With the full 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Rankings now complete, let’s take a look at the final 50.  Sean Connery.  Kevin Costner.  Tons of Great Depression-esque costumes.  I’d imagine if you’re in a deep league and looking at the field below with your last pick or two, you’re feeling something like this:

It’s pretty hopeless, as in 12-teamers these are all likely guys you’re merely starring on your watch list post draft.  There’s some questionable talent, some questionable roles, maybe even someone that’ll give you The Grapes of Wrath, but some untapped upside!  Here’s my top 200 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of me and JB’s favorite forms of philanthropy is the celebrity car wash.  Obviously we aren’t going to fool anyone into thinking we’re famous without a bit of a makeover.  To achieve that ‘celebrity look’ all you have to do is rent a minivan old enough to still have a tape deck, hire a dozen or so hourly day laborers, and borrow your parents/grandparents circa 1980s shoulder mounted video camera.  Now just find a Walmart parking lot with access to water and you have almost everything you need.  I say almost because you still need to stick out from your newly created entourage.  A pair of henna sleeves representing as many religions as possible and as much costume jewelry as weight you can squat is all you will need to complete the look.  Once you’re set up with everything you need to start the car wash borrow a cassette tape from one of your laborers, swing those double rear doors open, and crank it up to 11.  Just don’t forget to make sure your documentarian is recording it all.

We don’t do it for charity per se but I’m sure what we do is still called philanthropy.  You see we don’t charge money either.  We do it for the sheer pleasure our performances gives others.  Although, we still don’t do it just for them.  I know it’s the same for JB even though he doesn’t really talk about it, but I can surely say for me that once the soaps are sudsin’, the water gets flowing, and I’m dancing to the plucking of guitar strings in nothing but my pink string bikini – I feel alive!  So what if my skin turns red from the sun, green from the ‘gold’, and brown from the ‘ink’, the joy, at least I think that’s joy, we see on the faces of an entire car load of Smiths can’t be washed off in a week either.

In fantasy basketball this amount of joy can only be achieved by guessing right on a rookie and being rewarded with an all-star.  The two top rookies this year are unquestionably Andrew Wiggins and Jabari Parker.  Both are as talented as they come and both should receive plenty of fantasy relevant playing time immediately.  You want one, I want one, everyone else we’re drafting with wants one.  Before I decide if that’s going to be me I need to figure out what kind of player they are, or in a dynasty what kind of player they could become.  So I give to you Wiggins v Parker, in all its hip-shaking, beard-drenched glory:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With the full 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Rankings now complete, let’s take a look at the top 100.  After a week filled with triumphs, successful trades going through, and possibly the biggest news of the offseason – Jared Dudley getting moved.  I couldn’t finish the top 100 without knowing where Dudley would be!  The ramifications would be catastrophic!  So past 75 you’re starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel.  The dregs of the cask.  Which means it’s sleeper land!  Bring out the sleeper patrol!  And a lot of times if you hit on just one of these and avoid injuries in your early rounds, you’re set for a playoff run.  Here’s my top 100 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

More rankings, more “hindsight is 20-20″-ing!  Damn man, seeing LaMarcus Aldridge carve up the Rockets after his huge season is bumming me out – even before I hop into reviewing 21-50!  Get the red marker ready Slim!  Get that F ready!

Just like we reviewed in the Top 20, rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season.  Slim busts out his grading pens and reviews for grammatical correctness and how stringently I followed the assignment.  “What if I stay after class for tutoring!?”  This dialogue and mental image is starting to sound like a low-rent porno.  It’s not like that!  Here’s a look back at the Top 50 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Razzball Nation!  Man, scary to think there’s only a week left of the regular season.  Where has all the time gone?!  While the majority of leagues have wrapped up, we’ve still got some extended H2H finals and Roto players out there who need a pickup for The End of the Road.  And why not Randy Foye after his 30/5/15/2/0 explosion last night?  “Wait, don’t you hate Randy Foye JB?!”  Shut it, commenter who remembers everything!  I do hate Foye, but he’s going to get the volume with Ty Lawson out at least another few games with his bum ankle.   Brian Shaw is saying Lawson probably will return this season, and coaches never lie or deceive us in the NBA, right?!  Cough cough.  With only two games on the slate tomorrow, the 63%-owned Foye (which, yes, is probably lower than it should be given the leagues that are over with aren’t making moves) needs to be scooped up in all leagues still rounding out their finals.  Plus the Nugs schedule the rest of the way is @GS, UTA, @LAC, GS.  He’s gonna heave up more threes than Jimmer Fredette at the BYU Alumni game!  Here’s what else I’ve seen over the last couple of days of NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“1,000, 1,001, 1,002, 1,003.  Wow, I can hardly lift my left arm I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me, but I did over 1,000.”  Maybe should’ve stopped at like 40!  Kyrie Irving strained his left biceps a couple weeks ago, sending owners into a furious frenzy of wire replacements.  And one of the most fun times of the year (although you could argue most frustrating) is when the fringe or struggling playoff teams make drastic moves.  Well, I would argue dropping Kyrie when news hit wasn’t a drastic move, but I think you all know what I’m saying in H2H leagues.  After a very positive reevaluation, Uncle Drew was cleared for practice yesterday and could return as soon as tomorrow.  Talk about positivity!  While the game tomorrow against the Magic seems questionable, there still is cloudy uncertainty.  Both that game and the Cavs next on Friday at the Hawks are on very busy, heavily-scheduled days.  Of course when healthy, Kyrie is a no-brainer, but I’d imagine his first game back comes with a little bit of training wheels.  So if you’re in your final week in your title hopes, I’m not seeing an immediacy in picking him up.  But if your finals are next week, or a two-week final, go ahead and Cry Uncle.  Wait, that doesn’t mean what I was hoping.  Go ahead and pry Uncle?  Eh…  In Roto, hopefully you held Kyrie as that’s what I would’ve done.  Looking ahead to next week, it’s sadly only three games for the Cavs, but stay positive!  One against Detroit and another against da Bucks.  Gotta like those.  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Finals are here (well for RCL and most standard H2H leagues)!  And if you’re like me, and you didn’t have Kevin Durant or LeBron James on any of your teams and got knocked out, it’s baseball time!  Shameless plug!  Starting next Monday, you can check out my Pitcher Profiles if you’re about to hopscotch to baseball as well.  To those of you still in your fantasy basketball playoffs, I HATE YOU!  Haha just kidding.  It was a whirlwind of sports going on over the weekend: rounding out my baseball drafts/opening night, whittling down to the Final Four in March Madness, Hank Dobson’s Mini-Mart and Country performing on the uneven parallel bars in the Independent Nations Games.  A wild time.  But what sparked my eye, or ruffled my gander, or something like that the hardest was D.J. Augustin going career-high on us with 33 Pts.  Ended his night with a 33/1/3/1/0 line shooting 10-14 (3-4 3PTM 10-10 FT) in a %s dominatrix.  My safe word is “gimme more assists!”  A huge Sunday sendoff and a big bounce back from that Turd Ferguson earlier in the week against the Pacers.  He’s a guy I bet a lot of scuffling teams dropped while streamboating in the playoffs and should be owned in your title run.  Not to be confused with your “tittie run”, which might be the most enjoyable 5K anyone could come up with it.  Here’s what else I saw over the busy weekend in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s been a year long punching bag.  Larry Drew sucks, he has no idea how to grow a young team, and because he plays guys different minutes every night the Bucks are atrocious and have no cohesion.  But that’s nothing new, as he was awarded the first Razzball Worst NBA Coach Razzie.  It’d be a wonder if he could do anything right!  Yesterday, I said Ramon Sessions might be the best player on that team (and he got a ridiculous 20 minutes to show for it Sunday), and Larry Screw actually paid attention to my advice!  Sessions started last night against the Clips, played 44 minutes, making the most of it.  Shot a ridiculous 13-21 (2-3 3PTM) for 28/6/7.  While this game was nice, and I maintain he’s probably the best fantasy asset on the Bucks right now, he’s not necessarily the best pickup.  The Bucks have only two more games this week, Thursday against the Lakers (which you obviously love) then Sunday against the Heat (not so much).  Plus it’s the Bucks and we all know how Larry Screwballs can jack things up.  I picked him up in one league just to lock down that Thursday game since it’s a light slate with only four games.  If you can afford to do that, Sessions is your man.  Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I imagine if you’re reading this, you have an injury or two on your fantasy roster, and you need promenade left to do-si-do your way into week 2. I don’t know where I’m going with this analogy, I’m more of an electric bugaloo type myself. But while I may not understand the allure of square dancing, I do understand all too well how an injury can derail your playoff hopes. I lost Kyrie Irving, and Jameer Nelson this week, and I will be hard pressed to make it past my opponent. There are more cats out than just those two: LaMarcus Aldridge, Dwight Howard, Nikola Pekovic, Andre Drummond, Jonas Valanciunas, Jamal Crawford, and the list goes on. So what’s a fantasy owner to do? You already know the answer, and it sucks the sack: Captain Obvious reminds you that you have to look long and hard at your situation, and decide whether you can afford to hold onto your injured player, or to drop him, because he can’t help you if you don’t make it to the semis. Of the few I just listed, only Kyrie, Jamal, LaMarcus and Nikola are pretty much guaranteed to be out for the weekend at least, perhaps into the semi finals week, so take that into consideration. If you do decide to drop somebody, here’s, in my opinion, the best of the waiver:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yet another start for the Gorgui Apparatus, with Gorgui Dieng going all out with a Goromotaro!  I have to say, definitely the most unexpected Goromotaro since the term was coined.  22/21/4/1/0 and double-doubles in his last three games.  Except this was a double double-double.  There’s so many Ds in that sentence you’d think I was daydreaming about Tyra Banks!  And while Gorgui is out proving that he’s America’s Next Top C, what are doing right now in crunch time of fantasy?  He’s a tough guy to leave on the wire, but the Wolves only have Sunday left this week, and Nikola Pekovic is traveling with the team.  Pek is questionable, but Dieng has given the team every excuse to keep the youngun out there with pretty much no realistic expectations to make the playoffs.  So unless you’ve got a bye with a real scrub and you can stash Gorgui and hope for another big upside game, or your line-up is virtually full Friday and Saturday, you’re probably letting him ride in 10 or 12ers H2H.  Roto he’s worth a spin and if you’re crushing it in week 1 of the playoffs, maybe worth a stache as well.  Oh no, Grey has me daydreaming about baseball!  Mmmmm, Tyra Banks and baseball.  Get out of my head Grey!  What will be really interesting next year is what the Wolves do up front with Kevin Love having an uncertain future and Pek a FA.  Dieng would probably be a really flashy flyer if he projects to start.  Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?