The injury bug hath claimed another victim, with LaMarcus Aldridge suffering a tough fall in San Antonio on his lower back/coccyx. What are you doing to us fantasy gods?! While reports right now is it was only a lower back contusion, you never want to hear “needed a wheelchair to get around the arena.” Unless you’re Professor X! Yikes. As Slim is putting out early this afternoon, the Blazers have a mammoth of a 5-week slate coming up in the second week of the playoffs. So if you’re an Aldridge owner, I would just thank my blessings, or count my lucky stars, or something like that, if L.A. can indeed give you all five of those. In the immediacy, Thomas Robinson looks like an interesting pickup for some flashy upside. “Oh camon JB, Thomas Robinson again!?” Yup! And I said it last time and he had a 14/18/2/0/2 in there! I serious doubt Aldridge will suit up again this week, giving T-Rob some serious run. We’ll obviously get some more detailed updates throughout the day, so sacrifice a shot of rum to Jobu, or rub your bunions against the carpet, whatever you do to appease the fantasy gods to get a healthy Aldridge back for the postseason. Here’s what else went down in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So anyone watch the Clippers last night? Who was cheering for Blake Griffin to go for 50? BG just obliterated the Suns interior defense in the first quarter, putting up 22 on 11-12 shooting. Then I don’t know who had their hearts broken more by Griffin not even getting to 40 – fantasy owners looking for a huge start to their week or the Clips announcers who were decorating their trapper keepers with flowery Blake Griffin pictures all game. P.J. Tucker got a little heart broken too! Blake went all dog pile on Tucker for really no reason. Tucker was like, “That’s a clown dog pile yo!” and clocked Blake right in the chinny chin chin . Pow, right in the kisser! At one point, the announcer dude said, “See Blake just loses his footing…” Pshhhhh! Griffin is kinda like a high-flying, better-at-basketball Tyler Hansbrough. Burn! Regardless, ended the night with a ridic 14-16 FG and 9-10 FT 37/6/3/1/0 line. Did rack up 6 TOs and was limited to only 32 minutes due to fouling out. Shockingly, one of those 6 fouls wasn’t for tackling a guy… I mean, I’ve seen that sort of tackle flagged in the NFL! Don’t get me wrong, I like watching Blake, it’s awesome how he can get under opposing teams’ skin, and he’s had a career fantasy year. Although, I think Slim might like him a little less since it’s probably going to cost Tucker a game with a suspension. The notice comes from the league office with a letter that reads merely: “You’ve been Silvered!” Here’s what else went down across NBA action last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Step right up folks! Come and see the freaks of the world! Right here we have the Hairy Hipster: Loves his Death Cab for Cutie, hates his razor. And next there’s Head Boy … just a head, that’s it. And then there’s Pretzel Man, can bend any which way and oh my Lord he’s doing it again. Let’s keep walking.
Finally, there’s our main attraction. Quite possibly the most amazing, befuddling, intriguing human you’ll ever see. He’s the eighth wonder of the world: A 7-2, 285-pound center on a defensive minded, title-contending team who cannot rebound. Ladies and gentlemen, The Roy Hibbert!
In the six games since a Feb. 27 home win against Milwaukee in which he scored 24 points, grabbed 12 rebounds and blocked 2 shots, Hibbert is averaging 4 rebounds per game and 1.8 blocks per game. That is just absolutely unacceptable numbers out of your center, especially in real life when the Pacers have dropped four straight games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wait, what?! Kobe Bryant is back?! I mean, the Lakers beat the Thunder, and someone dropped 42 for purple and gold… I can think of no other scenario. But as the verse goes, “Blessed are the Meeks!” Dropping 42 on OKC, Jodie Meeks hit a career-high with his typical Meeks game of treys and steals. “He was hittin’ em from downtown like a mad scientist!” I dunno, I was trying to come up with a good segway into Cosmos from last night, but got nothing. “Went all deGrasse Tyson on the Thundah!” “Gettin’ all cosmic on dem mfers!” The Lakers beating OKC definitely broke Vegas’ space time continuum. Plus winning with 36 boards to 59? Crazy town. We’ve liked Meeks a lot over here in Razzball Nation, and somehow he’s still at only 58% owned in Yahoo. I demand an Inquisition on this matter! Even though he’s close to a ThrAGNOF, the 1.3 Stls a game, fairly high-volume 84% FT shooting, and just overall upside on such a crappy team make him an obvious must own. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh man, rough night for matt’s Pacers! Al Jefferson just went absolutely bonkers, adding to his stretch of bonkertude giving Jefferson owners a huge boost for the playoffs. Owning Roy Hibbert like an Entertainment 720 entrepreneur, Big Al shot 16-25 in a full multi-cat dance party of 34/8/3/1/1 and even hit a three! Only his sixth of his career to pepper all the cats. Over his last 3, Jefferson has hit 44 of 65 shots for a very high volume 67.7 FG%. Jefferson hasn’t played this well since his Minnesota days, and you can even argue this has been a career year. Which for a guy with the history Jefferson has put down in the stat sheets is really saying something considering how rocky it all started. Remember the ankle issue that had him sit a lot of games? Then the slow start? Because I sure do, and I steadfastly said “Hold me tighter baby!” Is that a song? I feel like there’s something close to that… Anyway, hopefully you were able to buy low or weather the storm and now you’re reaping some big man stats like it’s the 90s. We miss you David Robinson! Two losses in a row for the Pacers, right after barely beating the Jazz. The Heat are now only 1.5 games behind, and might be taking the Pacers piece of the home-court advantage pie! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, you’re not accidentally on baseball and we’re not reviewing Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle’s little HBO romp. Wait, why does LeBron James get an asterisk then?! I think the mask is helping him. It’s like the Jim Carrey movie. Without it he’s a nothing out there – – dammit, metaphors and parallels just aren’t working today! Unless the improbable scenario in which you pounded em hard at happy hour, passed out before tipoffs last night, stumbled to your computer when you awoke this morning, and Razzball Basketball is your first NBA news choice, then you probably saw what BronBron did last night. I for one fully endorse the aforementioned scenario, see you at happy hour after work! LeBron went bob-bonkers on the bob-Bobcats for 61 points shooting 22-33, 8-10 from deep, and 9-12 from the stripe. Chipped in 7 boards and 5 dimes on top of it. The gap Kevin Durant had over King James is slowly deteriorating as MaskBron is taking over Gotham City. Now, it did help that there was no Dwyane Wade (not that it would’ve made that much of a difference), but KD is still your numero uno. Twin towers! I bet 50% of fantasy H2H title matchups will pit LeBron vs. KD. Fantasy basketball is too top heavy followed by a bunch of bastard children. It’s turning into Shawn Kemp! Zing! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The playoffs are a-comin’, and around this time of year I like to go shopping for streamers.
Now I’m not going to grab any of these guys just yet. I’m just going to identify them for easy plucking when I’m in the heat of the battle in a couple weeks. My all-time playoff streamer is Reggie Evans, who won me more than a few leagues in the early-to-mid 2000s with his beastly and improbable rebounding runs.
Elton Brand could be the Reggie Evans of this year’s playoffs. Only he’ll be an über-streamer in the blocks category with some rebounds thrown in. He’s averaging 2.8 bpg over his last five games.
It’s also possible that Reggie Evans could be the Reggie Evans of the 2014 Fantasy Playoffs, but to a lesser degree. The only Amish black man on the planet is averaging almost 8 rpg since joining the Nets, including 9 boards in each of his last two games.
But my secret weapon streamer for this year could very well be Jeff Adrien, who is averaging 9 rpg since arriving in Milwaukee, including three 10-plus rebound games out of the four he’s played. That’s kind of sick, right?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Probably because he’s, well, Elton Brand, I haven’t paid much attention to him. It’s like telling me, “Hey JB, Robert Parrish is on the wire, what’da think?!” Brand is getting tons of run lately with Gustavo Ayon and Pero Antic still hurt decimating the Hawks 5s (and Paul Millsap out as well), to the tune of 40+ minutes the past two games and 30+ in 4 of 5. And grandpa Elton topped off his big run with a rainbow line last night, 7/13/3/2/2 in 42 minutes. That’s like an Andrew Bogut line! Had a comment last night asking if Brand is a flash in the pan. More like flash in the bedpan! Yeah, I don’t see any sustainability here with none of the aforementioned hurt guys really out that long. But hey, maybe a one-game stream? The Hawks are going at Boston tonight who lack any sort of consistency up front as well and Brand could get ya another multi-cat gem. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I can’t for the life of me remember why we went to Walmart on a Sunday. It was probably for something pretty important but me and JB can get sidetracked pretty easily. Anyway, I don’t want to be there any longer than necessary so when we go I insist we shop by the method we have fondly been calling The Heely Derby. It’s just like the 80’s style Roller Derby, daisy dukes and all, only with Heelys instead of roller skates so we are slightly less conspicuous. I remember it was early in the race, we were gaining speed still, weaving around the blockers when out of nowhere I was caught with a forearm shiver that sent me flying. When I was able to finally free myself from the shirt rack and locate my adversary I was astounded by what I saw. She couldn’t have been more than 8 years old, decked out in Hello Kitty paraphernalia and still locked in her Kung Fu like pose. Even in my shock I could tell something was wrong. Her kitty doll which no doubt was her most prized possession had been knocked to the ground. Still locked in her pose she slowly turned her head toward me and calmly demanded, “Say you’re sorry”.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Deer in the headlights”. Makes sense for this team! And it starts with the pack leader Mr. Larry Drew, who we’ve slammed on ad nauseam here on Razzball hoops. But to rub salt on the wound, or in Milwaukee’s case I guess it would be to leave out a salt lick, both fantasy relevant Bucks bigs are hurt. Larry Sanders – who was first reported to just having blurry vision after being poked in the eye – actually has a fractured orbital bone. Could this have actually happened later that night at a Milwaukee nightclub receiving a right hook from a bouncer? Maybe! I’m just excited to see Sanders in rec specs. All he’ll need to do now is grow a goatee and dye it white and he really will be Colonel Sanders! Then to top it off, John Henson rolled his ankle last night landing on Zaza Pachulia‘s foot. Zaza was like, “Henson, is this your ankle? It struck my foot!” No updates on the severity, but we saw how long they waited to bring him back from that wrist injury so I’m a little sceered. For Sanders, I’d try and wait until he sees the specialist today to tell him how jacked up his eye socket is. It’s been suggested it could be 1-6 weeks, so if indeed closer to the full 6 weeks and you’re barely hangin’ by a thread I think you have to cut him loose. Tough to take a 0 the last weeks before the playoffs. Henson is another wait and see, but I doubt it will be nearly that long. But in both cases, if you’re in H2H and really needing a win this week, I couldn’t fault losing either in a All-Star Weekend shortened matchup. An extra start means even that much more in a week like this one. Sure someone will probably scoop up your Bucks roadkill to cook into their Chinese Food, but hey, at least it’s not in your dinner. Zaza is worth a look himself as a streamer in the interim. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?