I won’t sit here and lie to you.  I watch every Miami Heat game (or try to), hence the Mario Chalmers buy last week (speaking of Chalmers he strained his triceps last night but is day to day).  You may be like, “Yo Redacted you’re totally biased cause you’re a heat fan” but I think I’m pretty objective.  I saw improvement in Chalmers’ passing ability and my observations were confirmed by actual, real NBA analysts so it isn’t just my Heat love.  Of course this week Chalmers took a dump on the court and millions of viewers were horrified.  So getting to my actual buy, Ray Allen is the anti-OJ in that the glove fits.  The guy is lighting it up in Miami because he is 1) Healthy; 2) WIDE OPEN ALL THE TIME; 3) See #1; 4) See #2; and finally 5) See #’s 3 and 4.  I’d look for Top 50 production all season long, although in the second half of the season we may see the Heat reduce his minutes some to keep him fresh for the playoffs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here it is, friends, the big kahuna. It’s like when your friends sit around and say, “what are your top 30 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies?” Only instead of that, it’s me telling you the top 100 basketball players for fantasy basketball purposes. Now this is going to shock you, but I would not really go by this list during my draft.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yarr, ahoy, mateys. September 19th is talk like a pirate day, and I will shiver ye timbers with more  2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings. Today we be lookin’ at tha shootin’ guard. Reminds me of the time I shot a man for stealing me rum, or maybe I’m just remembering the time I drank too much rum and shot my urine all over the sidewalk.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Telling you to go full throttle on Marvin Williams is like telling you to go rent “Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle” on Netflix. Both are stuff from the mid-2000s, both will excite you for a second but ultimately leave you feeling shallow and empty for even that momentary excitement, and both leave one wishing it had more Bill Murray.

Please, blog, may I have some more?