The postseason is upon us in standard playoff leagues, and this is the last update of the fantasy regular season. My swan song if you will! My swan… Carroll? Puns! Puns! “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got puns, hun!” What isn’t punny is DeMarre Carroll‘s production of late, pouncing on the hapless Bucks for 15/6/1/0/2 hitting four treys. Carroll has been all about sir-mix-a-lotting multi-cats, with three straight pretty big fantasy games hitting three+ treys in all of em. Shooting a great percentage, hitting treys, can get all the cats, what’s not to like?! And yet, still only 47% owned in Yahoo. Crazy sauce! Looking ahead to the playoff schedule – and if you haven’t yet, be sure to read up on Slim’s schedule breakdown for the three upcoming weeks (which is what I’m going to use here on out, Slim you are a saint!) – the Hawks are non-migratory and play within a temperate zone of 4 games in all three playoff weeks. So sink your talons into some DeMarre and soar into the fantasy championship to place a title trophy on your roost. Puns! Puns! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohhhhh, fringe-fantasy worthy Duke players… I’m not a fan! Belle Knox isn’t a fan! Is she fringe-fantasy worth? Plausibly. Whilst you search her in Incognito mode, Kyle Singer went all multi-cat in a near-rainbow explosion for 11/7/3/5/1. He even stole DeMarcus Cousins‘ parking spot! Fight, fight! While I’m not necessarily the biggest Singler fan (which I’m sure you can ascertain by the title and if you’ve read all year), he does have something going for him that all Lakers and Bucks would give their left nut for. Consistent minutes. After the All-Star break, Singler is averaging 34 minutes a game. And hey, he needs every single[r] one of them to stay fantasy relevant. Burn! But relevant indeed, as his slash in that time is 11.7/3.1/1.6/1.1/0.6. Not setting the world on fire, but for your fringe-guys – especially in weekly leagues – giving you a little of something is better than a lot of nothing. Award winning advice right there! Along with the multi-cat, is at 1.5 treys and 82% FT shooting since the break. Dibbling in this, dabbling in that, and next thing you know he’s someone you trust more than, I dunno, maybe even Brandon Jennings who couldn’t find the hole last night. “Tie in a joke from the beginning, tie in a joke from the beginning!” Shut up 13-year-old inner monologue! Here’s what else I saw in NBA action from last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wow, what a wild night across the NBA-osphere. Tons of injuries, lots of scrubs getting some burn, if I didn’t know better, I woulda though it was late March. But no! I guess we can start with that other JB as Jerryd Bayless moved into the starting line-up and lit up the Hawks for a season-high 29 Pts. Shooting 12-21, it was pretty ThrAGNOFfy for 29/2/2/1/0 with 5 treys. Why you avoid the 3-point specialists on draft day! Who knows what preppy-boy Brad Stevens is going to do next, and while getting the Pacers on Saturday isn’t a great matchup, home games vs. GS, BKN, then DET next week could be a 10 3PTM week for JB. And while he’s not as multi-cat as the real JB over here, we can all grab the band if we need some scoring. I’ll wear a headband as well for the moral support! Here’s what else went down on a very busy night of injuries and surprise games in the NBA:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The All-Star Break is here! With skills competish, Mike & Mike in the evening, and everyone’s favorite – the Slam Dunk Contest. It’s exactly what everyone needs during the grind of the regular season, even for us fans who are only nursing such injuries like Larry Drew-ophobia, general malaise, and fantasy bewilderment. I have all of those symptoms! Plus we all get four straight nights of not worrying about our fantasy rosters, nights off to spend with ladies (Valnetine’s Day just happens to be during the All-Star Break, who planned this? Does Jared own the NBA?!), nights off to go out drinking without constantly checking box scores on the iPhone, and nights off to spend working on some Fantasy Baseball rankings… Oh, and nights off to dig out our cars, sheesh this weather! So with all that in mind enjoy the All-Star Break, get on twitter and have fun faux-titling the Dunk Contest throwdowns, and I’ll be back on Wednesday next week as we approach the fantasy playoffs. Here’s what I saw last night in the few NBA games and a few injury updates:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, the Feds are after you. Your Ponzi scheme and billions of dollars are up for seizure. Well, that, or your $20 league dues and your friends sending you obnoxious texts about how you’re not going to the playoffs. So if you’re in H2H and in this shortened week, what is a Madoff to do? How about putting in a quick grab of Chris Kaman, who has erected himself into surging fantasy relevance. Too far JB! A raging 25/14/4/1/3 line last night, taking a whopping team-high 24 shots. That’s now three straight games of at least 17 Pts, 8 Rebs, 3 Asts and 2 Blks. That’s the floor! While tonight’s slate is pretty jam-packed, Thursday is a light one. With the Lakers one of the few teams in action, Kaman could really make the difference this week for ya in Pts and Blks. While he does have a shelf life whence Pau Gasol returns, if Gasol is indeed traded I think Kaman has played well enough to stick. Of course you never know with Doh-toni, but Robert Sacre isn’t exactly a guy to be developed for a long-term future and they don’t have any other true 5s. So don’t be afraid to stash some of your free cash in the Kaman islands. While he is owned in 43% of Yahoo leagues already (a bit shocking to me it had hopped up that fast), there’s plenty of IRS-free banks left to stash him up. Here’s what else I saw last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
One team. Two broken noses. Four bloody nostrils. One protective face-mask company that has lost a client.
In case you missed it, in the battle of the oldest teams ever in NBA history (yeah, no stat to back that up, but pretty sure George Gervin played a few minutes in the third… [Ok, ok, the Spurs benched all their old guys, whatever!]), both Nando De Colo and Matt Bonner broke their noses and got all bloody. Bonner with his mask still on! On both (De Colo, Bonner) you got some really good in your face camerawork. I feel like both of those could become UFC moves. The “Russian wrister”! The “Livingston shoulder slam”! De Colo gets mad props for coming back in the game in the second half. Bonner gets mad props too for trying to come back in, but Pop wouldn’t have it. Pop hates props! Plus Bonner’s quote, “By tomorrow, I’ll either have a new mask or a new face” is friggin’ awesome. Kinda have a boner for Bonner. While De Colo is not a standard league option, with Tony Parker an elf on the shelf with a bad back, De Colo got 27 minutes 11/3/2/2/1. Near rainbow! It’s actually a pretty light slate of games looking ahead on Saturday, so De Colo could be a nice streamer for you in deeper leagues if Parker stays on that shelf. But as Slim pointed out to me earlier in the week, they’re against Charlotte – a top-5 PPG NBA D, but his defense and boarding should be fine if you need a lil-a-dat from a PG over the weekend. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I might be making this up, but doesn’t Denver play the Flavor Flav “Yeah Boy!” when Randy Foye hits a three? Well I hope they do! After a brutal Super Bowl for the Broncos (and America), the Denver populous got some slight redemption with Foye hitting this buzzer-beater last night. Sportscenter! But even with that game-winner, Foye had a rainbow flirt of 14/7/4/1/2. That’s not ThrAGNOF! Even with Ty Lawson back, Foye is rackin’ up multi-cat!? I haven’t been a big Foye fan for shallower leagues this year – I thought he was constantly overvalued – but getting 16 dimes in his previous game then a nice all-around line last night with Ty-Ty back; I think I’m a little more a believer. Sure it’s only one game against a fast-paced Clippers team, but 40+ minutes yet again last night and now in three straight games and Foye is looking pretty locked in for good value right now. Owned in 57% of Yahoo leagues seems a little thin. Show ya Foye a little Flavor of Love. Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night was a doozy. Flummoxing. I actually had to look up flummoxing to be sure it worked. And it does! But there are numerous things that aren’t working for the Kings, mainly Rudy Gay‘s Achilles and DeMarcus Cousins‘ ankle. Gay actually wasn’t “Leon” down in pain like DeMarcus after DMC fully rolled his ankle, but neither sounds like any sort of fun. With Cousins, the diagnosis is a “moderate sprain” and I gotta say, a big near 300-pounder putting all his weight on an ankle the turns 90 degrees the wrong way doesn’t sound moderate. Moderate maybe in the sense that the dude in 127 hours only had to “moderately” scratch his arm to get free! I’d expect at least a few weeks. But, “I’m not a doctor, I’m a pool man!” Then there’s Gay’s Achilles which you could see in his face he was in bad pain and exited pretty quick, albeit under his own power. We all saw Kobe Bryant limp off under his own power with the torn Achilles, so this one is definitely a hold-your-breath injury. The obvious immediate add in most formats is Derrick Williams, who I kinda disregarded when he was acquired, but now is in a “you-better-be-able-to-score-a-lot-because-we’ll-need-it” starting role. Solid 22/11/1 with three treys last night in 40 minutes of duty. Just added him in one league for the ice cold Terrence Ross for example. Ross is like, “hey don’t blame me, it’s this effin’ weather!” Yes – I narrate my fantasy teams. Someday soon I hope to put on a finger puppet show. Here’s what else I saw last night in a wild evening of fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m sure we’ve all experienced a day in our lives that through some kind of grueling experience we somehow came out victorious. On the inside all we cared about was the instant satisfaction of winning but on the outside we appeared broken and defeated. Not so long ago I had such a night. It’s not the shame that makes it so difficult to talk about, but the shame that there’s a sense of glory and accomplishment that goes with it. JB and I decided a few drinks were in order one night and we decided, while watching some NBA action, to have ourselves a little drinking game. Sure I thought, I’ve had a few already how bad can this be? The deal was that we would pick a player and for each assist that player had the other person would have a drink. JB wanted it to be field goals made but I managed to talk him into assists, or so I thought. “Chris Paul“, I said without hesitation. Looking back I probably had a really stupid smirk on my face. JB calmly ordered himself another, then he ordered me an appetizer – which looking back may have saved my life. With a perfectly calm demeanor I got to hear words that will still cause me to cringe, “Kendell Marshall“.Please, blog, may I have some more?