Oh man. Am I sorry if anyone had to watch Battle: Los Angeles last night. I hated that movie and actually would rather have watched that again than the atrocity in Staples. Reggie Miller was having so much fun dogging that game. I was saying that it was like watching an All-Star game at the office, then either Miller or Kerr then said the same thing! Followed by, “well, except all the All-Stars are on one team!” Lakers burn! El Burro, I hope you’re around, because I’d love a rant from this game from a true Lakers fan. Sure there have been worse NBA blowouts, but man, that was straight up Cornell going on the road to Wichita State. Even that would be a lot better to watch! I’m not taking much to heart fantasy-wise in the 48-point romp of blue/red over yellow/purple, but my main takeaway was that Kendall Marshall still got a 7/4/7 line in 24 minutes and Jordan Farmar was awful in his 21 minutes. I’m a big Farmar hater, and think Marshall is actually a little underrated right now. Marshall as we all know was playing well in big minutes earlier in the year, and I think can get back to the 30ish range. And even if he falls short of that, the dimebags will afloweth like a Denver dispensary. Cash cow business for the Girl Scout cookie industry as well! Probably should’ve had a few Girl Scouts paroling the Staples Center last night. “Eat your pities away, Lakers fans!” “A peanut butter delight won’t disappoint you at all!” Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yup, bringing that back! Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest. Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes. Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line. This is what I envisioned all season! I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year. It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners. If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship. So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home. “Thanks Mrs. H…” My name is JB! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
- – do this anymore!!!! And that’s appropriate too because when you run out of the Air Canada Centre, it turns from solid ground to ice! Both Kyle Lowry and Terrence Ross won’t be frantically chasing down kids any time soon with ankle injuries last night. Lowry still finished out the OTs, but coach Casey said it was a bad booboo. He’s had a ton of injury problems through his career, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he misses at least a couple. We’ll see after it gets re-evaluated today. Then Ross’ sounds worse, happening in the 2nd quarter and he wasn’t able to get back in. Ross can’t! Stepped on a foot and it rolled. Those are never fun. Did shoot his freebies and walk off under his own power, so there’s that. In shallow leagues, if Ross was giving you some points you sorely needed you can hold out maybe a game, but he’s probably streamable. The main takeaway is Greivis Vasquez chose the perfect game to get hot, scoring a season-high 26 for a 26/2/8/2/0 line with 4 treys which is muy bueno. Did have 6 TOs which is muy mal. With the Raptors possibly missing both Lowry and Ross Sunday against Golden State, un opporunidad is there for Vasquez to have a major stream-tastic outing. You can sneak in Pts/3s/Asts/Stls and when you win, you’re opponent is gonna be like, “clever girl!” Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, it’s been a grueling season for a few of my fantasy teams. I’m like Oliver Twist out there. “Please, sir, give me some fantasy-more!” But it’s always nice seeing one of my boys go out there and have himself a career weekend, like Mike Scott who put up 20 on Friday then a career-high 30 on Saturday. #EmojiTats! In 30 minutes (he scored a 30 for 30) shot 11-14 including 6-7 from deep. Somebody step out on this guy! Reminds me of when the old UNCW coach would keep our hapless defense in zone when the opps were hitting threes. I remember when you were against us, Kent Bazemore! Oh man, I gootta elaborate more on that… Anyway, Scott went 30/8 with no other stats so it was a major-ThrAGNOF! And remember, ThrAGNOF isn’t derogatory unless it’s one of those high-ranked guys. Looking at you Klay Thompson. Scott got the start for Paul Millsap whose knee is all syrupy, and Scott could pick up another start or two early this week. Why you don’t need to draft threes! Grab your kilt, prep your best Mel Gibson, and ride with your fellow Scott against the Longshanks. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And we’re back baby! The All-Star break in Nawleans has come and gone, with a disappointing dunk contest, no bounce passes in the skills contest (yeah, what was up with that Prez?!) and All-Star jerseys that made the finale look like an adult rec league game on a Thursday night. “Help, I think Stanley has a hernia!” I was constantly thinking to myself about the Major League quote, but the opposite. Brian Scalabrine or Matt Bonner coming into their first practice with sleeves and a hat on, and their coaches were like, “We don’t wear caps and sleeves at this level son!” Sure made that coach look stupid on Sunday night! And if you’re a Cleveland fan, you’ve got to be thinking, “Crikey wtf is going on!?” after seeing Kyrie Irving and Dion Waiters go off in their respective ASB games over the weekend. Then to see neither of them do anything against the 76ers last night! To be fair, the Cavs let their scrubs do all their damage in a blowout. So I guess if Cavs are thinking crikey, Philly fans are thinking, “if we don’t win 20 games this year, I’m giving up cheesesteaks!” Drastic? Probably. Be liking asking me to give up that delicious BBQ. Now I’m all sorts of hungry… How did this get into food? Let’s just dive right in to last night’s return to action, like how you’d dive into an all-you-can-eat Southern food buffet with mac & cheese, hush puppies, chopped BBQ, whole BBQ, biscuits & gravy, and then, and then…:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Glen Davis went to the pre-season Magic weigh-in, the trainer was like, “355 Big Baby, really?” “These hips don’t lie!” And in a very full slate of games last night, we had two pretty premiere big men have their hips not lie and go out on them. “Help I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” The NBA to start issuing players life alerts to wear around their necks. DeMarcus Cousins was the first to succumb to the AARP ailment. Suffered a left hip flexor, but coach Mike Malone said it probably wasn’t serious. Destiny is like, “wait a ‘left’ hip? I thought, like, for people we had only one hip!” No child left behind fails us yet again. Good thing it’s the All-Star break for Boogie! An All-Star Boogie! Dude, that should totally be an event. Breakdance Horse! Hah. Then Derrick Favors went out and re-aggravated his right hip that had caused him to miss games here and there over the past month. This one is a lot less bueno. But hey, DeMarcus and Derrick have a pair of healthy hips! If only they were siamese twins – they’d get, like, 35 rebounds a game. Favors will likely get an MRI and be brought along very slowly since this is a re-aggravation. Enes Kanter to the rescue! Might get some solid run and deserves love in a lot of leagues. And don’t sleep on Rudy Gobert in deep leagues if you need some blockage. Speaking of blockage, look at some of the traffic photos of NC from yesterday. No one learned from Atlanta! And the best basketball game on the slate, UNC-Duke, cancelled. Travesty. Let’s get this global warming going again! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ross can! Rosssssss can! Ross can get me the tickets! Somebody call the Police, because Terrence Ross is on fire! Or, ummm, do we call the Mounties? I plain just don’t know… But if anyone (aherm, me) had to feel the Sting of that 51-point outburst against them – out of so left field from Ross that it was out of the Pacific Ocean – then you’re certainly sending a message in a bottle to the fantasy gods asking “Whyyyyyy?!” 51/9/1/1/0 shooting 16-29 and hitting 10 Harvey’s Trays. “What’s with the sit-com references today JB?!” Yeah, no one will get that last one… Sit-coms are always fun, light, and don’t end on Sunday nights with me throwing things. “Enough about you, JB!” Damn, commenters are angry this morning! DeMar DeRozan sprained his foot in that game, and while Ross was already hot, no DeRozan helped him get hotter. “Hansel is so hot right now.” DeRozan looks like he’ll miss at least a few games – already not traveling tonight – making Ross a must-own for this week and the immediate future. The Raptors are all the sudden with 18 less shots a game (no, that’s not me throwing out an arbitrary number, that’s really DeRozan’s FGA a game!) so this is a great opportunity for Jonas Valaciunas as well to go on a solid run. Will be an interesting game tonight at Brooklyn to see how the two younguns perform. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Remember back in the day when you played Oregon Trail every waking moment? I only sorta remember because I kept getting dysentery… But I imagine an update should have the mythical creature of LaMarcus Aldridge as some sort of omnipotent deity that you hope comes to your aid. “Your wagon is stuck in quick sand, use 1 of 3 remaining LaMarcus Aldridge summons?” Hells yea! And then I need him to save my oxen. Huge game from LA last night putting up a career-high points and a sick 44/13/5/0/2 line including 14-17 FT while the crowd chanted “M-V-P” all 4th quarter. Scored the last 15 points, went 8-8 at the stripe in the last 70 seconds, all in a 5-point win. The Nuggets just had nothing for him inside when he was crashing the glass, and LA was boarding like a beast. I know he’s had a lot of Goromotaros, but almost all the boards he got in this one were in traffic. And the Nuggets were fouling him extremely hard all 4th quarter. Gonna need an ice bath! All he has to do is come to the east coast and jump in a lake. One of my worst calls of the year was my poor Aldridge ranking, but if you can’t get it right, join em! Or something like that… Traded for him in REL and in another league. I don’t know why owners were pulling a Kurt Russell and trying to Escape From L.A., but enjoy your huge stats and the first-round value you’re accruing. Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA news and action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, Andrew Bynum is Mr. Glass too… But the other way! And he’s also Mr. Franchise Killer, as the Cavs had to suspend him just to get him to stay out of the stadium. “Hey Andrew, leave the HurryCane at home today, we don’t wanna keep paying the stadium workers to put down the handicap ramps!” Just saves money across the board. Once Bynum gets waived, I think even Obama will be shaking his head at Bynum’s healthcare bills. Anyway, the obvious benefactor to that whole mess is Anderson Varejao, who after his dominating 18/25 game last night has double-digit boards in 4 of the last 5. Varejao was cleaning up the glass like he was the Unbreakable one! The leading rebounder in the NBA last year before he got hurt (at a ridiculous 14.4 a game), Varejao should be a monster in 2014. Although it does help when Nikola Vucevic is hurt and the starting center against you is Jason Maxiell. Hell, I coulda had a double double against them last night! And I don’t even have Jerry Curls! Here’s what else I saw last night across the NBA:Please, blog, may I have some more?