We’re here! We’ve got ranks! 2014-15 is quickly approaching, and we’re jumping the gun on ranks, projections, anticipating trades… Seriously, one of the biggest trades of the decade is all predicated on a handshake agreement. “My fingers were crossed Saunders, hah!” It’s the proverbial dogs playing poker, except the game is the fantasy basketball landscape and the GMs look even uglier than the deformed pug. “Heel David Griffin, heel!” Then to top off that soap opera, we have a first rounder from last year (but not in my ranks!) out for the year with a horrific injury in Team USA play. For all the Paul George banter we had last year, Razzball Nation wishes him a speedy recovery. Back to happy thoughts! Anyone see that one of my boyfriends last year, Archie Goodwin, was drunk and resisting arrest at a skating rink?! He was gonna make my top 10 too! What a comical situation… He should have his own Archie Comics! Oh wait… Well despite the innumerable implications of Tony Hawk’s arrest, let’s start ranking! And as we go through the top 200 in long form, we’ll be updating our master ranks/easy-to-use post linked up there in the rankings menu. Razzball is so easy! One crown & coke and I’m out of my Knickerbockers faster than John Starks at a flat top convention! Here’s my top 10 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
Free agency is here! It has been a bit mum since the FA pool is awaiting that LeBron James cannonball, leaving us without a good snapshot of how the league will look in 2014-15. But we’ve got Summer League getting into gear and a couple interesting FA moves.
With the The Decision 2.0 on hold, even P.J. Hairston is antsy and trying to get some ball in. According to reports, he got into a fight with a high school senior, literally at the YMCA closest to the one where I play pickup (Chapel Hill). While some guys are really good at Chapel Hill, there aren’t any NBA players actin’ a fool and calling three in the key! This is likely a non-story, but it just makes you shake your head. Almost as much as my former rookie nookie Archie Goodwin getting arrested at an Arkansas skating rink. Sure, you can tweet “Don’t assume if you don’t know the whole story…” to which I say, “the hell you gonna get into that kinda situation at a skating rink for!” Man, that pine gonna stay warm this year, Archie! Here’s some other [actually useful for fantasy] news and notes of free agent signings and early Summer League performances:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Hoops Nation! Wow, typing 2014-15 already just feels weird… I’m not ready to quit you 2013-14! Although, the disappointing image of the face of the Luminescent Lithuanian makes it easy. We’re done, ya ho! I’m just not that into you…
As I do every season during the NBA Playoffs, I think it’s a fun way to kick off the year with some way too early rankings through the top 50. “Wait a minute, isn’t there free agency and a draft, moron!?” Shut it, noob commenter! There will obviously be numerous changes to these early ranks, possibly even some rookies trickling into the bottom end of the top 50, and all sorts of free agency moves to make this a really fun offseason. Here’s my way too early Top 20 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (spoiler alert: no Jonas Valanciunas):Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! Hopefully you’re hopping over here to boast your hardware. To flaunt your gold. To show us all your bigger red ass to display your dominance over us weakling chimps! Most H2H leagues wrapped up last night, and I had a brutal year. Multi-titles last year, not a one this time out. But hey! It’s been a fun season, and we’ve still got a few weeks left for other H2Hers and Roto players. So we’ll be here! And we’ve got a fun championship edition week coming at ya, with Slim’s REL acceptance speech along with Wednesday’s RCL Championship crowning. Speaking of crowning, somebody get Aaron Brooks the iron throne (I thought about making a birthing joke instead, but that’s gross)! Dude has been owning Westeros (I think that’s right, it’s hard to keep up with all the kingdoms when you haven’t read the books!), getting his second straight 40+ minute outing and blowing up for 24/8/15/3/0. As I mentioned in the comments at some point last week, Brooks against the Rockets with no Patrick Beverley checking him was going to be saucy. Then Ty Lawson had to sit on top of it! Wow, that sentence comes off weird as a standalone… Brooks looks to be an immediate add with Brian Shaw quoted that he’s not rushing Lawson back. As well he shouldn’t, captain obvious! Try and snatch up Brooks if you still can and ride him while Lawson sits on it, apparently. Hah! Here’s what else I saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hmmmm, ok, who did you pick in you office “who scores 40 points tonight” pool? I bet the Vegas odds were… a million to one on Nick Young. “So you’re saying there’s a chance!” Too bad Nick Young sucks in fantasy. You actually have to go back 15 games to find him putting up a 5 in any counting stat other than treys. The ThrAGNOF fairy strikes again! Dude went a preposterous 15-26 (6-13 3PTM 4-5 FT) 40/4/1/2/0 and only had one turnover last night. The Blazers should be ashamed. I’m pretty sure this game never actually happened, and it was some sort of elaborate April Fool’s joke. Swaggy P shockingly led the Lakers in minutes off the bench, and with his shoot first, ask questions later attitude, Mike D’Anotni’s rape stache kept curling upwards in facial hair glee. By the end of the game (and yes, another Lakers loss), D’Anotni’s mustache looked like Rollie Fingers. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Lakers. The Bucks. Two terrible teams enter. Only one team wins (well, actually neither of these teams are winners, unless you count if they get the first pick in next year’s draft, I guess winning the lottery is something…). Two horrible teams with fast-paced awfulness where we see flashes of fantasy goodness. And we got another taste of the sweet nectar that is Jordan Hill when given playing time! 31 minutes for 28/16/0/1/0 shooting a ridiculous 13-17. With 9 of those boards offensive, Hill was abusing the paint and his shot chart around the rim looked like a rash in Kim Kardashian’s nethers. Everyone that has watched the Lakers lately (a number that has decreased significantly, and would even more without fantasy!) knows Hill should be starting the 4 every night, and it’s taken way too long for D’Antoni to finally go back to him. Even Hill is confused about his playing time based on his profile pic… No Pau Gasol at least for tonight, and Chris Kaman barely arriving on time to last night’s game due to personal reasons might have put a craw in Doh-toni’s gears. There was a report they hadn’t talked in weeks before Tuesday’s game. Before that, Kobe Bryant said he hadn’t talked to D’Antoni in a while during his rant. The Lakers coach is running this team like it’s freshman year of high school. “OMG, like, Mike hasn’t put me in the game, so like, I stopped talking to him and, like just started posting memes on the internet!” I knew it was Kaman! You’re playing with fire, but for guys widely available, if you have a roster spot open Hill is as good as any to give you a really high upside double double tonight. Against the Wolves should be a pretty free flowing game, so let’s all hope Jordan stays over the Hill before we bury Mike D’Anotni underneath it. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yet another start for the Gorgui Apparatus, with Gorgui Dieng going all out with a Goromotaro! I have to say, definitely the most unexpected Goromotaro since the term was coined. 22/21/4/1/0 and double-doubles in his last three games. Except this was a double double-double. There’s so many Ds in that sentence you’d think I was daydreaming about Tyra Banks! And while Gorgui is out proving that he’s America’s Next Top C, what are doing right now in crunch time of fantasy? He’s a tough guy to leave on the wire, but the Wolves only have Sunday left this week, and Nikola Pekovic is traveling with the team. Pek is questionable, but Dieng has given the team every excuse to keep the youngun out there with pretty much no realistic expectations to make the playoffs. So unless you’ve got a bye with a real scrub and you can stash Gorgui and hope for another big upside game, or your line-up is virtually full Friday and Saturday, you’re probably letting him ride in 10 or 12ers H2H. Roto he’s worth a spin and if you’re crushing it in week 1 of the playoffs, maybe worth a stache as well. Oh no, Grey has me daydreaming about baseball! Mmmmm, Tyra Banks and baseball. Get out of my head Grey! What will be really interesting next year is what the Wolves do up front with Kevin Love having an uncertain future and Pek a FA. Dieng would probably be a really flashy flyer if he projects to start. Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twas the first night of the playoffs, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even Eddie House. Wait, I can’t rhyme house and House. At least I would think not, I tried to tell my buddies who listen to rap that Rick Ross’ “Everyday I’m Hustlin” is lazy because he rhymes Atlantic with Atlantic. “But they are different uses of Atlantic!” Pssssh. Wow, way off track. The playoff brackets were hung on the league sites with care, all in hopes St. Terrence Jones would be there. And be there he was! “Stop it with all the Christmas shizz, it’s March already!” Don’t start a war on Christmas with me, intolerable commenter! Dwight Howard was a late scratch with an ankle, and while we all know TJones starts anyway, it opened a bigger void for the TJ. TJ Entered the Void. Lots of minutes for the TJ. 38 in fact, for 30/5/1/1/4 hitting three treys and not having a single TO. Now, before you go crazy sauce on me, remember this was against a defending force of Marvin Williams and Enes Kanter. Jones got whatever he wanted. The Jazz were singing to him like Selena Gomez. Oh man, wow, sad that I know that… Anyway, Dwight will be back for the Rox next game on Thursday and I’m not ready to snatch up TJ really any differently that I was before. We all know his upside and the situation was ripe – this was against a terrible team and an influx of minutes from a last second scratch. I think TJ could easily disappoint his next few given his sparse usage when Dwight returns. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve all been guilty of it at one point or another. Maybe the great ones, you know, someone like The Dude, haven’t been guilty of trying to look into the future. For us mere mortals life isn’t so easy that all we need to do is throw on our best pair of Birkenstocks and face the day as it comes to us. At this time of year in fantasy, it’s time to forget about the prospects and focus on the here and now. There aren’t any September call-ups… wait, where are you all going? Baseball hasn’t started yet. Fine, go, be gone with you then! Ahem… For those of us still playing for a championship – ohhh *snaps fingers* out of the playoffs burn! Excuse me. For those of us still playing for championships, *smirk*, we can’t afford to worry about the what ifs, we can only concern ourselves now with the what has, so here are my weekend streamers of who wills:Please, blog, may I have some more?