“Is it safe?” Dustin Hoffman was so not type B enough in that situation. Imagine Jeff Spicoli in that scene. “Dude, what are you doing with that, man?!” But nothing beats the end when Hoffman makes him eat the diamonds. Spoiler alert! Oh yea, that’s supposed to go before the – – nevermind. Ryan Anderson last night was sure the marathon man in the triple OT slug fest in Chicago, playing a preposterous 57 minutes for 36/6 with 7 threes. He’s like a big Klay Thompson! I was actually texting with my friend who said the broadcast compared him to Larry Bird – Hah! I countered with the Jazz broadcast in their opener compared Alec Burks to Michael Jordan. I can’t even make something up more preposterous than that! These announcers must’ve failed those analogy tests you had to take through elementary school. “Pizza:delicious::ice cream:????” “Alec Burks!” While it’s good seeing Anderson get that kind of run, spoiler alert! I think his toe could flare up at some point. He’s playing great, no question, but when he came back from injury he said he was going to manage the pain and the Pelicans were hoping to hold back his minutes a bit. Sure failed last night! I’m obviously not his toe, but I’d be like, “Yo, Ryan, 57 minutes be too much and Tough Actin’ Tinactin ain’t gonna fix me!” I’m buying the nice Anderson stats right now, but think he’s a bit of a sell high and big dudes with big toes that have been big ouchies are big red flags. Here’s what else I saw from last night’s action and news in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So… It was a ridiculous weekend of injuries with the NBA pulling its best NFL impression. “Look how many people we can hurt too!” Right now the safest big sport might be hockey… The survivors of this NBA-wide injury bug should barricade themselves in a giant prison. OK, so that’s not exactly the best analogy… Look out for the Governor! Arguably the biggest injury over the weekend was another knee giving out for Derrick Rose, who tore his meniscus and is having surgery some time today. This is about the worst thing that could’ve happened for fantasy this season. No, not because I’m a Rose owner… But because of all the Rose questions! Of course this would happen for a second straight year. So obligatory memo, statement, press release – Razzball’s official stance on answering questions on Rose will involve no guesses or speculation to his return! Well, Pete, Slim, & Dan can… I guess. But I’m not doing this again! “Hey JB, when’s the end of the world?” “When am I going to win the lottery?” “How in God’s green earth did the Patriots win last night?” “When will the Spurs finally kick out all the vets and give Kawhi Leonard superstar touches?!” I just don’t have the answers! We saw Russell Westbrook go down with a meniscus injury, only to need a second clean-up surgery. Rose has said he’s leaning towards a reattachment procedure that would cost him the season, plus Rose has his other knee just off the ACL. His knees have gone the way of Kyle’s knees in that South Park episode after his expletive-plasty. Hopefully Rose’s surgeon is part-Borg and can get something mechanical going on in there. “He’s more machine now than man…” Dude, I just crossed sci-fi swords there in a major fail… Here’s what else went down across fantasy hoops over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty. With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar. Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s crunch time people. We are in the playoffs and it’s balls to the wall from here on out. No long intro this week fortunately or unfortunately for you, as my body is still trying to repulse the HPV that Tahitian drag queen gave me in Bora Bora. I can hardly keep my eyes open for you, the readers, I would never leave hanging. Let’s hop right into this past weekend’s hit or miss performances.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With six minutes left in the fourth last night, David Lee gave Roy Hibbert a little sucker shove that spawned a fracas that would have made Ron Artest (excuse me Metta World Peace) proud. Tangent – how can athletes just change their names like that? Getting pretty ridiculous. They should just change their names a few times a year and get a percentage of jersey sales. Imagine Chris Andersen changing his name to “Birdman” at the beginning of the season, then changing it again halfway through the season to, “You best stay away Chris Hansen“. But I digress. After Lee and Hibbert got separated, Stephen Curry tried to body up on ol’ RoyRoy and it didn’t go so well. Even down 11, Curry had torn up the Pacers for 33 at that point, keeping what would have otherwise been a blowout a watchable game. What ended up being one of the best MMA moments of the NBA season didn’t factor into the game much, as the Pacers still ran away with it after Hibbert’s ejection. Luckily Curry was able to finish the game with an incredible line of 38 Pts 7 3PM 2 Rebs 4 Asts 3 Stls 1 Blk 4 Broken Cheek Bones and 0 Ankle Injuries. Just kidding about the cheek bones. I made every Curry owner gasp there for a second. Let’s take a look at the other performances last night in the NBA:
Fake Out! Quick Public Service Announcement that the wondrous Razzball social media experience on the Book of Face has acid-trip melted into a conglomeration of fantasy goodness across all fantasy sports. Shoot us a Like on Facebook and keep up with us while you dominate your friends across all your fantasy leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ben Affleck may get shat upon by the hip and snarky, but he had the last laugh when his film Argo walked away with the Best Picture Academy Award (TM) (C) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS AND SCbzzzt. Where was I? Oh, Surviving Christmas is a much better holiday movie than you would expect, and is worth watching if it comes on TV in 9-10 months. Just store that in your head. If you haven’t see The Town, it’s also enjoyable. Wait, is this the basketball blog? I thought we were talking about movies. Hmmm, well, let’s talk about Andrew Bogut. Bogut’s MRI came back and showed a protruding disc in his back. He has been ruled out indefinitely and will not travel with the team. Some of you may remember I had a minor herniated disc back in September, and it took me a few weeks to recover from, derailing my basketball career even further. Bogut is clearly a world class athlete while I get winded getting up from the toilet, but still, back pain is back pain, and Bogut has to wipe the same way the rest of us do. All of you that were so happy to grab Bogut may have to wait a couple of weeks to begin savoring his production again.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kyle Korver was unstoppable Friday night, leading Atlanta to a huge 2OT win with 27 points, including 8 3-pointers made, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocks. The Korv started his second game in a row in place of Anthony Morrow, and again he took advantage.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Garrett Temple aka the Silver Snake aka the Blue Barracuda had his best game of the season last night with 8 points, 7 rebounds, 11 assists and a steal in 47 minutes. Take that Olmec, you giant, ominous Mayan head! Although he didn’t shoot very well (just 3-10 FG) the rest of that line is certainly encouraging.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There is a very interesting situation brewing in Toronto, this time involving the guards instead of the big men. Kyle Lowry is still coming off the bench, last night playing 22 minutes, taking 2 shots (missing both from downtown), and throwing in 2 rebounds, 9 assists and 2 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Drummond exploded with Christmas cheer off the bench last night with 11 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks in just 21 minutes. Holy night! Come they played him, pa rum pum pum pum. Aaan-dre Druuum-moond, pa rum pum pum pum.Please, blog, may I have some more?