H2H Playoffs are here!  But geez, the amount of DNPs for minor injuries and general soreness (General Soreness!) over the weekend was infuriating!  Unless they hit your oppo harder than you, then they were infatuating!  I certainly almost lost a playoff spot to the former…

I guess our main stop on the DNP bandwagon would be the Atlanta Hawks and that darned Coach Butthole.  I imagine we’ll be using that nickname for Budenholzer a ton down the stretch!  The Hawks sat Jeff Teague, DeMarre Carroll and Paul Millsap (who had a nasty 23/9/3/3/3 rainbow Friday) last night, then had Kyle Korver break his nose and have to leave early on top of it.  Korver was already set for a DNP tonight, so there’s that, and Al Horford owners will have to start the week with a DNP-rest.  What a shizz-show!  Which kinda sounds like Szechuan.  Which makes me hungry…  About as hungry as Dennis Schroder looks when he gets starts, ripping apart the Lakers in a 24/3/10 line hitting 7-16 FG (1-5 3PTM 9-11 FT).  Even if you’re not a Teague owner, I think it’s impossible to leave the German on the wire.  It would just improve The Lives of Others!  And Coach Butthole has learned from Pop himself to sit everyone any chance he gets, with that line of thinking infecting the entire league this weekend.  It already feels like the last week of the season, doesn’t it?!  Maybe the playoffs need to start in week 10…  Sheesh…  Here’s what else went down on DNP Weekend in fantasy basketball:

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Man, at this rate Rudy Gobert might cost me a 2nd round pick!

“Rudy Gobert, the interior trance from France, the reason who is Parisian, the… the…” OK I’m out of boxer intro phrases.  He’s just really redonk good, going 19/22/2/0/4, just one point from a Goro!  And you can’t even say “just one more made FT” as he made all 3 of em!  8-11 FG, 3-3 FT, only one TO, and the Gobi desert has claimed the lives of another opposing frontline!

We all knew he’d be good, but I don’t think too many people thought he’d be this good.  Of those waiver-wire-added big men that have found their way to fantasy glory this year, I think it’s easily becoming Gobert as the front runner in 2015-16 Fantasy drafts.  You could say, he’s already working his way into my #1 sleeper glory hole.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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The tennis balls are off the legs, the HurryCane back in the closet, the pre-game meal eaten at 5:00 AM at the early bird special – we’ve got Kemba Walker back!

After a month and a half off, Walker came off the bench last night for the Hornets, and looked like Louis C.K.’s nethers.  Rusty.  2-9 from the field for 6/1/2/0/1 with a TO in 16 minutes.  While there’s no need to be harsh – we expected some rust after knee surgery – but Mo Williams played pretty well with 8 dimes and Gerald Henderson shocked the world with a career-high 11 assists.  Ok, “shocked the world” may be a slight overstatement, I could say “it was so shocking it blew all his hair off!”  It’s certainly interesting he had a previous career-high 9 dimes just last Sunday, so now there’s two facilitators to battle with.  Makes me worried about Kemba’s assists upside, and he’s kinda looking like an Isaiah Canaan clone.  Wait, I said I didn’t need to be harsh!  That said, Kemba is healthy and has a lot more upside, so obviously worth owning everywhere.  I just wouldn’t be shocked (unlike Hendo’s dimebag!) if he’s towards the end of the line if you’re killing Pts/3s and need to stream a stat at the end of week one of the playoffs…  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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…It’s like the beginning of a 1950s B&W horror movie.  “As I recall it was a horror film!”

“…From the depths of the muck – ya know, that soft clay shizz at the bottom of a lake – comes the waiver-wired, until recently available in a ton of leagues, RODNEY STUCKEY!”

Monster game from R-Stuck, who gets to R-Stick it to a hot Reality-TV show wife, unquestioningly motivating him to a 34/6/7/1/1 line last night with an NBA Jam “he’s on fire!” 13-19 FG and 6 treys.  Just a redonk game in 31 bench minutes, especially since the Pacers started Damjan Rudez who couldn’t miss either, hitting 6-8 including 5-7 from deep.  It’s like the Pacers were playing on Fisher-Price baskets!  Although those “throwback” (well, just older, not too throwback) unis are schweet.  While a big game and all, Stuckey was averaging a monstrous 0.6 3PTM a game before last night, so a huge anomaly there.  1,000% more 3s!  And the dimes were an outlier as well, with only two games more than 6 before yesterday.  Anyone in the NBA can get hot on any given night, and Stuckey is a good low-to-mid-teens scorer ala that creeper who stayed home instead of going to college.  He’s fine as a last guy on your bench in 10 or 12ers, but I don’t think he’s someone to drop a stud for.  A great comment yesterday was Stuckey or Brandon Knight, who was spotted on crutches yesterday.  Yeah, unless you have a H2H week one bye, I’ll probably pick the guy who can currently walk.  Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy hoops action:

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Who knows, maybe devoting his soul to the lord of the Sith is what got Hassan Whiteside to where’s he’s at!

Absolutely terrible flagrant-2 last night to the back of Kelly Olynyk, hit-sticking him into the cameramen.  L3, L3!  Friend of the Podcast Mike Gallagher from Rotoworld tweeted out a great vine showing the hit from two angles, and I think that’s maybe a judo elbow he learned from Tekken.  On top of his lingering kankle issues, now we have to assume a game or two out via suspension.  Certainly doesn’t helped he tackled Alex Len a few games ago, with Whiteside’s flagrants turning into an MMA reel.  As Slim and I mentioned on the Pod, Whiteside throws his body around willy-nilly and it’s starting to catch up with him with the physical play from oppos.  Gotta control those emotions, young padawan!  “Concentrate!”  Just has to get the last few mental things together to be an elite NBA big.  Can you do that, Hassan?!  “I’ll try.”  “No!  There is no try!  Do.  Or do not.”  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Crazy game in OKC last night!  It was a crazy night across the board!  For a while I thought the Sixers were really going to pull that one out – had the lead most of regulation and then clawed back late – but Russell Westbrook playing like Michael Jordan these days got the Thunder the OT win.

Behind all of RW’s historical hooblah which we’ll go into later, is Isaiah Canaan‘s career game.  Career best 31 points on 10-16 FG (8-13 3PTM 3-3 FT) 31/7/6/1/0.  And of course he does that right after I said you’d rather own Ish Smith!  And Ish did ish in 15 minutes…  All that said, Canaan had 29 early in the 4th and the Sixers couldn’t figure out ways to consistently get their hot shooter the rock.  The continuity was awful with Philly only staying in the game by taking some horrible deep 3 pointers with no spacing or rebounders.  It felt like one of those college intramural games where the much better team was struggling because the other team’s scrubs kept hitting 3s for some reason.  Did I say intramural?  I meant more like every time Duke beats Chapel Hill!  Only because of the 3s…  Although Chapel Hill has trouble teaching their players the difference between “2” and “3” so there’s that…  I would still Aaron Brooks over Canaan and I’m not dropping a valuable guy just for this hot shooting game.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

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Oh man, not a fun night for Mark Cuban unless he’s also invested in the Dallas area sports medicine clinics.  The way the NBA has gone this year, it’d be a smart investment!

First into the Shark Tank was Tyson Chandler, who sprained his ankle a minute and half in and couldn’t return.  He had an earlier ankle sprain and it didn’t cost him any time, so even though it looked bad, ol’ Tyson is no Chicken.  Then a mere couple minutes later, Monta Ellis hurt his hip and only played 3 and a half minutes.  As Kevin tells us in The Office – “That’s Dallas!”  Man, good thing the All-Star Break is right around the corner!  Even if both guys say they’re 100%, I see no reason why the Mavs would push em for their game tomorrow night hosting the Jazz.  While they’re out, we’re a bunch of preying sharks circling the bloody waters like Mr. Wonderful and Herjavec!  And last night it was the hairless ghost (wait, ghosts usually don’t have hair right?) of Charlie Villanueva who piled up some junky stats hitting 9-13 from the field for 26/5/1 with 5 treys.  Was awful other than points and treys with 3-6 FT and 4 TO.  Big man ThrAGNOF!  But for me, the big winner for tomorrow night is Mark Cuban’s own (seriously, kinda seems like he’s his dadShawn Marion comp?) Al-Farouq Aminu.  Only 19 minutes last night, but hit all the cats for 5/6/1/1/1.  Mark Cuban Jr. is only owned in 10% of Yahoo leagues, and in a shortened week where every steal and block will count, he should be one of your first calls on the wire in what should be a spot-start.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

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Man, who woulda thought the Bucks without Brandon Knight (sat with minor injuries) would’ve been able to beat the Raptors last night?!  I figured that big Jurassic Park reboot trailer during the Super Bowl would have pumped the Raps up!  Well, I guess Canadians don’t really watch the Super Bowl, so their loss!

And while the 82-75 win was a defensive grinder, it didn’t slow down that impressive O from The Duchess K Middleton!  25/9/1/3/0 for Khris Middleton, hitting 10-17 FG (3-4 3PTM 2-2 FT) and only 1 TO.  All that with Jorge Gutierrez as the fill-in starting PG!  It didn’t matter though, since they had a JB waiting in the wings as well…  But more there later.  With 25 Pts last night, K-Midd is 17+ points in 4 of 5 and 3+ treys in 4 of 5.  And multi-steals in 4 of 5 for good measure as well!  Even though a lot of the counting stats are lower than the breakout last year, so are the minutes and the %s are much better.  But my favorite leap is 1.0 steals in 30 minutes last year to a whopping 1.5 in only 26 this year.  The Duchess is secretly a world-class thief!  I think Keira Knightley could star in that movie.  Larry Drew could be the evil drug lord!  Maybe Ersan Ilyasova can be a Turkish arms dealer.  The script is writing itself!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Tank city b##ch, tank tank city b##ch!  And that word edited is “beach”, because when I go to the city beach I like to see tank tops!

Ummmm, last night happened.  We’ve seen B units play big runs multiple times through the years, but I don’t know if there’s ever been a dichotomy of a team’s starters all being utterly unusable, and everyone on the second unit having fantasy-worthy games.  The world is upside down!  Then again, this is The Poppycockers we’re talking about, and they were down more points than the Dow Jones on Black Thursday.  The biggest beneficiary was Langston Hughes, I mean, Langston Galloway, who in his second NBA game after a D-League promotion went 19/4/3/1/0 hitting 6-10 FG and 3-4 3PTM.  Easy nickname bequeathed!  Galloway is now “The Harlem Renaissance”.  We gettin’ classy with these history references lately, yo!  With Jose Calderon a steaming pile of hot garbage (0/4/4/0/0 on 0-5 FG and 2 TO in 21 minutes – been saying he’s untouchable for weeks!), there’s no reason for the tankers to wreck their ship and straight Exxon-Valdez and pollute the waters.  “I can’t fly if my wings are melted off!”, Derek Fisher complained to Phil Jackson.  “Suck it up!”  Calderon is an easy asset to trade in real-life terms given a short contract shelf-life and the vet leadership (I’d hope) to be a backup.  If desperate for points, treys and steals, I could even see nabbing Galloway as a spec 14er add.  Plus you get style points like this!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy action:

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The new year brings us the glorious 2nd coming of the Durantula, again.  Kevin Durant looked better than expected going 44/10/7/0/1 with 6 3s and 12-12 FTs.  Sure you could argue the stat line was OT aided but just that Durant played 40 minutes after missing 6 games tells me there is nothing wrong with his ankle.  I imagine any buy low window is long gone after this game but he might be worth one last attempt to trade for.  If you thought this is why I watched this game though you would be wrong.  I wanted to see the Steven Adams vs Alex Len match-up.  Lurch with 9/7/1/1/0 in 27 minutes and Len with 2/6/0/0/1 in 22 minutes.  There is no question Adams is the guy to own.  Neither are part of the offense but at times Len looked bored and unsure of what he was supposed to be doing on both ends of the court.  That is a sentence I will never write about Steven Adams.  His aggression does one of two things.  The foul trouble associated will give him a few duds but it will also lead to big games which I don’t think Len has in him this year.  There were a ton of huge stat lines in this 137-134 overtime thriller but perhaps the stat that tells the biggest story was the 6 technical fouls.  Including two and an ejection for…

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