I thought about naming this post “The Buck Swaps Here,” but then I realized that no one cares about the Bucks. Which means that Monta Ellis is dead to the NBA fan. It was a nice run. We all shared some laughs and we’ll remember the good times.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Outside the NBA Lockout disappearing 16 games and the remaining 66 games being stacked on top of one another as efficiently as a Hell’s Kitchen slum, Ricky Rubio‘s injury strikes me as the saddest turn of the season. Just as the Thunder went from terrible to terrific in three seasons, it appears the same thing is happening in Minnesota.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Drew Gooden is like a cockroach. Just when you think his career is over, he resurrects in the Bucks frontcourt. Then he injures his wrist and misses some time, and you’re thinking, “the joyride is over, right?” Wrong! And then he goes and tweaks his back in his first game back on the court, which has GOT to slow him down, right?Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve let this go on long enough; this Paul George wreckin’ crew situation. He’s killing it lately, and if he’s on your fantasy team, he’s killing it for you lately. And if he’s not on your team, you might not have noticed how he killed you lately.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeremy Lin started over Iman Shumpert again, which suggests three things: 1) Shumpert is still very, very raw and not ready to lead this team anywhere but downward. 2) Baron Davis will be used when he returns. Oh, yes. He will be quite used.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hear that all your favorite NBA players are playing basketball overseas next year. I hear that all your favorite teams and all my favorite teams are holding cheerleader tryouts for the next six months. I hear that the captains of our favorite teams are all moving to Turkey and China to start hoops camps for children, or whomever, really.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Delonte West started in place of Rajon Rondo‘s nagging pinky injury. Or is it pinkie? Does it matter? You know what I mean either way. I could have typed “pinkee” and you would have accepted it. But that’s poor spelling and you ought not let me get away with lazy writing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Durant may miss a couple games after snapping his balsa wood ankles. I’m not sure what the big worry is here with his ankles, this stuff happens to Derek Fisher, like, twice a game. That joke was lifted directly from “Tosh.0,” but I’m tired and I didn’t want to make another joke about James Harden‘s greasy beard.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lamar Odom will have ‘problematic,’ lingering shoulder pain, according to Phil Jackson. I really appreciate when coaches expand on injury announcements by adding color with words like “problematic.” This lets us plebeians differentiate between injuries no one is happy to have from those that serve to improve lives; like that kid in ‘Rookie of the Year’ or Doc Brown’s run-in with the toilet back in 1955.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I spend one afternoon caroling in my neighborhood and lookit what happens: I return to a league that colluded to all swap jerseys and make me nuts. There’s no way, I’m going to be able to remember that a) Hedo Turkoglu is not on the Suns, b) Hedo Turkoglu was ever not on the Magic and c) Vince Carter isn’t on a pitiful D.C.Please, blog, may I have some more?