The Lakers. The Bucks. Two terrible teams enter. Only one team wins (well, actually neither of these teams are winners, unless you count if they get the first pick in next year’s draft, I guess winning the lottery is something…). Two horrible teams with fast-paced awfulness where we see flashes of fantasy goodness. And we got another taste of the sweet nectar that is Jordan Hill when given playing time! 31 minutes for 28/16/0/1/0 shooting a ridiculous 13-17. With 9 of those boards offensive, Hill was abusing the paint and his shot chart around the rim looked like a rash in Kim Kardashian’s nethers. Everyone that has watched the Lakers lately (a number that has decreased significantly, and would even more without fantasy!) knows Hill should be starting the 4 every night, and it’s taken way too long for D’Antoni to finally go back to him. Even Hill is confused about his playing time based on his profile pic… No Pau Gasol at least for tonight, and Chris Kaman barely arriving on time to last night’s game due to personal reasons might have put a craw in Doh-toni’s gears. There was a report they hadn’t talked in weeks before Tuesday’s game. Before that, Kobe Bryant said he hadn’t talked to D’Antoni in a while during his rant. The Lakers coach is running this team like it’s freshman year of high school. “OMG, like, Mike hasn’t put me in the game, so like, I stopped talking to him and, like just started posting memes on the internet!” I knew it was Kaman! You’re playing with fire, but for guys widely available, if you have a roster spot open Hill is as good as any to give you a really high upside double double tonight. Against the Wolves should be a pretty free flowing game, so let’s all hope Jordan stays over the Hill before we bury Mike D’Anotni underneath it. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before this playoff roster post gets too out of control I have a few things to say that will hopefully help to put things into perspective. Like how this is based off of daily roster changes, 9-cat, H2H, you know, like the RCLs. First off, everyone’s playoff needs are entirely dependent on the makeup of their roster. It should be noted that this isn’t just about maximizing games, it’s also about helping to make up for our deficiencies. For example, If I had Chris Paul on my team then I’m only going to get 2 games in the first round. If I want to win let’s say assists, then I need to stream accordingly. Second, I’m going to use the saying, “heavy day”. While trying my hardest to avoid the feminine hygiene jokes I will be referring to whether or not that days NBA schedule has a lot of teams playing or just a few. This is important because on most heavy days you usually won’t need to stream a player or you may have a player you won’t get much from. For instance Boston plays Mon, Wed, Fri next week and Wed, Fri, Sun the following week. Wed and Fri are always heavy days and depending on the rest of your roster you may only get 1 game each week from say… Jerryd Bayless. That would make him just about useless. Third, I’m going to use 3-letter abbreviations for teams and days of the week. Otherwise this would get far too unwieldy to read and I would have to learn how to spell all of those cities. That’s not going to happen, isn’t learning the names of players enough?Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, I would wager that most of you have passed the trade deadline, if your league has one. And it should. Nothing sparks a conspiracy theorist like an “uneven” trade between a contender and a team out of contention 2 weeks from the playoffs. If you are in a league that still allows trades, have your hand hovering over the “bullsh*t” button when trades come across the wire.
But what do you do when you have a player that needs replacing? The waiver is your saviour! Check these cats out if you need some last minute replacing:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man. Am I sorry if anyone had to watch Battle: Los Angeles last night. I hated that movie and actually would rather have watched that again than the atrocity in Staples. Reggie Miller was having so much fun dogging that game. I was saying that it was like watching an All-Star game at the office, then either Miller or Kerr then said the same thing! Followed by, “well, except all the All-Stars are on one team!” Lakers burn! El Burro, I hope you’re around, because I’d love a rant from this game from a true Lakers fan. Sure there have been worse NBA blowouts, but man, that was straight up Cornell going on the road to Wichita State. Even that would be a lot better to watch! I’m not taking much to heart fantasy-wise in the 48-point romp of blue/red over yellow/purple, but my main takeaway was that Kendall Marshall still got a 7/4/7 line in 24 minutes and Jordan Farmar was awful in his 21 minutes. I’m a big Farmar hater, and think Marshall is actually a little underrated right now. Marshall as we all know was playing well in big minutes earlier in the year, and I think can get back to the 30ish range. And even if he falls short of that, the dimebags will afloweth like a Denver dispensary. Cash cow business for the Girl Scout cookie industry as well! Probably should’ve had a few Girl Scouts paroling the Staples Center last night. “Eat your pities away, Lakers fans!” “A peanut butter delight won’t disappoint you at all!” Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yup, bringing that back! Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest. Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes. Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line. This is what I envisioned all season! I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year. It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners. If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship. So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home. “Thanks Mrs. H…” My name is JB! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man! So many places to go with a title like that… Last night we had two virtually 100%-owned big men step back on the hardwood in Derrick Favors and Andrew Bogut. Let’s start first with Aussie Aussie Aussie who had his typical Oi Oi Oi multi-cat line for 4/7/4/1/1. Played 29 minutes which is very encouraging, but did foul out. The big man fouls were rough in this one! Both starting 4/5s combined for 10 fouls in Golden State at Detroit. Mark Jackson pre-game must’ve been like, “pretend you’re all Artest and the Pistons just threw a beer on you!” I remain high on Bogut for his multi-cat walkabouts. Then to Favors – who had been doing fantasy owners no Favors with his bum hip – but lit it up in his return last night for 8-9 FG (4-4 FT) 20/4/1/0/3 in 29 you-couldn’t-ask-for-better minutes. Hopefully his hip can hold up the rest of the season! And hopefully he doesn’t Favor too much on the other one. Womp womp. Worst joke of the year! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, it’s been a grueling season for a few of my fantasy teams. I’m like Oliver Twist out there. “Please, sir, give me some fantasy-more!” But it’s always nice seeing one of my boys go out there and have himself a career weekend, like Mike Scott who put up 20 on Friday then a career-high 30 on Saturday. #EmojiTats! In 30 minutes (he scored a 30 for 30) shot 11-14 including 6-7 from deep. Somebody step out on this guy! Reminds me of when the old UNCW coach would keep our hapless defense in zone when the opps were hitting threes. I remember when you were against us, Kent Bazemore! Oh man, I gootta elaborate more on that… Anyway, Scott went 30/8 with no other stats so it was a major-ThrAGNOF! And remember, ThrAGNOF isn’t derogatory unless it’s one of those high-ranked guys. Looking at you Klay Thompson. Scott got the start for Paul Millsap whose knee is all syrupy, and Scott could pick up another start or two early this week. Why you don’t need to draft threes! Grab your kilt, prep your best Mel Gibson, and ride with your fellow Scott against the Longshanks. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sooooo… Last night just happened. It was the wildest night of fantasy hoops that I could ever remember. Sure my memory isn’t exactly like Ken Jennings, but yea… Definitely going to break the “what the hey?!” record! The Fantasy Basketball world just stood still. It was just like the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Is that Keanu Reeves? What is Jaden Smith doing here? Wait, is this an actual plot? There’s just too much crazy to care about these special effects! There were like, a million three pointers last night. Tony Wroten had a triple double. Ok, who had Wroten in the triple-double pool? I think if you had bet on that in Vegas you coulda turned a dollar into owning the state of Nevada. 18/10/11 while shooting 7-18. A lot of Philly stats got boosted by the Rockets pace, and if you hadn’t heard yet, Michael Carter-Williams was a very late scratch with a sore foot. What are they feeding these guards in Philly? I think it’s obvious that to be a good NBA PG you must diet solely on cheesesteaks. But enough meandering, let’s go straight into the nitty gritty, the CGI effects if you will, for the reason why you’re here:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty. With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar. Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:Please, blog, may I have some more?
K-Mart, the retail store I’m talking here, has always been a joke. The one next to campus where I went to college always got robbed and there was always someone with a gun. I know there’s a popular site People of Walmart, which would be pretty interesting for K-Mart too if there ever actually was people in K-Marts. Maybe shoppers there treat the store like Dawn of the Dead. They’re just ducking and covering, and steal supplies stealthily which is why the shelves are always empty. Well I guess they have been in the news recently because of their great Black Friday deals. Hey, if DeMarcus Cousins can’t shoot better than 1-10 or 2-10 like he has in the last two ganes, he might be in one of the lines. “We’re moving to Seattle, but we’re not taking you!” Good thing the NBA version’s of K-Mart showed he isn’t completely chapter 11, going a respectable 16 Pts (4-6 FG 3-5 3PTM) 4 Rebs 4 Asts and 2 Stls. Hey I just said Kevin Martin wasn’t bankrupt… Not that he is suddenly on fire! Damn K-Mart (the smoldering store). Most rebounds since Jan. 9th, first 30+ min game in 7 games, and luckily he’s still in the OKC mix. Only two games last night, but let’s check out what went down:Please, blog, may I have some more?