We’re here! We’ve got ranks! 2014-15 is quickly approaching, and we’re jumping the gun on ranks, projections, anticipating trades… Seriously, one of the biggest trades of the decade is all predicated on a handshake agreement. “My fingers were crossed Saunders, hah!” It’s the proverbial dogs playing poker, except the game is the fantasy basketball landscape and the GMs look even uglier than the deformed pug. “Heel David Griffin, heel!” Then to top off that soap opera, we have a first rounder from last year (but not in my ranks!) out for the year with a horrific injury in Team USA play. For all the Paul George banter we had last year, Razzball Nation wishes him a speedy recovery. Back to happy thoughts! Anyone see that one of my boyfriends last year, Archie Goodwin, was drunk and resisting arrest at a skating rink?! He was gonna make my top 10 too! What a comical situation… He should have his own Archie Comics! Oh wait… Well despite the innumerable implications of Tony Hawk’s arrest, let’s start ranking! And as we go through the top 200 in long form, we’ll be updating our master ranks/easy-to-use post linked up there in the rankings menu. Razzball is so easy! One crown & coke and I’m out of my Knickerbockers faster than John Starks at a flat top convention! Here’s my top 10 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.
While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season. Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.
There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So we’re through my top-50 and now getting into the mid-rounds. We’re taking this through the whole top 100, but some of these are going to be gold and some fool’s gold. As in, Larry Sanders‘ gold. If I got to the end of a rainbow and Larry Sanders was there, I’d ask for a refund…
Through the Top 20 and Top 50, I think I’ve done the rankings pretty well. They tell you towards the end of high school, “the smart ones get the As, but the most successful get Bs.” I might have made that up since I never studied for virtually anything and got Bs… But a 3.00 GPA thus far sounds about right! Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season. Slim then grades me. I asked him, “will you give me As if I show you my double-Ds?” He then flunked me… Here’s a look back at the Top 75 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t know today’s title has a Boston accent, just sorta happened! Tyreke Evans absolutely tore up the Thunder last night, slashing-n-gashing his way to a 41/9/8/3/0 line with only one turnover. I don’t know what’s crazier, that line or a Pelicans win! That starting NO line-up other than Evans was scrub city. If you followed the news leading up to this game, it went from Evans being unlikely to play a mere hour-and-a-half before tip, to getting the start right before the game started. The emotional toil on fantasy owners was bigger than in Silver Linings Playbook! Since the All-Star Break, right around when the Pels finally decided to start this guy, Evans has been a monster averaging 17.1/5.4/6.1. He’s also boosted his FG% and actually made a three or two, despite a 3PT% even Josh Smith thinks is poopy. But despite a big second half, the Pelicans owner isn’t too impressed. Haha, that was hilarious – I made highlights for this game if you couldn’t tell. Been a lucky run for my games the past two, getting this one and the Corey Brewer one Friday! Almost 100 points from those two! Hopefully the Pelicans realize they need Evans as a starter in 14-15, but it’s tough to see another stretch with 6+ dimes next year with a healthy Jrue Holiday. If the price is right, I’ll be a buyer next season, however Evans seems to always have a little more hype than substance ever since his rookie year. If this second half inflates some big buzz next year, I’ll be about as deadpan as the Pelicans owner! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The injury bug hath claimed another victim, with LaMarcus Aldridge suffering a tough fall in San Antonio on his lower back/coccyx. What are you doing to us fantasy gods?! While reports right now is it was only a lower back contusion, you never want to hear “needed a wheelchair to get around the arena.” Unless you’re Professor X! Yikes. As Slim is putting out early this afternoon, the Blazers have a mammoth of a 5-week slate coming up in the second week of the playoffs. So if you’re an Aldridge owner, I would just thank my blessings, or count my lucky stars, or something like that, if L.A. can indeed give you all five of those. In the immediacy, Thomas Robinson looks like an interesting pickup for some flashy upside. “Oh camon JB, Thomas Robinson again!?” Yup! And I said it last time and he had a 14/18/2/0/2 in there! I serious doubt Aldridge will suit up again this week, giving T-Rob some serious run. We’ll obviously get some more detailed updates throughout the day, so sacrifice a shot of rum to Jobu, or rub your bunions against the carpet, whatever you do to appease the fantasy gods to get a healthy Aldridge back for the postseason. Here’s what else went down in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yup, bringing that back! Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest. Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes. Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line. This is what I envisioned all season! I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year. It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners. If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship. So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home. “Thanks Mrs. H…” My name is JB! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man! So many places to go with a title like that… Last night we had two virtually 100%-owned big men step back on the hardwood in Derrick Favors and Andrew Bogut. Let’s start first with Aussie Aussie Aussie who had his typical Oi Oi Oi multi-cat line for 4/7/4/1/1. Played 29 minutes which is very encouraging, but did foul out. The big man fouls were rough in this one! Both starting 4/5s combined for 10 fouls in Golden State at Detroit. Mark Jackson pre-game must’ve been like, “pretend you’re all Artest and the Pistons just threw a beer on you!” I remain high on Bogut for his multi-cat walkabouts. Then to Favors – who had been doing fantasy owners no Favors with his bum hip – but lit it up in his return last night for 8-9 FG (4-4 FT) 20/4/1/0/3 in 29 you-couldn’t-ask-for-better minutes. Hopefully his hip can hold up the rest of the season! And hopefully he doesn’t Favor too much on the other one. Womp womp. Worst joke of the year! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And you thought that the trade deadline was gonna be a dud. And to that, sir or madam, I give you two words: Byron Freakin’ Mullens. Bam! The Sixers have just dropped the mic on the NBA stage, a la Chris Rock.
Actually, all joking aside, Lord Byron might be worth watching in deeper leagues – if the Sixers stick with the free flowing offence they’ve been playing thus far, there’s a long shot he might actually produce. He started for the Bobcats for half a season, and wasn’t all that bad. Yeesh!, that’s a limp di*k endorsement if I’ve ever given one.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, a busy day yesterday in hoops! The obvious first mention is GO HEELS! Oh man, I feel like storming the court today. I think Chapel Hill fans everywhere this morning should storm their office/classroom/crowded area in a flash mob at some point. Then we have LeBron James getting his nose broken by Serge A Broke-a! The mayor of Cleveland has already issued Serge Ibaka a key to the city. Fine LeBron $5,000 for flopping! Man, the next round of internet videos of “LeBroning” are going to be a lot more like “The Knockout Game”. Seriously, even LeBron haters have to love he got it broke a step or two out before throwing it down. Word still to come if the nose is indeed broken, but my money is on yes. Regardless, we’ve seen a few players come back from a broken nose in the same game donning the Hannibal mask, so I doubt he misses any time after passing concussion tests last night. MaskBron! And then we had the trade deadline come and go, with nothing too major albeit a few surprises. I’m starting a bit off the reservation with a guy I’m going to pump hard and is a pickup now in 12-teamers. Lord Byron Mullens! After trading their former starting 5 which we’ll get in below, it’s Mullens and Arnett Moultrie manning down the C fort in the abandon ship Sixers front line, with Mullens picked up for draft picks. I know Mullens is boring, but he was usable while with the Bobcats posting a 10.6/6.4/1.5/0.6/0.6 line with 1.2 treys in 27 minutes a game in 12-13. His sub-40 FG% blew, sure, but he’s a perimeter shooter who can play decent D so I think he will get run. He’s a lot better than Moultire in my opinion and I think will get big minutes. And I don’t know why, maybe it’s because he looks so goofy or maybe because he’s been in the league 5 years, but Mullens is actually only 25 when I thought he might be 30. For a team tanking, he’s a perfect acquisition to help rack up points to try and fill maybe 2 more seats a night in Philly. “Thanks for coming Mr. and Mrs. Mullens!” Here’s what else went down yesterday, starting with NBA deadline deals:Please, blog, may I have some more?