that if the Bobcats lost to the Pacers (effectively wiping away their playoff hopes), Stack Jacks would be shut down for the season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know Toney Douglas and his nine threes deserves to kickoff today’s daily notes, but sometime early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls-Nets game, today’s headline came to me and I jumped on it. I’m not sure you guys realize a) how few things sound like Douglas or b) how difficult it is to come up with terrible puns five days a week.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Richardson stepped out of his Delorean in a Phoenix uniform and dropped 24 points on 9-for-14 shooting (six threes). Dude hasn’t cleared 20 points since January 15 and hasn’t scored 24 since December 15. S’what happens when you go from being a team’s no.1 offensive option to another team’s no.4 offensive option.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Durant may miss a couple games after snapping his balsa wood ankles. I’m not sure what the big worry is here with his ankles, this stuff happens to Derek Fisher, like, twice a game. That joke was lifted directly from “Tosh.0,” but I’m tired and I didn’t want to make another joke about James Harden‘s greasy beard.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This time of the year is always bittersweet. Shuffling up the collective deck of players and dealing them all over the NBA map is fun and exciting, like the time you see your first boob up close. You’ve spent a lot of time imagining it, then – poof – it’s there right in front of you and you have no idea what to do.Please, blog, may I have some more?
By now you, you’re undoubtedly getting fat off the meat of yesterday’s trades. You’ve unbuttoned your trousers, leaned back hard in your chair, farted a little (admit it, you did), listened to Grandma asking if you’ve heard about “Carmen Anthony,” all while digesting that which went down and that which still might might go down in the waning moments of the trade deadline.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wanted to call this Earl Watson-centered intro Earl, You’ll Be A Go, Man Soon, but two things happened: 1) people stopped listening to Urge Overkill, like, a decade ago, 2) Watson is already a go, and I fear that soon, he’ll no longer be a go.Please, blog, may I have some more?
A couple weeks back I pointed out that the Hornets were 4-0 this season when Marcus Thornton sees at least 22 minutes of pee-tee. Well, last night he saw a season-high 32 minutes and NOLA beat Orlando in overtime. Booyahkasha! It shouldn’t be this difficult.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The big news from the weekend is that Glen Davis damn near triple-doubled on Sunday against the Raptors. Wait, that was the XXL news from the weekend. Sorry. I keep my news sizes as confusing as movie theater popcorn sizes. Wait, the medium is the smallest size you can order?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andray Blatche does not pronounce his name like Andre. Or even Andrei. It looks like that’s the pronunciation his mother was going for there. Like Toney Douglas. Or Corey Maggette. But, no. This is a whole new proper noun.Please, blog, may I have some more?