In Shaq-ramento, when Christmas carolers sing at your doorstep, if it’s deck the halls you must insist a free a Rudy Gay jersey! You better believe Sleep Train Arena is gonna deck their halls with Gay apparel. That is, if it has power. Zing! Last night, the Kings picked up Gay from the Raptors in a 7-player deal with a lot more fantasy impact than just the players involved. The Kings also picked up Aaron Gray and Quincy Acy, for the fewest letters in three surnames you could ever receive in a three-player haul. In return, Greivis Vasquez, John Salmons, Patrick Patterson and Chuck Hayes got exported to Canada. I hope they have winter wear! Instead of going over all of the impact in the open, it’ll be fettered out and we’ll focus on Gay at the top. Nothing changes. Brevity! Lots of shots, the Kings don’t become any better or worse, but get a good all-around player. The fantasy impact on Gay seems null. The trade overall I think it a win-win, both in real hoops and in fantasy. The Kings dumped guys that don’t really help their rotations for a star, and the Raptors break up their two high-volume shots guys with it not working. Plus the Raptors are looking to rebuild around the Luminescent Lithuanian. Then all sorts of fantasy optimism below, along with other action across the NBA over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bonjour all, tis I, Tehol Beddict, and I come back to you a new man. A better man. I’m sure many of you sent in hand written letters, filled with panic and despair over my abrupt disappearance , and your fears were justified as my journey almost turned perilous on multiple occasions. Trust that I knew the job was dangerous when I took it, for mankini modeling can turn deadly at any given moment as many a she-male lurk on the stunningly beautiful island that’s known as Bora Bora.
Before my tale involving the treacherous she-males occurred I spent my time off camera helping induce pregnant dolphins into labor, rescuing sea turtles from fish nets, thatching roofs destroyed by a recent hurricane, trying to impregnate a village chief’s daughter and digging a well for the thirsty locals. Yes, Tehol Beddict is a philanthropist as well as being a scholar, poet, mankini model, and a writer. It’s true I wear many hats, but among those is never a jimmy, luckily for the Chieftan’s daughter, who I can now proudly say is expecting come winter.
When saving baby sea creatures one must be wary of the poisonous sea urchin as the only way to stop the pain is by peeing on the wound. Giving golden showers to tourists is now one of my greatest passions after this trip. I shall never forget the joy of easing a tourist’s pain by blasting his face with a powerful stream of urine. You must be precise in these matters and my aim stuck true. The locals worshipped me for these feats and told me they had only read about piss with such potency in tales about the Gods they worshipped thousands of years ago before they were overtaken by the pious French. But this is a tale for another day my friends for I did battle with some of the most powerful she-males of Bora Bora , nearly losing my life in the process, and that story takes precedence.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you have been around the Razzball block, you may have seen my stuff as a regular writer for Razzball Football (along with Co-Host of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast with @NickCapozzi) and an occasional contributor for Razzball Baseball. If not, then I say hello Basketball world! I will be taking over the reins as the editor-in-chief for Razzball Basketball (while continuing my contributions to our other fine sports sections) and look forward to making different jokes about the same players. Get ready for numerous Sam Cassell looks like E.T. references.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man with a name that would drive King George VI off his throne in fits of anger, Thabo Sefolosha shot 7 of 11 from the field, including 5 of 7 from the perimeter, to accumulate 20 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, and 3 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Martell Webster continues to light the east coast on fire from downtown, while much of the coast is being covered in snow. That Webster is so hot right now! Friday night, he scored 16 points, adding 4 rebounds, 2 assists, 3 steals and hit 3 shots from the arc.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kyle Korver was unstoppable Friday night, leading Atlanta to a huge 2OT win with 27 points, including 8 3-pointers made, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocks. The Korv started his second game in a row in place of Anthony Morrow, and again he took advantage. He was actually calling for the ball in this one too, dude was absolutely en fuego, hashtag could not miss (did I do that right?).Please, blog, may I have some more?
There is a very interesting situation brewing in Toronto, this time involving the guards instead of the big men. Kyle Lowry is still coming off the bench, last night playing 22 minutes, taking 2 shots (missing both from downtown), and throwing in 2 rebounds, 9 assists and 2 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Paul George came into the season with some massive hype, including some by yours truly. Then Danny Granger got injured and the hype ballooned even more. The only problem was that the balloon was filled with carbon dioxide (CO2 for you nerds) and not helium. So if you learned anything from Bill Nye the Science Guy (not Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s been the Kobe Bryant show over in LA and will remain that way until Steve Nash comes back. This is an extremely small sample size but Pau Gasol arguably had his best game this year when Nash was handling the ball (the first game of the year!). He had 19 shots that first game and has only topped 15 shots twice since then. Is Pau getting old?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kris Humphries (3/4/0 with 2 blocks) fouled Kevin Garnett (16/10/1) somewhat hard (his flopping made it look worse than it was). Rajon Rondo (6/1/3 with 2 steals) took exception to the contact, and since NBA players are mature, emotionally well-adjusted individuals, a brawl ensued, resulting in the ejection of Humpy and Rondo.Please, blog, may I have some more?