If you’ve gotten started with fantasy baseball, you know it’s been yet another season of horrendous closing across the MLB.  I bet Kobe Bryant could close effectively in the MLB.

Just think about it.  He has such a will to win that it made Shaq hate him, he’s got consistent mechanics, never gets hurt and would be a tall presence on the mound.  OK, so I have no idea if he can throw a fastball, but right now I’d take him in my Brewers bullpen that looks more like a joke than Joaquin Phoenix’s career as a rapper.

Kobe just went bonkers against the Hornets in the fourth quarter, scoring 23 of his 30 in the last 12 minutes.  He just couldn’t miss, hitting a couple threes, jumpers in people’s faces, and was diming when there was openings.  With the Jazz losing, the Lakers might actually get the 8th seed.  Huzzah!  Kobe has been tremendous since the whole ankle injury soap opera, not missing a beat with a bone spur in his foot actually playing more minutes to keep it loose.  He’s not only closing games for the Lakers, he’s closing the season for fantasy owners.

Here’s what else happened yesterday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’ve been keeping up with me since I took over the basketball reigns here for Razzball Nation, you know I’ve had two guys I’ve been all about.  Tobias Harris and Jonas Valanciunas.  Yes the luminescent Lithuanian (LL).  Not Latvian!  Easy mistake…  OK, so I’m not one to talk, I’m paler than an Icelander living in Seattle.  But it sounded cool when I made it up.

At the ripe young age of 20, Valanciunas is owning the post, and is doing a Tyler Hansbrough impression of what Psycho-T did in college, just throwing up shizz and getting to the line.  LL (see, this is much better than typing his name correctly every time) has been scoring double-digits a night, but hit his career-high yesterday with 24 in 41 minutes.  The crazy thing is, he took only 7 shots!  Went 16-18 at the free throw line for a splendid line of 24-10-1-1-2.  I know pounding Nene and the rest of the Wiz bigs down low isn’t exactly a huge accomplishment, but I’m gonna be all over him for next year.  And if for some reason he’s available in your league, nab him for your championship run.

Here’s what else went down across the NBA last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I was at working my job logging highlights last night for the Brooklyn Nets at Dallas Mavericks (which was on the ESPN broadcast), and there were at least 20-30 updates/mentions/ohhhhh-ing and ahhhhh-ing about the Heat Cavs game where the Heat found themselves down more than 20 only to come back and win it.  Jeff Van Gundy is like that annoying friend you keep around in your group – he does something funny half the time then irks you the other half.  On the tip-off between Chris Kaman and Brook Lopez he said, and I’m paraphrasing, “that was the worst tip in NBA history, they shouldn’t be allowed to tip off ever again!”  Pretty good stuff.  Then, and admittedly I was checking the score too, all he and the other guy were talking about was the Heat game.  What about the other fans?  Even at halftime, the crew said they would give highlights for the Thunder game and Bill Simmons was like, “no I’m watching the Heat game.”  I get it ESPN it was the biggest game of the night, but sheesh.

After a rough first half, LeBron James absolutely went off, ending his night with both a rainbow line and a triple-double going 8-22 FG (3-7 3PTM) 25 Pts 12 Rebs 10 Asts 3 Stls and 2 Blks.  If that’s not gonna win you your first round of the playoffs, then you need better ancillary players!  Ok so I’m a hypocrite and my open is all about the Heat game and nothing else… Let’s just dive right into other action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Shaun Livingston had another nice game Friday night with 13 points, 5 rebounds, 6 assists and 3 steals in 38 minutes. If you’re waiting for Kyrie Irving to return and save your team, you’re just as sad and depressing as every other Cavs fan and you may be disappointed. Don’t wait till its too late, any player is better than an injured player in the playoffs because injured players don’t play! Fact! Meanwhile, Shaun Livingston is just 12% owned and averaging 12.5 points, 6 assists and 3.5 rebounds in two games starting since Irving went down. He also chipped in 4 steals and a block in that span. Livingston is not a huge scorer, but he could provide decent value in some other categories and will get plenty of burn in the Cleveland back court if you are looking for a player to help down the stretch.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy basketball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I assume you’re reading this because you made it into the playoffs. Or you’re a big Will Shakespeare fan, drawn in by my plagiarized title. If you’re looking for Willy Shakespeare, boy, have you stumbled into the wrong part of town, so turn about, post haste, and don’t look back, anon!

If you’ve made the playoffs, however, congratulations are in order, but as the title suggests, you have a long way to go, and things can go to poop in a split second. We need to make sure none of the players on your fantasy team don’t go pulling a Brutus on you, and stab you in the back in your moment of glory! There’s got to be a guy who has been underperforming on your roster, so let’s focus on whom to watch out for, shall we?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had the unfortunate pleasure (displeasure?) of watching the Knicks get pa-rumped by the Warriors last night 92 to 63.  It was disturbing, almost laughably so.  Kinda like The Wicker Man.  Not the bees!  If only the Warriors were women in bear suits.  Sheesh get Stevie Nicks out there.  With her current body type, she could probably box out Kurt Thomas.  Fun fact: they’re both 64 years old as well.  Carmelo Anthony returned from three games off with a sore knee to go 14 and 10 but 4-15.  Maybe the knee needs more ice.  J.R. Smith got ejected for a flagrant and went 3-11 for 9 points in his 21 minutes, so it’s not like his departure was a main factor of suckage.  Kenyon Martin had a rough layup rip-check, Tyson Chandler couldn’t fend off David Lee for second chance points, and the Knicks shot 24.7% and 5-27 from 3 as a team.  The Clippers are lob city, the Knicks last night were brick city.  The Knicks will look to rebound Wednesday night against Carmelo’s former Nuggets, so I could see a nice bounce back from your NY fantasy options.  But lawdy.  Was a pretty nauseating performance from one of the NBA’s “better” teams.

Here’s what else happened last night in the fantasy basketball-o-sphere:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I love all fantasy sports.  Baseball might be my favorite, just because it’s so long and hard and there’s so many guys to choose from…

But there are moments, fleeting highlights and moments, that I think make Fantasy Basketball special.  Like yesterday, with DeAndre Jordan absolutely murdah-ing Brandon Knight on the alley.  If you’re on your computer, just go to ESPN or NBA.  I mean Daaaaahhhhuuuummmm.  Lots of twitters about it, but my favorite might have been from Knight himself: “It wasn’t in the scouting reports that the clippers threw lobs lol”.  Hah!  Glad to see he isn’t in a deep depression.  Makes it more fun that everyone can smile about it.  ESPN then had a top ten of posterized moments.  All the others looked like the posterizee was about to kill the posterizer.  I’m 6’7 and I got posterized once by a guy the same height, but I didn’t know he had hops.  I just smiled and went my way, and luckily everyone didn’t go nuts/it wasn’t in front of 15,000 people.  Or else I’d be more Patrick Ewing than Brandon Knight.

Fantasy-wise, Jordan is still the barely-ownable center he has been all year.  You should get a bonus for posterized dunks.  Had one of his best games of late going 5-5 13 Pts 7 Rebs 1 Ast and 2 Blks.  Been at least 7 and 5 with a block the last five.  If you need blocks plus want to be on the edge of your seat if you only watch highlights of players on your team, give Jordan a look if he’s available.

Here’s what else went down over the weekend:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings Razzball nation! It is I, Tehol Beddict, your indebted servant, scrutinizing player performances yet again to help you win your fantasy league. Let’s just say that Chris Bosh has had a trying last few days. The guy already gets blasted mercilessly for his resemblance to prehistoric creatures, flaccid rebounding numbers and his many peculiar moments on camera, some which of are on this video.

Please, blog, may I have some more?