Joakim Noah

JB Gilpin

The Razzball Basketball Glossary

| Glossary | Leave a comment

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I’m nothing if not unique.  I think that was on Dennis Rodman’s tombstone.  What?  He’s still alive?  Kim-Jong Un didn’t secretly get annoyed by him and send a hit squad?

Since taking over the rundowns and general Razzball Basketball reigns, I have been thrusting my new terms into the void that is the lack of new Razzball catch phrases for the basketball side.  Have you seen Enter The Void?  Yea it’s like that.  Here’s some phrases that will always be added to, never limited to, and always changing:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

Way Too Early Rankings: Top 50 For 2013-2014

| 2013-2014 Fantasy Basketball Rankings | 8 Comments

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As we continue to navigate through the NBA Playoffs, it’s been a fun challenge to rank for the 2013-2014 season.  There’s still free agency.  There’s still a draft.  Hey, at least we know there will be a season unlike 2011!

If you missed it, my top 10 then top 20 came out last week.  Hey, it’s early, you might say “way too early” (see what I did there, it’s in the title!) so these rankings are subject to change.  And I want no accusations of flip-flopping!  It’s not my fault if all the sudden Dwight Howard goes to the Bobcats and becomes a first-rounder!  OK, so that is as likely as Rony Seikaly… returning.  You gotta stop on the word that rhymes Jean-Ralphio!  Man I’m liking that show.  Also, random side note, Googling Rony Seikaly to spell his name correctly broke Google.  I searched it and it would freeze, despite everything else working.  Weird.

As I battle my ADHD to get into the rankings, let’s just dive into it:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB Gilpin

If There’s A Flood, Noah Won’t Let Anyone From Philly Into His Ark

| Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 15 Comments

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So one of my favorite directors, Darren Aronofsky, is working on a new movie Noah that is going to come out some time in 2014.  Yeah, it’s about the dude in the “we’re gonna need animals in this boat”, not “we need a bigger boat.”. Russell Crowe is going to be Noah.  Hmmmm.  Did you know “hm” can be played in scrabble and Words With Friends?  Man, did that grind my buddy’s goat.  I don’t know how I feel about this new Aronofsky outlet, especially with a budget reported at $130 million.  That’s a lot of water tanks.  We all saw what happened to Waterworld.  Producer Scott Fanklin said “…we stayed very true to the story and didn’t really deviate from the Bible, despite the six-armed angels.”  Mind… Blown… Speaking of six-armed Angels and Noahs, Joakim Noah was downright swatty last night, racking up 11 Blocks against the 76ers.  Although I guess Noah would be a six-armed Bull.  Something like a mix between Goro and Motaro. Hey, that might actually be a step up looks-wise.  Animality!  Noah’s final line of 8/12 FG 23 Pts 21 Rebs 1 Ast 3 Stls and 11 Blks gave him one of the sexiest triple-doubles since three Baywatch lifeguards ran to my aid after a jellyfish stung my tooshie.  Here’s what else happened around the NBA last night:

Sucker Punch! Another reminder to like us on Facebook as all our sports have melted into one hard-hitting Fantasy hub that stings like a butterfly and flies like a bee.  OK, maybe I got that wrong, but it’s something like that…  Once you follow, you’ll spontaneously outburst in dance in costume and merriment.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
ChrisV

Helen Zeller Inspires Us All

| Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 15 Comments

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You want an early buy (or a repeat)? Throw down some nickels and make a purchase of one Tyler Zeller. His 16 points yesterday were the first since January 19, but the 9 rebounds, 4 assists and a block were not out of the ordinary. He’s had a block in five straight games, is averaging 7 rebounds in the past six games, and has 3 or 4 assists in four games this month. I wouldn’t own him for offense, but he could help you in many other ways. Let him inspire your fantasy team! WAH…TUH!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Hawks Win In Double Korver-Time

| Fantasy Basketball Daily Notes | 15 Comments

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Kyle Korver was unstoppable Friday night, leading Atlanta to a huge 2OT win with 27 points, including 8 3-pointers made, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocks. The Korv started his second game in a row in place of Anthony Morrow, and again he took advantage.  He was actually calling for the ball in this one too, dude was absolutely en fuego, hashtag could not miss (did I do that right?).

Please, blog, may I have some more?
James Redacted

Getting Iggy With It

| Fantasy Basketball Buy/Sell | 84 Comments

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Andre Iguodala has been a source of contention in the comments recently.  Some people just want to cast him aside and leave him for dead (I may be exaggerating slightly).  Not me.  No man left behind is my motto (unless your name is Andrew Bynum, to hell with that guy).  Especially a man that was a top 50 player last year.  A man who once only hurt you in FT% and contributed across the board everywhere else.  This year he is not the same man.  A career low in FG%, REB, STL, and a nearly career high in TO’s (not to mention his lowest AST since ’05-’06).  Perhaps it is the high altitude, or maybe he is declining at the old age of 28 years.  I say that’s hogwash and I’m not sure why I say it like that, because I sound like my 80 year old grandmother.  Nevertheless, I firmly believe that he will figure out his role on the Nuggets and you should own him before he does.  Well, unless you can’t take that FT% hit.

Please, blog, may I have some more?