Whewwww-eeee!  What a fun draft.  A good four-and-a-half hours after the draft start time I had picked my 17th player, and I think I really like my team.  But with a lot of picks, I did feel a bit like Jerry Lundegaard in Fargo trying to defend them; “it’s a real good deal this one, real good!”  Thanks again for filling out the league loyal Razzball Nation, and again thanks to our friends at RotoGold.com and the TDBSportsNetwork (which you can catch me on their “The Double Bonus” Show throughout the season and from last Wednesday) for helping class up the joint.

So if you missed the post launching the league, the Razzball Elite Dynasty League had our inaugural draft last night, an all-out brawl of an Auction draft with some really interesting bidding wars.  Looking at you Ben from RotoGold and you pumping up Giannis Antetokounmpo for $15 late!  The league is 20 teams, 12 starters (two of every position and two UTIL) and five bench spots.  Using my abacus over here, that’s 340 players owned.  Neeedless to say, things got really interesting once we were in the bottom end of starters.  There is no inflation, we voted on a true Dynasty application, with lifetime contracts.  Free agent pickups all must be done with your $100 yearly FAAB, and those players can be kept on a $1 lifetime contract.  So FAAB bidding will be a critical element through the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe because I didn’t follow the NBA preseason as closely last year as I was working exclusively on Football, but I feel like there’s been a lot more preseason injuries in only the first week of action than in year’s past.  Then again, Rodney Stuckey wasn’t even on the court, and slammed his thumb in his car door and needs surgery.  It’s gonna make for a hell of a hitchhiking thumb in that cast!  What it is with Detroit athletes and getting hurt in their cars?  Not even a month ago Nate Burleson broke his arm reaching over to keep some boxes from falling and slamming into the median.  All Detroit athletes need to avoid using motor vehicles.  Maybe that’s proof right there Obama shouldn’t have bailed out GM.  Give them all mopeds.  Oh wait, yeah that won’t work, will is Monta Ellis?  Maybe segways?  I’ve got it!  Just tell Andre Drummond he has to carry every Detroit athlete to where they need to go until his FT% goes above 50.  He’ll be like a Detroit athlete tauntaun.  See, tell me why I’m not an NBA coach.  I already had moved Kentavious Caldwell-Pope way up before the Stuckey injury with how the Pistons coaching staff was praising him, and look for KCP to move to right around 100 overall in my next rankings update.  Here’s what else went down since we last looked in at preseason action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty.  With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar.  Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  Sorry it has been a slight break from me, but it’s been a wild summer.  If I weren’t out of town drinking daiquiris on the beach trying to grow my mustache out and know absolutely nothing about any sport besides baseball, then my summer would’ve felt incomplete…

But I’m back now, back into everything Razzball, and ready to talk some NBA rookies.  I know I’m a little behind the draft, but hey, we’ve got a little time before we see these guys in real NBA action.  Not that Kelly Olynyk playing in solid color warmups in a gym that looks like one Nikola Pekovic used to play in the Siberian Leagues isn’t entertaining, but c’mon.  Let’s get these summer guys playing somewhere nice!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bonjour all, tis I, Tehol Beddict, and I come back to you a new man. A better man. I’m sure many of you sent in hand written letters, filled with panic and despair over my abrupt disappearance , and your fears were justified as my journey almost turned perilous on multiple occasions. Trust that I knew the job was dangerous when I took it, for mankini modeling can turn deadly at any given moment as many a she-male lurk on the stunningly beautiful island that’s known as Bora Bora.

Before my tale involving the treacherous she-males occurred I spent my time off camera helping induce pregnant dolphins into labor, rescuing sea turtles from fish nets, thatching roofs destroyed by a recent hurricane, trying to impregnate a village chief’s daughter and digging a well for the thirsty locals. Yes, Tehol Beddict is a philanthropist  as well as being a scholar, poet, mankini model, and a writer. It’s true I wear many hats, but among those is never a jimmy, luckily for the Chieftan’s daughter, who I can now proudly say is expecting come winter.

When saving baby sea creatures one must be wary of the poisonous sea urchin as the only way to stop the pain is by peeing on the wound. Giving golden showers to tourists is now one of my greatest passions after this trip.  I shall never forget the joy of easing a tourist’s pain by blasting his face with a powerful stream of urine. You must be precise in these matters and my aim stuck true. The locals worshipped me for these feats and told me they had only read about piss with such potency in tales about the Gods they worshipped thousands of years ago before they were overtaken by the pious French. But this is a tale for another day my friends for I did battle with some of the most powerful she-males of Bora Bora , nearly losing my life in the process, and that story takes precedence.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve never been that bothered by snakes.  Now I never went out of my way to play with them or anything (except my own – bada bing!), but never ran the other way either except when I was in New Mexico when I was like 7.  When I was working on my parents mountain house when I was in high school, there was a snake under the scrap heap I was clearing and I killed that little bitch with a shovel.  If that doesn’t boost your testosterone, then I guess you need to contact Tony Bosch at Biogenesis.  The resident snake of the NBA (in name only – easy Laker fans), Kobe Bryant, the Black Mamba himself, went down hard after twisting his ankle last night, and blames Dahntay Jones for intentionally crowding him.  I thought snakes didn’t have ankles?  Well, this injury after sliding into 8th place in the West just puts the icing on the cake of the Lakers ridiculous season.  Right now the prognosis is “out indefinitely.”  About all you can do is make your sacrifices to the fantasy gods and cross your fingers.  One thing Kobe has going for him is that he is resilient to injury and can heal quickly.  He’s kinda like the Derek Jeter of the NBA.  And Jeter never had any ankle issues….  I could see Bryant back sooner rather than later, but stay tuned.

Here’s what else went down in fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had the unfortunate pleasure (displeasure?) of watching the Knicks get pa-rumped by the Warriors last night 92 to 63.  It was disturbing, almost laughably so.  Kinda like The Wicker Man.  Not the bees!  If only the Warriors were women in bear suits.  Sheesh get Stevie Nicks out there.  With her current body type, she could probably box out Kurt Thomas.  Fun fact: they’re both 64 years old as well.  Carmelo Anthony returned from three games off with a sore knee to go 14 and 10 but 4-15.  Maybe the knee needs more ice.  J.R. Smith got ejected for a flagrant and went 3-11 for 9 points in his 21 minutes, so it’s not like his departure was a main factor of suckage.  Kenyon Martin had a rough layup rip-check, Tyson Chandler couldn’t fend off David Lee for second chance points, and the Knicks shot 24.7% and 5-27 from 3 as a team.  The Clippers are lob city, the Knicks last night were brick city.  The Knicks will look to rebound Wednesday night against Carmelo’s former Nuggets, so I could see a nice bounce back from your NY fantasy options.  But lawdy.  Was a pretty nauseating performance from one of the NBA’s “better” teams.

Here’s what else happened last night in the fantasy basketball-o-sphere:

Please, blog, may I have some more?