I’m pretty sure Stephen Curry looks at fantasy ADPs.  He’s like, “I’m not a runaway consensus #1, and this labradoodle Brow IS?!”

Of course I started writing this open when Anthony Davis was 1-16, then he got red hot AND MADE TWO IN A ROW!  Somebody cool him off, he’s NBA Jam on fire!  Brow was more uncomfortable with the ball in his hands than watching Scary Movie 2 with your parents last night, wrapping up with a 4-20 FG outing.  Might be the worst reference to 420 I’ve ever seen!  10-15 FT helped salvage some points – and he got his 3 swats – but 18/6/2/0/3 with 5 TO and a deathstroke to your FG% is not what the #1 pick ordered.  Curry on the other hand treated New Orleans like Hurricane Katrina!  Too rough?  Fine, then he treated them like BP…   Yikes, Nawleans has had a rough ride.  Then their NBA team has everyone get hurt!  Steph just straight whipped it out (I mean his MVP trophy!) and pummeled the Pelicans and their awful PG for 40/6/7/2/0 on 14-26 FG (5-12 3PTM 7-7 FT).  Hey, it’s opening night, and the Warriors are phenomenal at disrupting big men.  And the Pelicans had all their PG minutes played by guys on the street a week ago.  Hopefully you own Curry in a league or two, and I’m literally about to spam Brow owners as hard as LinkedIn emails.  Seriously, I don’t care if some recruiter looked at my profile, I don’t need an email on that ish!  No, no, blurb on Ish Smith is later…  What an awful Pelicans team…  Here’s what else went down on NBA’s opening night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I think I used that title a couple of years ago in the season intro post, did something similar last year, and was thinking of something new this season…  But F it!  I’m too excited, IT ALL STARTS HERE BABY!

The 2015-16 season starts tonight, with the Pistons going at the Hawks, Pelicans going at the champ Warriors, and the bigun – Cavs at Bulls.  A very nice slate to kick it off, but I wanted Nets at 76ers!  That’s a premiere matchup right there!  All of our hopes and dreams for the year start this evening (hyperbole police are after me!), with my optimism for an REL title, everyone’s yearning for the RCL title, and my year-long nervousness my ranks look good in April.  Would it be narcissistic if I win the RCL title to put myself in the RCL hall of fame?!  It would be like Heisman awarding himself the first Heisman!  Or something like that…  I’m all talk though, we all know Slim is going to be in the top-10 yet again with me lower on the master table in disdain…

If you missed it yesterday afternoon, our 15-16 lineup features several awesome new writers and you can check out our weekly schedule of content for the season.  The size of that hyperlink mimics my excitement for our articles this year!  Trust me, I’m not compensating for something…

And I’d like to thank all of you out there in Razzball Nation for bringing legitimacy to the phrase/cliche I’ve used on the kickoff post for three straight years: 15-16 is going to be our biggest year yet!  We’ve grown a ton, and I couldn’t be more thankful to you readers and commenters.  Can’t wait for opening tip…  LET’S GET THIS GOIN’!  Here’s a few thoughts on the opening night matchups:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yeah. It goes like this right here. It’s the return of the writings of Slim! That reminds of an Outkast song, and that song reminds me of 1998. If you don’t remember it was the year we learned there was yet another way to be disgusted by a cigar. That near, far, wherever you are you probably found yourself at some point rooting for the most unlikeliest of protagonists, Billy Zane. And of course it was the year the ‘Blue Screen of Death‘ truly became a meme, long before anyone knew what a meme was.

Gangstaaaaa… It’s the return… turn…

In the NBA draft that year there were 3 guys drafted that are still playing and should one day be in the Hall of Fame. I’ll give you a hint, the top 3 draft picks were Michael Olowokandi, Mike Bibby, and Raef LaFrentz, and if you were playing fantasy basketball back then you might have gone all-in on one of them. Give up? They are Vince Carter, Dirk Nowitzki, and Paul Pierce. Pick number 5, 9, and 10 respectively. That’s not to say great players aren’t drafted 1st, but the only thing guaranteed when you are first overall is a whole boat load of money. Something about the use of the word ‘only’ there doesn’t quite feel right.

Return… Ganstuhuhuh… It’s the re…

It seems so easy to see when you’re talking time traveling, something mind unraveling. Get Down. It’s a whole lot harder to do here and now using some funky combination of math, logic, illogical fandom, a random number generator, and of course the occasional dart throw. For some reason though, after about an hour on 350 (or about 176c) it develops a creamy caramel colored crust. Once it cools, just cut it up and consume. So here’s you’re 1st taste. Slim’s, I can’t believe I’m writing this in 3rd person, RCL playoff schedule post.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah, the late-round fliers!  Which I think is “fliers”.  A lot of the time, I almost write it “flyers”.  Zach LaVine is a late round flyer!  Eesh, being a married man makes you start getting reallllll corny with the jokes.

So as I’ve mentioned a few times getting through the top 100 (Rank 1-10 | Rank 11-20 | Rank 21-50 | Rank 51-75 | Rank 76-100), there just isn’t many warm bodies out there to call “JB’s late sleepers”.  And, well, a lot of that is because I have guys that are ranked in the 100s on Yahoo and ESPN in my mid-rounds (cough, Jordan Clarkson – ESPN 99 Yahoo 144, what the hey?! aherm, cough cough – I’ve caught the plague!), while just as much is the lack of sexy rookies in good situations.  Jahlil Okafor is awful for fantasy.  D’Angelo Russell loves talking 401ks with Josh Smith by the turnovers at the breakfast buffet.  Stanley Johnson looks awesome, but Detroit has a bigger wing mix than Bdubs.  Asian zing – that one my jam!

With these final rounds of players, it’s also important to factor in league size.  These ranks are [hoping to tailor] for a 12-team league, so I’ll reach for a tad more upside the later we go than go for stability.  Tristan Thompson is going to be mad consistent for some points and boards for the very deep leagues, but lordy he’ll be unownable in a 12er.  You’re fired!  Can’t believe this Trump stuff is still going on…  Anyway, here’s the Top 150 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So we’re out of the top-50, it’s time to start playing it riskier!  Although, there’s still some pretty boring vets in this range, but it’s mainly because they have to go somewhere…  Kinda like those stupid sheep tiles in Catan.  Man, I hate that game…  It’s glorified dice without the money, and replace swagger with my nerd friend saying “mad sheep-game!” every time his hotel gets some sheep cards…  Worst game ever.

Anyway, it’s cliche to say “you can win your leagues with strong mid-round breakouts”, so I’ll just say “it certainly helps getting your mid-round picks right than getting busts!”  Oh man, if that’s not award winning analysis, I don’t know what is…  Here’s the Top 75 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Christopher Nolan fan.  I remember in early middle school, Memento blew me away; a year or two later I made my mom take me to see Insomnia and she probably thought I was nuts…  And again I was blown away by tour-de-force acting and a great character study.

Then of course came all the Batmans which were great, even though the third one had, well, a few issues that the Honest Trailer people figured out.  And I even really liked Inception even though it also had some problems.

And then we get Interstellar.  Nolan doing sci-fi.  Check.  About space.  Check.  About the future.  Check.  And man was I mad!  It’s like no one read the script except Nolan, who is apparently going nuts!  Really the only thing about the movie that isn’t flawed is the amazing score by Hans Zimmer, who is the man.  It’s also shot really well…

So I decided to go back and watch Interstellar and find 50 plot holes (sure, some may be more “issues” than “plot holes”) and connect them using metaphors – like how the movie uses the metaphor for human love to explain everything – to fantasy basketball.  The plot holes that really grinded my gears are in italics.

FULL DISCLOSURE!  I’m not going to watch the Honest Trailer for Interstellar until I’m done!

If this isn’t your viewing companion next time you watch Interstellar, then I don’t know what is… Here we go:

(note – if I really need to say “spoiler alert” for a post like this if you haven’t seen it, then that might be your issue…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You don’t mess with the Bojan!

We’re into week 2 of the standard H2H playoffs, moving into the semis, and the squads with bye weeks are hoping to avoid the layover letdown.  It’s like the NCAA Football championship thingy, the playoffs or bracket or 4-team finals or whatnot, who knows anymore?!  But they have to wait like 4 months from their final regular season game to the title!  That’s how long this week has seemed for my sitting around, lazy, bored bye week teams (speaking vicariously of course, I had zero!).  Luckily it’s now how you enter the playoffs but how you exit, and with only two weeks left, you gotta ride the hot ThrAGNOFs!  Bojan Bogdanovic fits the bill to a T (did I say that right?) with 12+ points in 4 straight and 17+ in 3 of 4.  Also has chipped in multi-treys in the past 3 and if treys or points are a need, it’s time to ThrAGNOF!  Why you don’t pay for these guys, as they literally grow on trees.  Seriously, Bogdanovic’s great uncle was Groot.  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Thunder just can’t catch a break this season. Kevin Durant is still out with a foot injury and now Serge Ibaka will join him on the sidelines.

Ibaka underwent surgery this week to help address discomfort in his knee. Apparently, Ibaka had been experiencing soreness since February. Despite setting up a management plan to help alleviate the pain, the Thunder ultimately decided that surgery was the best option.

Ibaka is expected to be out between four and six weeks. If all goes well in his recovery, Ibaka should be able to return for the Thunder’s first round series, should they hold off the Pelicans for the eighth playoff spot.

As a result of the timeline, Ibaka’s regular season is over. He’s safe to drop in redraft leagues. Ibaka’s MRI prior to the surgery revealed no structural or long-term issues so Ibaka is a great keeper for next season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

March Madness Razzball Logo

Happy St. Patty’s Razzball Nation!  Who doesn’t picture Warwick Davis with claws when they drink 15 Guinesses?

For the third straight year, we’ll be having an awesome Razzball Hoops March Madness bracket pool, joinable through the magic of that link-ity link right there.  And for the prize, I decided to go with something more desirable than money.  Or power.  Or fame.  Ok, well probably not as good as anyadat, but the winner will get a prestigious spot in the Razzball Elite League!  We’ve got a few spots opening up for next season, so the winner of the Bracket will get their first choice of the team to take over.  So hop in today, may the cinderellas be with you, and good luck Razzball Nation!  Oh yeah, NBA… Here’s what went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

H2H Playoffs are here!  But geez, the amount of DNPs for minor injuries and general soreness (General Soreness!) over the weekend was infuriating!  Unless they hit your oppo harder than you, then they were infatuating!  I certainly almost lost a playoff spot to the former…

I guess our main stop on the DNP bandwagon would be the Atlanta Hawks and that darned Coach Butthole.  I imagine we’ll be using that nickname for Budenholzer a ton down the stretch!  The Hawks sat Jeff Teague, DeMarre Carroll and Paul Millsap (who had a nasty 23/9/3/3/3 rainbow Friday) last night, then had Kyle Korver break his nose and have to leave early on top of it.  Korver was already set for a DNP tonight, so there’s that, and Al Horford owners will have to start the week with a DNP-rest.  What a shizz-show!  Which kinda sounds like Szechuan.  Which makes me hungry…  About as hungry as Dennis Schroder looks when he gets starts, ripping apart the Lakers in a 24/3/10 line hitting 7-16 FG (1-5 3PTM 9-11 FT).  Even if you’re not a Teague owner, I think it’s impossible to leave the German on the wire.  It would just improve The Lives of Others!  And Coach Butthole has learned from Pop himself to sit everyone any chance he gets, with that line of thinking infecting the entire league this weekend.  It already feels like the last week of the season, doesn’t it?!  Maybe the playoffs need to start in week 10…  Sheesh…  Here’s what else went down on DNP Weekend in fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?