How did the Celtics make the playoffs?!  I mean, I know it’s the East, but sheesh Brad Stevens can grind my gears!  I feel like slamming him in my Peter Griffin voice!

And sinking the game-winner for the Quahog Celtics was Jae Crowder, the unlikely hero in only 21 minutes off the bench.  9/4/0/2/0 last night, and if only style points helped your fantasy line!  Hah, look at Tyler Hansbrough put his hands on his head…  Wasn’t bad defense though!  Boston Clam Crowder just going ham…  Can you have ham in clam chowdah?  I somehow doubt it…  This game as a whole was pretty boring for fantasy, with no one scoring over 16 Pts.  And Stevens said he’s going to run the C’s like a bad chowder – thin – tonight in the season finale with the #7 seed locked up.  So adios Celtics muchachos!  Unlike my hummin’ fantasy baseball pitching staffs – it’s time to move away from the Greene.  Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Everyone put on their big boy, triple-double pants last night, that’s for sure!  Imagine the same pants Fat Albert would wear…  With extra room built in for his Prince Albert!

First there was Bootstraps Bootstraps (!!), Evan Turner raising fantasy-owners’ Jolly Rogers for his patented tripdub with nothing else.  13/11/12/0/0 on 6-17 FG with one trey.  But hey, a tripdub is a tripdub – and only 1 TO!  Then, just a few minutes later, Boogie was like,”Ello Poppet!”  Miss Turner was easily upstaged by DeMarcus Cousins, who had one of the best lines on the season.  Tripdub?  Check.  Goromotaro?  Check.  Rainbow line?  Check.  Double rainbow line?  Almost!  24/21/10/3/6, but did only hit 2-6 FT.  And Beard may have upstaged EVEN THAT himself in that game, but more later…  Then Russell Westbrook went into double-digits with his triple-doubles!  31/11/11 for his 10th tripdub, but took him a bajillion shots for 10-32 FG (2-11 3PTM 9-11 FT).  Man, just a great night of NBA basketball, and hopefully your championship teams reaped the rewards from this all-you-can eat stats buffet.  A few more nights like this, and we’ll forget all about the tanking and DNP-rest issues impacting the NBA!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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….And we’re back with our regularly scheduled programming!  If you missed it yesterday, our polls are open for the 2014-15 Razzies, our prestigious ceremony awarding the best of the best… of terribleness!  Larry Drew is like, “Finally!  Someone else has to put up with this ish!”

Speaking of putting up with ish, geez navigating all these DNPs is a near impossible chore for championship teams!  The finals of the H2H playoffs are often won and lost by waiver fodder, and if you’re in need of some ThrAGNOFfing, Anthony Tolliver is getting some run!  Sure most of his stats will make you exclaim with defiance, “please sir, I want s’more!”, but he’s at 3+ treys and 11+ Pts in 3 of the last 4.  Got a crazy dose of 40 minutes for 13/10/1/0/0 last night, hitting 4-9 FG (3-7 3PTM 2-2 FT).  And like your perfect little ThrAGNOF, he almost never turns it over, with only 2 TO in the past 6 games.  9-catters needing some treys should certainly take a look, and the Pistons have three games in four days – tonight, Friday and Saturday.  Threes ain’t got no face!  That phrase is so perfectly used here it has got me a little excited in my Dickens.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Playoffs? Unlike Jim Mora, there’s no question it’s playoff time. With the season almost over, tough decisions and moves need to be made. A guy that helped you during the regular season may not be helpful now. You’re trying to win a championship and there are only so many weeks left in the season to accomplish that. Hopefully your team is healthy, but if not, here’s an update on the latest injuries:

Dwight Howard returned for the Houston Rockets, after missing 26 games with swelling in his right knee. In 16 minutes as a starter, Howard recorded 4 points, 7 rebounds, and 1 block. Howard only played 16 minutes because of a minutes’ restriction, rather than because of foul trouble (he had 4 fouls in the game).

This is definitely good news for the Rockets and fantasy owners’ playoff runs. Each game, Howard should see his minutes rise, but it probably won’t be another week or so until he’s back to playing full minutes. Even then, he may sit a game or two if he feels any discomfort or the Rockets decide to rest him for the playoffs. This is pure speculation on my part, but it wouldn’t surprise me, since Howard has been limited to 33 games this season. The Rockets want to be careful with him.

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Let’s be honest… We were all watching March Madness!  Ugh, I knew going with my heart over my gut for UNC was wrong…  They were so close!

But in the NBA’s only game last night, both of the Pacers’ C.J.s went nuts against the Bucks!  C.J. Miles at the starting 2 went 26/3/1/1/0 on 7-14 FG (4-8 3PTM 8-10 FT) and C.J. Watson as the combo G 6th man went for 23/7/7/2/0 with a crazy 13-15 FT.  Watson’s best game ever!  Was even better than that IBM supercomputer on Jeopardy.  When it missed one I knew, I was like, “Maybe I’m like Deckard and unknowingly a Replicant!”  Rodney Stuckey missed his third straight with a calf strain, and while C.J. Miles has gotten a slight uptick in shots taken, he’s 100% ThrAGNOF and reliant on those treys.  So if Stuckey keeps being stucky on the bench, I’m actually pretty interested in Watson as a stream.  23, 11, 23 are his points the last three games with 5, 2, 7 dimes.  The Pacers are off until Sunday, but if you need a decent grab to round out your semi-final week, I’d certainly pull a Sherlock Holmes and rely on Watson.  Here’s what else went down in last night’s game:

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Well, I can’t say I haven’t been steadfast (double negative police!) about my Dwight Howard hatred…  Look at that rock bottom red right there!

And with Dwight coming back from his knee injury and the precursing news of his return, I have said I wouldn’t add him in virtually any 10 or 12ers.  I don’t trust the minutes, and after giving Slim a 19 minutes over/under for Dwight’s return on the Pod, he only went for 16:27 putting up 4/7/2/0/1 with a TO.  At least he stayed off the FT line!  After we had started the Pod, McHale said he was only giving Dwight 16 minutes, just enough to be sure his TO and FT% wouldn’t hurt fantasy teams.  I may have been liberal with McHale’s quote for that last part…  In 8-cat or non-FT% leagues I guess he probably should be scooped up, but he’ll probably sit back-to-backs and the Rockets have a pair left on the schedule with Sun/Mon and Wed/Thurs games this upcoming week.  Get your sales ready, Big & Tall, we got a bigun needing more street clothes!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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…Well I dunno what he woulda snitched about, but ya know…

The injuries and tanking DNPs continue in one of the most utterly annoying final months to the NBA in recent memory.  There will always be guys getting hurt, but we’ve lost yet another with Hassan Whiteside tearing up his hand and needing 10 stitches last night after jamming it up against the rim.  Right in the webbing!  Between the fingers!  Youchie.  After the game he said he couldn’t feel it.  I’m no doctor, but none of that sounds good for his status tonight!  I mean, sometimes losing all feeling in a hand can be good like in The Stranger…  Certainly sounds like he’ll take at least a game off, unless they can fit him with one of those oven mitts they give guys in the NFL when they play with broken hands.  It might end up being a good thing, because if Kelly Olynyk says something about Whiteside’s mama, we could see an even longer suspension!  Here’s what else went down last night in another “dropping like flies” night of fantasy basketball action:

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Man, there could not have been a more epic high or more epic low last night comparing our elite facial hair aficionados!  Well of course, #1 is Grey, he looks like the worst player at the Saturday afternoon Y pickup game, then goes for 40/15/15 every time!

The tanking Nugs got absolutely bludgeoned by The Beard last night, with James Harden going 50/10/4/1/0 on 12-27 FG (4-12 3PTM 22-25 FT).  Lay off the fouls, Denver!  Maybe they were like hippie Rastafarians just enamored with his majestic beard, “Oh I must rub your luscious hair, mon!”  Most surprising amongst the odd stats (like scoring 50 whilst shooting under 50%, on only 12 makes, etc.) is that Harden had never scored 50 before!  And Corey Brewer had!  Hah!

Then to the ugly.  Skipping the bad.  Anthony Davis tweaked his ankle in drills yesterday morning and wasn’t able to play.  That might cause some playoff losses this week!  All I can say is that I couldn’t get Brow in any leagues after my contrarian #1 overall rank, so he hath not scorned me!  Maybe burning all his owners late with this one will help him be a discount for me in 15-16.  So what is it, Brow or Beard first in next year’s drafts?!  With the ridiculous emergence of Rudy Gobert and Hassan Whiteside, kinda leaning getting one of those bigs later if given the choice and it’s tipping towards Harden.  7 dimes a game!  Plus scoring 50 every night!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Man, off an emotional win beating the Gizz (I hope that catches on), the Pistons go back-to-back and lose in Philly.  Seems like that kind of emotional high/low happens all the time!  Shoulda bet some money on Philly with probably a good betting line against em.

And it was pretty easy to see how Detroit lost with Reggie Jackson (4-17), Jodie Meeks (2-12), and Spencer Dinwiddie (2-11) combining for 7-40 from the field!  That FG% isn’t even legal at 17.5%!  That shooting percentage is statutory rape!  But swooning in all cool and ready to rob the cradle was the 44% from my boy Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, the only shooter who could hit anything going 7-16.  Normally the lead for this game would be R-Jax’s trip-dub (11/11/10/0/0), but with 5 TO and that shooting %, he was pretty poopy.  KCP isn’t going to suddenly be a multi-cat stud, but it’s back-to-back 20 point games with a 20/8/2/1/0 line last night and a trey.  What I really like was his aggressiveness driving to the hole, netting 5-6 FT and he’s 7-9 from the stripe the past two games after a stretch with virtually no freebies.  He’s taken 14+ shots in 6 of 7 games and at least 10 shots in 13 of 15 taking a bigger role in the O with R-Jax able to probe (I can only think of South Park every time I hear a broadcast say that…).  Of course the FG% will be a struggle, but if your team build can handle it/if it’s a punt, the low TO and decent steals make him a solid add in the stretch run.  Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball:

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For one week this season, it feels like there are more stars returning from injury than ones getting hurt. However, that won’t console those who saw their players were added to the injury list. So we’ll start with the bad news first.

All-Star Jimmy Butler suffered an elbow sprain in Sunday’s game and will miss the next 3-6 weeks. Fortunately the injury will not require surgery, but that still puts him out for most, if not all of March.

Joining Derrick Rose and Butler on the sideline, Taj Gibson is out with another ankle injury. Out since suffering the injury in Friday’s game, he’s no longer wearing a walking boot. Gibson has a history of ankle injuries so the Bulls’ may want to be extra cautious with him, but Gibson should be considered day-to-day going forward.

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