Maybe because I didn’t follow the NBA preseason as closely last year as I was working exclusively on Football, but I feel like there’s been a lot more preseason injuries in only the first week of action than in year’s past. Then again, Rodney Stuckey wasn’t even on the court, and slammed his thumb in his car door and needs surgery. It’s gonna make for a hell of a hitchhiking thumb in that cast! What it is with Detroit athletes and getting hurt in their cars? Not even a month ago Nate Burleson broke his arm reaching over to keep some boxes from falling and slamming into the median. All Detroit athletes need to avoid using motor vehicles. Maybe that’s proof right there Obama shouldn’t have bailed out GM. Give them all mopeds. Oh wait, yeah that won’t work, will is Monta Ellis? Maybe segways? I’ve got it! Just tell Andre Drummond he has to carry every Detroit athlete to where they need to go until his FT% goes above 50. He’ll be like a Detroit athlete tauntaun. See, tell me why I’m not an NBA coach. I already had moved Kentavious Caldwell-Pope way up before the Stuckey injury with how the Pistons coaching staff was praising him, and look for KCP to move to right around 100 overall in my next rankings update. Here’s what else went down since we last looked in at preseason action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The preseason is upon us! And just like how you don’t put too much stock in Spring Training or the NFL Preseason – there isn’t anything to go too crazy about with what happens in the box scores. However, some guys do get hurt, hurt guys can show they’re back, and there’s additional news to spruce up everyone’s rankings (my updated top 200 is below and broken down by position in the menu). But before you scroll down! We really need some RCL commissioners to start up new leagues to show me just how bad my rankings are. The winner gets their name shaved in my head for god’s sake! Please don’t make it anything too profane… I don’t want to tell the barber he has to put @$%#% somewhere in my scalp! Rather than belaboring current events and more RCL pandering, let’s just hop right in:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After re-ranking the top 10, top 20, and top 50, it’s easy to see there’s been big changes since last May. Below are the Razzball Updated Rankings with the previous May rankings in parentheses before the adjusted rank:
(68) ↑ 51. Derrick Favors – Utah declining to bring back either Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap gives you a slight inclination on their thoughts on Favors, and they’re already talking contract extension with their emerging big as well. I love his athleticism, and if I miss out on Serge Ibaka who I’m high on early, I’m gonna want to reach on Favors to win blocks. I think he’ll be a top-5 NBA swatter.
(51) 52. Kemba Walker – Kemba has been higher on virtually every rankings I’ve seen, and I’m just not top-50 high on him. He had a really solid season last year, but the terrible FG% still worries me as I feel like he forces some offense. The acquisition of Big Al is going to give the Bobcats/soon-to-be Hornets an actual scorer down, and I don’t think that translates into helping Kemba all that much. I like Gerald Henderson a lot too to take a bigger scoring role. The 2.0 steals a game last year was elite, but I see those going down along with the scoring, and a comparable 5.7:2.4 Ast:TO ratio. All that spells a slightly down ranking for me. Although to be fair, he’s played in every single Bobcats game in his career, so there’s that reliability that can’t be ignored.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t need to get into why the Portland Trailblazers might be unlucky. Or maybe snake bitten. Or maybe even – gasp! – cursed.
I don’t need to mention the long line of giants with legs more fragile than the sexy lamp in “A Christmas Story.” I don’t need to mention the Draft Day Disaster where they went with a sure thing no one questioned at the time and ended up missing out on the greatest player of all time. And I don’t need to mention the crushing injury to a guy whose last name is the acronym to a certain award given to rookies, which all but crushed any chances of building something out of those early LaMarcus Aldridge teams in the late ’00s.
But in casting away one J.J. Hickson, I believe Portland has made its own bad luck heading into the 2013-2014 NBA season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I bet you haven’t heard and I’m breaking the news… The Heat lost last night! 27 games in a row, down the drain. One of the most impressive streaks we’ve seen in American sports is over. However, instead of linking highlights to the game, I think this sketch from one of the best sketch comedy shows Mr. Show encapsulates what happened last night. David Cross is the Bulls and Bob Odenkirk is the Heat.
Fantasy-wise, the Heat big three had their usual games and Luol Deng was the Bulls top performer with 28 Pts and 4 3PTM. It was one of the most-hyped, most-talked about regular season NBA games in recent memory, so apologies this isn’t a fantasy-heavy open. That’s what the rest is for!
Here’s what else went down across a heavy slate of NBA action (yes, there were other games!):Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s crunch time people. We are in the playoffs and it’s balls to the wall from here on out. No long intro this week fortunately or unfortunately for you, as my body is still trying to repulse the HPV that Tahitian drag queen gave me in Bora Bora. I can hardly keep my eyes open for you, the readers, I would never leave hanging. Let’s hop right into this past weekend’s hit or miss performances.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gotta love Colorado. All the hippies, all the ganja. I went to Denver last year (not for that) and really enjoyed the city and caught a few Rockies games. That town loves their sports teams. Have you ever watched sports high? It’s awwwwwwesome. Well then again, I guess everything you like is intensified in aurae of sweeeeeet. And then if your team loses, you can just laugh it off like Brad Pitt in True Romance.
Fantasy wise, the Nuggets feature tons of options, but there enlies a bit of a conundrum as there are some hit and miss nights. I’m a big Corey Brewer fan, but he has some down nights, I really like Danilo Gallinari as a big 3 but he goes cold some nights (went 4-17 last night), and Kosta Koufos, who is criminally underrated and unmentioned on that team, played only 16 minutes yesterday. It really is a revolving door with a lot of those guys - Andre Miller almost hit a triple-double last night while Wilson Chandler only scored 9 following up 35 two games ago. It’s kinda like a fantasy wheel of fortune. You get jackpots and a trip to Tahiti with Tehol (although I would prefer Bankrupt there), or you have Lose A Turn or Bankrupt. See if you can figure this one out. _ _ R_ _ _ _ _ R _ U_ _ _ INC_ N _ I _ _ _ _ _ R_ _ _ _ _ _I _ _ _. Girlie Porn User Incontinence Rigamortis? Close! It’s George Karl Uses Inconsistent Rotations. OK, I officially never want to come a Wheel Of Fortune puzzle maker.
Here’s what else went down last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I want answers God Dammit!!! I had the night off from the strip club I’m now performing at, so my chicken and I decided to relax, share a “Steel Reserve” 40 ounce and view our favorite movies of 2012 receive countless accolades and awards. To our astonishment, all the epic films of 2012 were forgotten like Bow Wow’s rap career(and acting career). Silver Linings Playbook???? Mentally disable lovers??? Anyone recall The Other Sister? Talk about a knockoff. Don’t get me started on Les Miserables. Shouldn’ there be a separate award show, or category at least for musicals? For the love of God please!!!! Lincoln was so boring I switched over to porn 20 minutes in, though it did inspire me to go the interracial route. This gave me a new type of respect for the man John Wilkes Booth popped in trying to resurrect the confederate cause. What’s truly ironic about that situation is that Lincoln, no doubt bored out his gourd watching another God-awful musical, was probably wishing he was shot at that very moment, with little doubt for that reason being that he would never have to witness another musical again. Enough talk about these duds. Let’s get to Tehol Beddict’s winners.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a mere 27 minutes, Samuel Dalembert had 35 points on 17-21 shooting, notched 12 rebounds, dished out 2 and blocked 1. Slammy Sammy has been Silent Sammy for most of the year, with a 14/13 game on January 30 and 12/10 in January 29 being the highlights of the year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Washington Post recently ran an interesting article about NBA players who can’t hit free throws. Not being able to make a free throw is possibly the most embarrassing thing a basketball player can fail out, equivalent to a baseball player who can’t throw (note to John Wall).Please, blog, may I have some more?