In Shaq-ramento, when Christmas carolers sing at your doorstep, if it’s deck the halls you must insist a free a Rudy Gay jersey! You better believe Sleep Train Arena is gonna deck their halls with Gay apparel. That is, if it has power. Zing! Last night, the Kings picked up Gay from the Raptors in a 7-player deal with a lot more fantasy impact than just the players involved. The Kings also picked up Aaron Gray and Quincy Acy, for the fewest letters in three surnames you could ever receive in a three-player haul. In return, Greivis Vasquez, John Salmons, Patrick Patterson and Chuck Hayes got exported to Canada. I hope they have winter wear! Instead of going over all of the impact in the open, it’ll be fettered out and we’ll focus on Gay at the top. Nothing changes. Brevity! Lots of shots, the Kings don’t become any better or worse, but get a good all-around player. The fantasy impact on Gay seems null. The trade overall I think it a win-win, both in real hoops and in fantasy. The Kings dumped guys that don’t really help their rotations for a star, and the Raptors break up their two high-volume shots guys with it not working. Plus the Raptors are looking to rebuild around the Luminescent Lithuanian. Then all sorts of fantasy optimism below, along with other action across the NBA over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you ever sat back and thought, “What if I got a shot at the NBA when I was in my prime? Everyone knows I average a double double in my men’s league, I tell them all the time. I’m 6’7″ and can jump higher than even Steve the Electrician’s kid. What if I got minutes against the best in the world?” I know one Razzball writer who’s had that exact thought. Usually after one too many crown and cokes. Someone thanks him for helping them win their weekly match-up 7-2 and we go out and celebrate at the bar. Well played sir. Well Played. This night gave us much more than just a terrible hangover. It gave questionable decision making and a highly impaired thinking process. At some yet still hazy point that night we began playing the fantasy ‘What If’ game, culminating in the question what if Nick Calathes started and got 36 minutes? Wouldn’t he average 10 assists per game? With that eureka moment I knew it was time to hail a cab and call it a night. Obviously I was far too tired to think straight. When I awoke the next day, thinking clearly once more, I decided to play the ‘What If’ game again. This time with you as my live studio audience and hopefully with a more level head. Would everyone please now fill out your name tag and be seated. Because you may just be the next contestant on, ‘What… If… He Starrrrrtsss…’ And it’s a Go for the Theme Song.Please, blog, may I have some more?
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away… Is that too cliché? Yeah it is, but there’s a point. You knew where it came from as soon as you read it. You can hear the soundtrack playing in your head. Well, now that I said it you can hear it. There’s even a chance you might remember the first time you saw it. That’s what drafting LeBron James feels like. It’s a smell in the air, a taste in the back of your throat that tells you there’s something familiar here. The nurturing feeling of resting against LeBron’s bosom. Ahh… Hold me LeBron. That’s not what this series is going to be about. This here is akin to trying to remember the first time you saw Spaceballs. Sure it’s a classic, but we both know you weren’t in the right state of mind to remember the first time you watched any Mel Brooks movie. Am I right or am I right? I can hear your silence loud and clear.
Let’s all now jump into our Delorean, Phone Booth, Hot Tub or whatever your time machine of choice is and travel back to last October. There was something with very large fantasy implications happening in Houston. It was not the trade for James Harden. I’m talking about the position battle at SF between Carlos Delfino and Chandler Parsons. If you would have chosen wisely then you would have gotten the closest thing I can imagine to the fantasy holy grail. A top 50 player at the low low cost of a free agent pick up, even in the deepest of leagues. This will be my gift to you. No, not this overpriced knockoff but the next best thing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s crunch time people. We are in the playoffs and it’s balls to the wall from here on out. No long intro this week fortunately or unfortunately for you, as my body is still trying to repulse the HPV that Tahitian drag queen gave me in Bora Bora. I can hardly keep my eyes open for you, the readers, I would never leave hanging. Let’s hop right into this past weekend’s hit or miss performances.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings Razzball nation! It is I, Tehol Beddict, your indebted servant, scrutinizing player performances yet again to help you win your fantasy league. Let’s just say that Chris Bosh has had a trying last few days. The guy already gets blasted mercilessly for his resemblance to prehistoric creatures, flaccid rebounding numbers and his many peculiar moments on camera, some which of are on this video.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jared Dudley did right in Phoenix last night, scoring 22 points and adding 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals with 2 3pm in 43 minutes. The 22 points were a season high, and after starting the season looking kind of like a Dud-ley, the past two games he’s looked sort of Stud-ley (hey that’s the headline!).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night, Kobe Bryant scored over half his team’s points (40) and reached a triple double. No, not the good kind of triple double…the kind where you also have 10 turnovers. An absurd line of 40/10/3/3 with 5 3PM, 12-28 FG, 11-13 FT, and the aforementioned 10 turnovers. You’ll live with the high TO’s but the Lakers can’t. In a night of high profile college basketball, the game turned out to be very similar. I didn’t watch, but George Hill (19/5/5/1) hit the game winning shot to win 79-77 over Kobe Bryant. Not to mention that the teams combined for 57 personal fouls (that’s an actual number, not some sarcastic number). Did anybody enjoy watching that? Glad I watched the ACC/Big 10 challenge instead. Anyway, here’s what else happened in the NBA last night:
Darren Collison – Sometimes a coach likes to put a slumping player on the bench and see how he responds.Please, blog, may I have some more?