Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I almost titles this entry, “Even Burt Reynolds Can’t Touch Ronny Anderson,” but I decided against it because I’m pretty sure Burt Reynolds, could, in fact, touch Ron Anderson. Anderson was selected third overall in this year’s draft, mainly as an insurance policy against either Danny Manning or Benoit Benjamin going el-busto.

Please, blog, may I have some more?