It’s crunch time people. We are in the playoffs and it’s balls to the wall from here on out. No long intro this week fortunately or unfortunately for you, as my body is still trying to repulse the HPV that Tahitian drag queen gave me in Bora Bora. I can hardly keep my eyes open for you, the readers, I would never leave hanging. Let’s hop right into this past weekend’s hit or miss performances.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Moe Harkless struck the Thunder for a career high 25 points last night and the rookie added 9 rebounds, 4 steals, 4 blocks and hit 3 threes. I’ve been pushing Moe for a while now, so this performance was a long time coming. Maurice is averaging a mediocre 10.7 pts and 5.4 rebounds over the past two weeks, but what really raises my fantasy eyebrow is the 3 steals a game. Do you know where your wallet is? No? Probably because Harkless just took it. Just like that. He’s that good. In fact, Moe has 21 steals in the past 6 games alone! Hashtag cleptomanic! Nikola Vucevic sat this game, and Arron Afflalo left the game in the first quarter in some serious pain. This explains Moe’s 45 minutes, and he should get major burn and plenty of touches going forward. Harkless is available in over 20% of leagues, if your looking for a playoff push, Harkless has all the tools to fill up all a stat sheet. And the steals! *drools  Go steal him from waivers before someone else does!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy basketball Friday night:

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Yarr, ahoy, mateys. September 19th is talk like a pirate day, and I will shiver ye timbers with more  2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings. Today we be lookin’ at tha shootin’ guard. Reminds me of the time I shot a man for stealing me rum, or maybe I’m just remembering the time I drank too much rum and shot my urine all over the sidewalk.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It went down sweetly, like an Italian opera or an Italian ice. Whichever best suits your personality. From out of nowhere, DeMarcus Cousins decided he was unhappy with the team’s direction. Makes sense. It’s been four games into a lockout-shortened season in which 75 percent of the league is still grossly out of shape, why wouldn’t a sophomore demand an immediate shot at a championship.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s just get it out of the way now: I don’t follow college basketball. Every year, a new line of freshman enter the league and I think, “It would really be helpful if I knew anything about these guys.” Then a squirrel passes outside my window or a dust particle hitting the sunlight catches my eye and I’ve already forgotten what I was just thinking about.

Please, blog, may I have some more?