I don’t know why JB would do this to me. Do you know what he told me? He told me I didn’t fit in. He told me my only chance of being accepted was for me to join some program he was calling, “Avatar”. I believe his exact words were, “Yeah we can change your avatar, what were you thinking?” Wait… this was my idea? Was it me who asked him to take my sexy, bearded, aboriginal face and join it with my real life sexy, bearded, non-aboriginal face? I can’t tell what is reality and what is a dream anymore. All I do know is that in this world of mixed mediums, my body, or as JB keeps calling it, my “Avatar”, is merely a shell for my one track mind. A mind dedicated only to fantasy basketball; unfortunately sometimes this mind can wonder. Wonder back to yesteryear when Patrick Beverley was a sleeper or when Alec Burks was supposed to start for the Jazz. In an attempt to relieve those nostalgic days, I present to you my beginning of the season All Under-Owned Team. My cutoff was 30% owned in Yahoo leagues and hopefully with season-long appeal.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, there’s certainly been no lack of news this past week! No fantasy sport is safe from injuries, even in the preseason! Well, maybe fantasy fishing (yes, I’ve played it!).
As reported everywhere, even on tweens.com (I hope that’s not a real site and/or not an illegal site! Not gonna find out in my web history!), Kevin Durant has a broken bone in his foot, and the initial timetable in 6-8 weeks. But of course given it’s KD, and we’re nearing the home stretch of the fantasy drafting window, there’s all sorts of shrouds of uncertainty. First there’s surgery vs. non-surgery, which I’m guessing the latter involves rum and Jobu, but I’m no voodoo. Despite my limited knowledge on Jones fractures, I am hoping he opts for the surgery. If he doesn’t get it, it seems like Durant is playing with fire. We saw the Thunder bring back Westbrook earlier than expected last year with his knee issues, then he suffered re-injury (of course, causation is merely speculative). Which leads to point number two – either way you look at it surgery vs. non-surgery, Jones fractures are all sorts of tricky. Lingering issues, re-injuring it, it’s all up in the air. My perspective is Durantula has been healthy for virtually his whole career, spanning 7 seasons. So I’m optimistic he can be a fast healer, and splitting the difference of 6-8 weeks to 7 weeks out. Given when news broke, that’s missing just over a month of the regular season.
In my re-ranks I published yesterday, I only moved KD down to 2 with Anthony Davis up to #1 (side note - found this article with NBA MVP odds, how can I hop in on this?! Brow 25/1?! I’ll throw $10 on him to win $250!). In H2H, if you’re a confident manager, you can stream and bear a .500 record for a month. Then you have KD for the playoffs! I think if you try to sell right now in a panic if you’ve already drafted, or let him fall too far in your draft, you’ll be kicking yourself in the postseason. All that said, in Roto, I’m probably letting him fall until at least the middle of the first round. Having by far the best per-game player for the fantasy playoffs weeks obviously doesn’t matter. Hopefully by early next week there’s a little more clarity on Durant, and I’ll have one final rankings revision next Wednesday. Here’s what else has gone down in fantasy hoops since the last wrap-up (which will be daily during the season!):Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the full 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Rankings now complete, let’s take a look at the final 50. Sean Connery. Kevin Costner. Tons of Great Depression-esque costumes. I’d imagine if you’re in a deep league and looking at the field below with your last pick or two, you’re feeling something like this:
It’s pretty hopeless, as in 12-teamers these are all likely guys you’re merely starring on your watch list post draft. There’s some questionable talent, some questionable roles, maybe even someone that’ll give you The Grapes of Wrath, but some untapped upside! Here’s my top 200 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.
While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season. Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.
There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all know the story. Cleveland fans burn things, then stage apology videos. Yeah, let’s put the ashes from last night’s barbecue and put it on top of my LeBron James Cavs jersey and pick it up. Sooooooooooo symbolic. Somebody is already halfway through the 30 for 30 special… But I got an advanced look at LeBron’s first press event with Cavs owner Dan Gilbert:
I love what Slim said in his reaction as a Heat fan. “LeBron’s legacy will now be that of a journeyman.” BURN! Poor choice of the all caps scathing word, JB! LeBron is still the alpha dog of the NBA, but he’s now numero tres in my ranking-os… Never was too good at Spanish. I’m moving Anthony Davis up to 2 and joining Slim’s bandwagon. Even though BronBron had talent around him in Miami, he never had a point guard. Which I mean more literally than not since Mario Chalmers‘ assists look more like Billy Dee Williams’ Dancing with the Stars‘ scores than an NBA PG’s! And now LeBron’s got family on his team! I don’t mean the city of Cleveland, but Uncle Drew! They should mish mash one of those videos with drunk uncle from SNL… Anyway, Kyrie Irving is going to have some balls in his hands (cough), so LeBron will be performing less hernia tests. Kyrie’s three-year arc has been declining FG% but steadily improving Ast/TO ratios and overall dimes. More efficient with the ball, but not hitting the shots. Maybe it’s because the Cavs had no other playmakers… Iso for Anderson Varejao! Dion Waiters just blocked me on Twitter. LeBron will be a huge ease on Kyrie’s defensive pressure, however stemming from that – if Kyrie is hot, he shootin’! Both will have great final numbers, but a little inconsistent game-to-game. LeBron should see his dimes go down a tick as well. Here’s a look at the rest of the free agency movement and some key notes from Summer League:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just like I was telling JB a few days ago, there just isn’t enough time left. He doesn’t have enough time to prepare for the coming zombie apocalypse just like I don’t have enough time to tell you a story loosely based on fictional people and places. My goal is to ensure everyone reading this makes the playoffs in their leagues and there isn’t enough time to talk about underground bunkers and if George A. Romero was really a psychic time traveler who had come from the future to teach us how to stop the coming apocalypse. Instead here are 12, wait, 1,2,3… yeah, 12 widely available weekend streamers that I think could swing a close match in your favor. Who you need all depends on how you’re doing against your opponent and be they a Romero zombie, a 28 days later zombie, or even Billy Connolly, then maybe an add from this list can help you survive one more week.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s weird enough that the basketball team that plays in Utah is called the Jazz. I’ve never been to Salt Lake City, but I’m preeetttyyy suuurrree that it’s not crawling with disciples of Miles Davis and Thelonious Monk.
Now, said weirdness is multiplied by the recent resurgence of Enes Kanter, which very well could ensure the continuance of a veritable Ottoman Empire at the Utah Jazz center position.
No, it hasn’t lasted 624 years, and no it hasn’t swallowed 32 provinces and all kinds of vassal states in Southeast Europe, Western Asia, the Caucasus, North Africa and the Horn of Africa.
But between Mehmet Okur and Kanter, the paint has been patrolled by a native of Turkey for the last 10 years.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Glen Davis went to the pre-season Magic weigh-in, the trainer was like, “355 Big Baby, really?” “These hips don’t lie!” And in a very full slate of games last night, we had two pretty premiere big men have their hips not lie and go out on them. “Help I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” The NBA to start issuing players life alerts to wear around their necks. DeMarcus Cousins was the first to succumb to the AARP ailment. Suffered a left hip flexor, but coach Mike Malone said it probably wasn’t serious. Destiny is like, “wait a ‘left’ hip? I thought, like, for people we had only one hip!” No child left behind fails us yet again. Good thing it’s the All-Star break for Boogie! An All-Star Boogie! Dude, that should totally be an event. Breakdance Horse! Hah. Then Derrick Favors went out and re-aggravated his right hip that had caused him to miss games here and there over the past month. This one is a lot less bueno. But hey, DeMarcus and Derrick have a pair of healthy hips! If only they were siamese twins – they’d get, like, 35 rebounds a game. Favors will likely get an MRI and be brought along very slowly since this is a re-aggravation. Enes Kanter to the rescue! Might get some solid run and deserves love in a lot of leagues. And don’t sleep on Rudy Gobert in deep leagues if you need some blockage. Speaking of blockage, look at some of the traffic photos of NC from yesterday. No one learned from Atlanta! And the best basketball game on the slate, UNC-Duke, cancelled. Travesty. Let’s get this global warming going again! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, the Feds are after you. Your Ponzi scheme and billions of dollars are up for seizure. Well, that, or your $20 league dues and your friends sending you obnoxious texts about how you’re not going to the playoffs. So if you’re in H2H and in this shortened week, what is a Madoff to do? How about putting in a quick grab of Chris Kaman, who has erected himself into surging fantasy relevance. Too far JB! A raging 25/14/4/1/3 line last night, taking a whopping team-high 24 shots. That’s now three straight games of at least 17 Pts, 8 Rebs, 3 Asts and 2 Blks. That’s the floor! While tonight’s slate is pretty jam-packed, Thursday is a light one. With the Lakers one of the few teams in action, Kaman could really make the difference this week for ya in Pts and Blks. While he does have a shelf life whence Pau Gasol returns, if Gasol is indeed traded I think Kaman has played well enough to stick. Of course you never know with Doh-toni, but Robert Sacre isn’t exactly a guy to be developed for a long-term future and they don’t have any other true 5s. So don’t be afraid to stash some of your free cash in the Kaman islands. While he is owned in 43% of Yahoo leagues already (a bit shocking to me it had hopped up that fast), there’s plenty of IRS-free banks left to stash him up. Here’s what else I saw last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?