As we continue to navigate through the NBA Playoffs, it’s been a fun challenge to rank for the 2013-2014 season.  There’s still free agency.  There’s still a draft.  Hey, at least we know there will be a season unlike 2011!

If you missed it, my top 10 then top 20 came out last week.  Hey, it’s early, you might say “way too early” (see what I did there, it’s in the title!) so these rankings are subject to change.  And I want no accusations of flip-flopping!  It’s not my fault if all the sudden Dwight Howard goes to the Bobcats and becomes a first-rounder!  OK, so that is as likely as Rony Seikaly… returning.  You gotta stop on the word that rhymes Jean-Ralphio!  Man I’m liking that show.  Also, random side note, Googling Rony Seikaly to spell his name correctly broke Google.  I searched it and it would freeze, despite everything else working.  Weird.

As I battle my ADHD to get into the rankings, let’s just dive into it:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The playoffs are coming, do you have a point guard emergency? Mo Williams consistency driving you insane? Kyrie Irving just not cutting it since his return? Steve Nash can’t stay on the floor? Tony Parker goes down! Well according to Lt. Dangle there might be a new sheriff in Orlando, all he needs is a killer ‘stache. Beno Udrih was Udraining shots from all over the floor Friday night and scored 27 points (10-17 FG) with 5 rebounds, 7 assists, 2 steals and hit 3 shots from beyond the arc. Beno may have that mustache in him after all. Jameer Nelson missed his fourth straight game and Beno got the nod again. In four games starting with Nelson out, Udrih is averaging 19.5 points, 7.3 assists, 4 rebounds, 1.75 steals and 2.5 threes a game. BENOthatswhatImtalkingabout Udrih! He  played 36 minutes Friday night and should continue to find plenty of time on the floor even when (if) Jameer Nelson (ever) returns. If I have a playoff point guard emergency I’m picking up Udrih,  Beno-911 should provide enough points and assists to make him an asset in your fantasy playoffs.

Here’s what else happened in basketball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve been keeping up with me since I took over the basketball reigns here for Razzball Nation, you know I’ve had two guys I’ve been all about.  Tobias Harris and Jonas Valanciunas.  Yes the luminescent Lithuanian (LL).  Not Latvian!  Easy mistake…  OK, so I’m not one to talk, I’m paler than an Icelander living in Seattle.  But it sounded cool when I made it up.

At the ripe young age of 20, Valanciunas is owning the post, and is doing a Tyler Hansbrough impression of what Psycho-T did in college, just throwing up shizz and getting to the line.  LL (see, this is much better than typing his name correctly every time) has been scoring double-digits a night, but hit his career-high yesterday with 24 in 41 minutes.  The crazy thing is, he took only 7 shots!  Went 16-18 at the free throw line for a splendid line of 24-10-1-1-2.  I know pounding Nene and the rest of the Wiz bigs down low isn’t exactly a huge accomplishment, but I’m gonna be all over him for next year.  And if for some reason he’s available in your league, nab him for your championship run.

Here’s what else went down across the NBA last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  If you have made it this far, you are either in the championship of your league or semi-finals.  Or you play roto, which, let’s face it, almost everyone saves for baseball.  However, the end of the season is more like the end of fantasy football than baseball with teams benching their stars with the playoffs a mere few weeks out.  It’s the perils of owning great players on the elite teams.  Just ask my buddy who I knocked off in my fantasy football championship years ago when the Eagles benched McNabb and Westbrook on Monday Night Football.  Then the Eagles lost to my Panthers in the NFC Championship (I think it was that year, might be wrong – can I have another fact checker? I’m too lazy for Google).  But I digress.

The Heat benched both LeBron James and Dwyane Wade with “injuries” on Sunday, and both are listed as questionable for tonight’s game against the Knicks.  What, are they the new Patriots?  Actually it’s a lot closer than you’d think.  You have Brady/Bron who get booed everywhere, Wade/…  Eh, doesn’t really work does it.  If you’re a Chris Bosh owner, you’re loving this.  Especially if you’re up against LeBron in your championship, like I am in one league.  But in another I have LeBron.  Conflicted feelings!  Just like my reaction to Prometheus.  Man does it look awesome, but the script got fewer revisions than White Chicks (originally Black Chicks).

Let’s get down and dirty with what went down across the NBA last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re looking for fantasy basketball salvation this Easter weekend, Andre Drummond may be the closest your team gets playoff savior. He’s the missing link, drop everything and go pick him up! After missing two months with a back injury, rookie Andre Drummond returned to the court last night to start at center and scored 17 points (80 FG%) with 4 rebounds, 2 blocks and 2 steals. Drums has massive rebounding upside that we didn’t even see last night. In 13 January games before the injury, Dre averaged 8.8 points, 9.2 rebounds and 2.1 blocks. Translation: dude is an absolute beast on the boards. You can ask Greg Monroe (11 pts, 13 reb), Andre’s words-with-friend and personal mentor. With Drums figuring to be a huge part of the future of the Pistons, it’s hard to imagine they won’t give him every opportunity to play in the few games there is left. Drummond’s free throw percentage is rough, but the defensive stats are there and his upside alone makes him a great add in all leagues, especially for those in need of rebounds and blocks.  With the waiver wire scraps getting thinner by the day, Andre Drummond could definitely warrant a spot on your fantasy playoff roster.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy basketball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I bet you haven’t heard and I’m breaking the news… The Heat lost last night!  27 games in a row, down the drain.  One of the most impressive streaks we’ve seen in American sports is over.  However, instead of linking highlights to the game, I think this sketch from one of the best sketch comedy shows Mr. Show encapsulates what happened last night.  David Cross is the Bulls and Bob Odenkirk is the Heat.

Fantasy-wise, the Heat big three had their usual games and Luol Deng was the Bulls top performer with 28 Pts and 4 3PTM.  It was one of the most-hyped, most-talked about regular season NBA games in recent memory, so apologies this isn’t a fantasy-heavy open.  That’s what the rest is for!

Here’s what else went down across a heavy slate of NBA action (yes, there were other games!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In a light slate of games, there were two premiere matchups with the Knicks at Celtics and Clippers at Mavericks.  What game do I get highlights for?  Timberwolves at Pistons.  C’mon Gary!  J.J. Barea looked good!  Sigh.

The Knicks took care of the Celtics and apparently after being compared to Stevie Nicks in a major sports media outlet, have started playing like a team atop the East again.  In the West, The Mavs needed overtime to knock off the Clippers with both Chris Paul and Dirk Nowitzki putting up 33 a piece.  “Whatever you can do, I can do equal!”  How communistic.

Let’s go through the noteworthy fantasy performances last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The league is finally taking notice of the Denver Nuggets win streak of 14 games (there’s not another streak going on is there?), as they survived a near upset to the terrible 76ers at home last night.  The Nuggets are 31-3 at home.  Rocky Mountain air!  Get me an oxygen tank!  The 76ers owner even slammed his team on Twitter.  Doug Collins has got to be about to go on a Mel Gibson-esque tirade.  Maybe paint his face like Braveheart  and drive the tanker truck from The Road Warrior like in South Park.  If he coaches again next year, it will be the biggest accomplishment in sports.  We used to say that Oscar Pistorius, but you don’t hear that as much anymore.

Led by the late game heroics of one of my biggest supported players since I took over, Corey Brewer brewed up 10-18 FG (5-6 3PTM) 29 Pts 1 Reb 5 Stls and 1 Blk.  “Stealin’ and Shottin’!”  Imagine I said that like Spike Lee’s “Stoppin’ and Poppin’, Postin’ and Toastin'” and you get the frame of mind I’m going for.  Hey, I’m white, spoken word isn’t my forte which is why I’m writing this blog, not on the street corner yelling fantasy advice with a megaphone.

Here’s what else went down last night in the NBA:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As a very fair skinned, freckly and tall guy (makes me closer to the sun) I have had my problems beating the heat.  One time in college (I went to UNCW so on the beach) I got burnt so bad on my legs it made me get shaky and more loopy than Joseph Gordon-Levitt. My friends thought I pulled an Ewan McGregor and snuck in some heroin. Suffice to say, I got some serious additional freckling on my calves.  With their long slender shape and pretty much invisible blonde hairs, I could pass them off as Lindsay Lohan’s legs.  Enough celebrity mentions already!

Unfortunately for the Celtics, St. Patty’s didn’t carry on into Monday night as the Heat led by LeBron James’ 37-7-12 (including this abuse of Jason Terry) were able to keep the streak alive at 23.  Although the city of Boston probably would have gotten blackout drunk again either way.  With no Kevin Garnett, the C’s gave another start to Jeff Green who exploded his green-ness on the Heat like Nickelodeon gak.  He was the Green Monstah last night, going for a career-high 43 with 5 3PTM, 7 Rebs, 2 Asts, 2 Stls, and 4 Blks.  Easily one of the best fantasy lines of the year for who is becoming a huge pickup for owners who nabbed him.  Speaking of getting nabbed, check out this guy nabbing a few boogers on national TV. Proves you can do anything if you have the charm. Just look at that wink with the debonair of Mark Harmon/Dennis Quaid.  I thought no more celebrity references!

Let’s take a look at what else went down last night across the NBA:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So one of my favorite directors, Darren Aronofsky, is working on a new movie Noah that is going to come out some time in 2014.  Yeah, it’s about the dude in the “we’re gonna need animals in this boat”, not “we need a bigger boat.”. Russell Crowe is going to be Noah.  Hmmmm.  Did you know “hm” can be played in scrabble and Words With Friends?  Man, did that grind my buddy’s goat.  I don’t know how I feel about this new Aronofsky outlet, especially with a budget reported at $130 million.  That’s a lot of water tanks.  We all saw what happened to Waterworld.  Producer Scott Fanklin said “…we stayed very true to the story and didn’t really deviate from the Bible, despite the six-armed angels.”  Mind… Blown… Speaking of six-armed Angels and Noahs, Joakim Noah was downright swatty last night, racking up 11 Blocks against the 76ers.  Although I guess Noah would be a six-armed Bull.  Something like a mix between Goro and Motaro. Hey, that might actually be a step up looks-wise.  Animality!  Noah’s final line of 8/12 FG 23 Pts 21 Rebs 1 Ast 3 Stls and 11 Blks gave him one of the sexiest triple-doubles since three Baywatch lifeguards ran to my aid after a jellyfish stung my tooshie.  Here’s what else happened around the NBA last night:

Sucker Punch! Another reminder to like us on Facebook as all our sports have melted into one hard-hitting Fantasy hub that stings like a butterfly and flies like a bee.  OK, maybe I got that wrong, but it’s something like that…  Once you follow, you’ll spontaneously outburst in dance in costume and merriment.

Please, blog, may I have some more?