Why do deer like salt licks? It’s one of the longest pondered mysteries in the world. Ok, that’s not true at all after I asked Jeeves. According to Wikipedia (I know Mrs. Hanson, I can’t use it as a source but this isn’t a research paper, bitch) “A mineral [salt] lick is natural mineral deposit where animals in nutrient-poor ecosystems can obtain essential mineral nutrients.” Parallels! Those poor Milwaukee Bucks were having such nutrient-poor fantasy lines and highlights of late and just needed some salt to lick. Easy, “that’s what she said” guy (you know if you are). The Bucks had three plays in the Sportscenter top 10! Fantasy wise, Monta Ellis hadn’t scored 30 in 2013. Brandon Jennings hadn’t scored more than 11 in his last four games. J.J. Redick hadn’t scored more than 16 or hit more than 2 threes in a game for his new squad. And Larry Sanders hadn’t… Well he’s been playing awesome, and was awesome again last night. Let’s look at their lines and the rest of fantasy basketball’s noteworthy performances last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tobias Harris started the season fairly strong, putting together some decent lines in November, but then fell out of the Bucks rotation. “Oh Tobias, you blow-hard!” It looked like Harris’ career might be stalled. “I got my hands on some money. I can’t say how or when … or where my wedding ring is, but my purse overfloweth.” But with a trade to the Magic right at the deadline, Harris got a much needed new beginning in O-Town. “But guess what? There’s a new daddy in town. A discipline Daddy.” Harris has been a discipline daddy indeed, providing the Magic with their lone bright spot with 23 Pts 9-12 FG 2-2 FT 1 3PTM 6 Rebs 2 Asts and 2 Stls last night while being massacred by the Kings. And if any of these references are giving you a chubby, suck it up and watch Arrested Development! As I mentioned in both articles yesterday, I’m crushing hard on my boy T-Hair. Shooting a total of 21-31 (68%) and averaging 17.7 Pts 0.67 3PM 6.7 Rebs 1.3 Asts 1.0 Stl and 1.0 Blk over his three games for Orlando, he’s been a dynamite find for their unloading of J.J. I called him a pickup in deeper leagues, but with a third straight big performance where he looked worthy of 40 minutes (I watched this game – he attacked the rim hard, shot well, and played spry), I’m now calling him a pickup in all leagues. Here’s what else happened last night across the NBA:
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With six minutes left in the fourth last night, David Lee gave Roy Hibbert a little sucker shove that spawned a fracas that would have made Ron Artest (excuse me Metta World Peace) proud. Tangent – how can athletes just change their names like that? Getting pretty ridiculous. They should just change their names a few times a year and get a percentage of jersey sales. Imagine Chris Andersen changing his name to “Birdman” at the beginning of the season, then changing it again halfway through the season to, “You best stay away Chris Hansen“. But I digress. After Lee and Hibbert got separated, Stephen Curry tried to body up on ol’ RoyRoy and it didn’t go so well. Even down 11, Curry had torn up the Pacers for 33 at that point, keeping what would have otherwise been a blowout a watchable game. What ended up being one of the best MMA moments of the NBA season didn’t factor into the game much, as the Pacers still ran away with it after Hibbert’s ejection. Luckily Curry was able to finish the game with an incredible line of 38 Pts 7 3PM 2 Rebs 4 Asts 3 Stls 1 Blk 4 Broken Cheek Bones and 0 Ankle Injuries. Just kidding about the cheek bones. I made every Curry owner gasp there for a second. Let’s take a look at the other performances last night in the NBA:
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Every year, there’s a handful of guys that are waiver wire whores and bounce back and forth between owners for spot starts. It’s like the freshman co-ed dorm; you feel entitled if you’re the first to have one of em riding your roster, but then you feel dirty if you claimed them next. Enter Jarrett Jack, who before settling into his probable NBA 6th Man Award role, got run off the bench, then a few starts, but never those solidified minutes. A shoulder injury a few weeks back had the last round of owners jumping ship, but since returning he’s finally ready for a long term commitment. So what if he gave rival owners a little handsy here and rub-a-dub there? Time for everyone to lock him up Elizabeth Smart style.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you have been around the Razzball block, you may have seen my stuff as a regular writer for Razzball Football (along with Co-Host of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast with @NickCapozzi) and an occasional contributor for Razzball Baseball. If not, then I say hello Basketball world! I will be taking over the reins as the editor-in-chief for Razzball Basketball (while continuing my contributions to our other fine sports sections) and look forward to making different jokes about the same players. Get ready for numerous Sam Cassell looks like E.T. references.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man with a name that would drive King George VI off his throne in fits of anger, Thabo Sefolosha shot 7 of 11 from the field, including 5 of 7 from the perimeter, to accumulate 20 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, and 3 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Over the past week, Matt Barnes is averaging 13 points, 7 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 blocks. Can you dig it? Even a one armed prospector could dig it. I also humorously confused the names of Harrison Barnes and Matt Barnes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Isaiah Thomas got the start Friday night and scored 11 points with 4 assists, a steal and three 3-pointers in 29 minutes. The move to start him actually makes logical sense, which is strange since we’re talking about the Sacremende Kings here.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I never thought I’d talk about him again this season, unless he got a DUI or something, but Lamar Odom had a pretty good night with 6 points, 11 rebounds, 2 assists, and 2 blocks. The game before, he went 10/5/1/0/1 and before that, 5/9/2/2/3.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike D’Antoni is basically the only coach I ever talk about, and it’s partly because of the mustache, partly because of his offensive style. Chris Duhon has become revitalized under his old coach’s system. Last night, he shot for 12 points with 11 assists, 5 rebounds and 4 of 5 from downtown.Please, blog, may I have some more?