Brewers baby! Best record in baseball. 9 in a row. Oh yea, this is basketball, but man! My Brewers are unstoppable! And it carried over to the hardwood, when Corey Brewer had maybe the most preposterous, out-of-nowhere game all year. I actually did highlights for the Wolves Rockets game Friday night, and it was like watching a pickup game where one guy was just light years better than everyone else. Slice-n-dice, no need to take shots. In the first quarter, I leaned over to a co-worker and said Brewer is having the game of his life. Made me look smart! Going in with a career-high of 29, Brewer dropped 51 on like, a trillion layups and pick 6s. 51/2/1/6/0, and just how everyone learned from Oliver, “you’ve got to pick a pocket or two!” Or six. And probably 5 of them led to uncontested layups, but he did have some pretty sick and-ones for good measure. Deeper leaguers that had Brewer probably thought stat tracker was broken Friday night. I’ve always been a Brewer fan, it was sad to have to trade him to Slim, but when Kevin Martin and Kevin Love returned, it was cool down time for the NBA’s Brew Crew on Sunday, going for only 10 and two steals. Regardless, I love that Brewer now gets to share a milestone with Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson and Rick Barry as the only guys to go 50+ with 6+ steals. One of these is not like the other! Good for Brewer, and if the Wolves indeed deal Love and/or let K-Mart walk, Brewer could be pretty interesting next year. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In case you haven’t noticed I’ll go ahead and state the obvious, I don’t like to lose. What’s that? You don’t either? Good, because it’s that time of year once again when we find out just what lengths we’ll go to to insure an early playoff victory. Can you drop a player who’s been one of your most productive for months? It’s easy when they’re injured but when you start to see your season about to end can you let the better player walk to gamble on a player with more games? I can’t make that life altering decision for you but I can offer you a few words of counsel.
First, I ask that you confess your most shameful of fantasy sins, not to me but to yourself. If you drafted Tristan Thompson and ignored all the warnings then you need to first come to grips with that before you can proceed. This will be the internal struggle that not until you have accepted will you truly find peace. Secondly, you must accept that none of us can do this little thing called life, or fantasy basketball, all by ourselves. There was once and still are people there to guide me and as I write I pass this knowledge on to you. I know one day you will continue this circle of life and pass the knowledge on to the next generation of fake basketballers. And third, only you can make the decision to turn your life, or roster, over with this new found knowledge. In other words, if you post your login/password below I will not make the move for you. Now my apprentice go forth with this knowledge of weekend streamers and bring us back word of your glorious victory.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The postseason is upon us in standard playoff leagues, and this is the last update of the fantasy regular season. My swan song if you will! My swan… Carroll? Puns! Puns! “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got puns, hun!” What isn’t punny is DeMarre Carroll‘s production of late, pouncing on the hapless Bucks for 15/6/1/0/2 hitting four treys. Carroll has been all about sir-mix-a-lotting multi-cats, with three straight pretty big fantasy games hitting three+ treys in all of em. Shooting a great percentage, hitting treys, can get all the cats, what’s not to like?! And yet, still only 47% owned in Yahoo. Crazy sauce! Looking ahead to the playoff schedule – and if you haven’t yet, be sure to read up on Slim’s schedule breakdown for the three upcoming weeks (which is what I’m going to use here on out, Slim you are a saint!) – the Hawks are non-migratory and play within a temperate zone of 4 games in all three playoff weeks. So sink your talons into some DeMarre and soar into the fantasy championship to place a title trophy on your roost. Puns! Puns! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, I would wager that most of you have passed the trade deadline, if your league has one. And it should. Nothing sparks a conspiracy theorist like an “uneven” trade between a contender and a team out of contention 2 weeks from the playoffs. If you are in a league that still allows trades, have your hand hovering over the “bullsh*t” button when trades come across the wire.
But what do you do when you have a player that needs replacing? The waiver is your saviour! Check these cats out if you need some last minute replacing:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man. Am I sorry if anyone had to watch Battle: Los Angeles last night. I hated that movie and actually would rather have watched that again than the atrocity in Staples. Reggie Miller was having so much fun dogging that game. I was saying that it was like watching an All-Star game at the office, then either Miller or Kerr then said the same thing! Followed by, “well, except all the All-Stars are on one team!” Lakers burn! El Burro, I hope you’re around, because I’d love a rant from this game from a true Lakers fan. Sure there have been worse NBA blowouts, but man, that was straight up Cornell going on the road to Wichita State. Even that would be a lot better to watch! I’m not taking much to heart fantasy-wise in the 48-point romp of blue/red over yellow/purple, but my main takeaway was that Kendall Marshall still got a 7/4/7 line in 24 minutes and Jordan Farmar was awful in his 21 minutes. I’m a big Farmar hater, and think Marshall is actually a little underrated right now. Marshall as we all know was playing well in big minutes earlier in the year, and I think can get back to the 30ish range. And even if he falls short of that, the dimebags will afloweth like a Denver dispensary. Cash cow business for the Girl Scout cookie industry as well! Probably should’ve had a few Girl Scouts paroling the Staples Center last night. “Eat your pities away, Lakers fans!” “A peanut butter delight won’t disappoint you at all!” Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yup, bringing that back! Pretty much my reaction looking at my line-ups last night where I endured a long broken hand heal fest. Loved me some Kawhi Leonard heading into the season, and even though Pop is still keeping Kawhi’s minutes from full climax, 7-10 last night (2-2 3PTM 2-2 FT) 18/5/3/4/3 in 26 rainbow-licious minutes. Since returning from the broken hand, Kawhi has gone full multi-cat-hard hitting all 5 cats in all 4 games, a trey in each one, and 9-9 from the FT line. This is what I envisioned all season! I’m thinking Kawhi shoulda punched something early in preseason and this would’ve been what we got all year. It’s going to be fairly tough to pry Kawhi from anyone else’s roster given his torrid return, but can’t hurt to float some stuff out there if the Pop-factor is still haunting any Kawhi owners. If you’re making your final push for your playoff rosters and can still make a move or two, Kawhi has 4-game weeks in the semis and the championship. So I for one think you can cry “Kawhi Kawhi Kawhi!” all the way home. “Thanks Mrs. H…” My name is JB! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, you’re not accidentally on baseball and we’re not reviewing Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle’s little HBO romp. Wait, why does LeBron James get an asterisk then?! I think the mask is helping him. It’s like the Jim Carrey movie. Without it he’s a nothing out there – - dammit, metaphors and parallels just aren’t working today! Unless the improbable scenario in which you pounded em hard at happy hour, passed out before tipoffs last night, stumbled to your computer when you awoke this morning, and Razzball Basketball is your first NBA news choice, then you probably saw what BronBron did last night. I for one fully endorse the aforementioned scenario, see you at happy hour after work! LeBron went bob-bonkers on the bob-Bobcats for 61 points shooting 22-33, 8-10 from deep, and 9-12 from the stripe. Chipped in 7 boards and 5 dimes on top of it. The gap Kevin Durant had over King James is slowly deteriorating as MaskBron is taking over Gotham City. Now, it did help that there was no Dwyane Wade (not that it would’ve made that much of a difference), but KD is still your numero uno. Twin towers! I bet 50% of fantasy H2H title matchups will pit LeBron vs. KD. Fantasy basketball is too top heavy followed by a bunch of bastard children. It’s turning into Shawn Kemp! Zing! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! We’re here on a special weekend wrap-up where Slim (this is JB speaking) got to the action and JB just snuck in the beginning. And snuck in the end! I’m like Brad Pitt at the Oscars. “Wait, why is he winning best picture! So confused right now…” Tomorrow I’ll proudly illustrate what I did over the weekend, but a nice defining touch hoops-wise was another great one from my boy Mike Scott, who while posting great lines, isn’t helping the Hawks win… And that’s a problem! Especially with Paul Millsap assumedly back sometime soon this week. But I thought Gravity mighta gotten best picture too! After a really rough send-off last Monday, went bonkers on the Suns for 20/5/2/3/0 with three treys and not a single TO. I bet Philly sports fans wish they had no TO. BOOM! Double sports joke. The main number that got my emoji tats all excited was the 40 mins played. Millsap is going to travel with the Hawks as they migrate on a 5-game road trip, but very easily could miss the first few making Scott a solid short-term add. So beam him aboard, win a big week as we near playoff time, and don’t forget to yell over the music if those pompous mf#@*$ng PA guys at the Oscars wanna condescend you by playing the music. And here’s Slim with what he saw over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wow, what a wild night across the NBA-osphere. Tons of injuries, lots of scrubs getting some burn, if I didn’t know better, I woulda though it was late March. But no! I guess we can start with that other JB as Jerryd Bayless moved into the starting line-up and lit up the Hawks for a season-high 29 Pts. Shooting 12-21, it was pretty ThrAGNOFfy for 29/2/2/1/0 with 5 treys. Why you avoid the 3-point specialists on draft day! Who knows what preppy-boy Brad Stevens is going to do next, and while getting the Pacers on Saturday isn’t a great matchup, home games vs. GS, BKN, then DET next week could be a 10 3PTM week for JB. And while he’s not as multi-cat as the real JB over here, we can all grab the band if we need some scoring. I’ll wear a headband as well for the moral support! Here’s what else went down on a very busy night of injuries and surprise games in the NBA:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And you thought that the trade deadline was gonna be a dud. And to that, sir or madam, I give you two words: Byron Freakin’ Mullens. Bam! The Sixers have just dropped the mic on the NBA stage, a la Chris Rock.
Actually, all joking aside, Lord Byron might be worth watching in deeper leagues – if the Sixers stick with the free flowing offence they’ve been playing thus far, there’s a long shot he might actually produce. He started for the Bobcats for half a season, and wasn’t all that bad. Yeesh!, that’s a limp di*k endorsement if I’ve ever given one.Please, blog, may I have some more?