Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wade’s out. Rip’s out. Stuckey’s out. Tyrus is out (again). Thornton My Side was out. Lawson is day-to-day. Hawes slammed his back and left after 10 minutes last night. Curry remains out. Beasley’s status was downgraded. Granger went from missing time due to food poisoning to foot poisoning,  marking the first typo-related injury in NBA history.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Trailing hot on the heels of yesterday’s Manu news (Manunus!) that he will be watching basketball from incredibly fantastic courtside seats for the next two months while wearing a $5,000 suit like the rest of us insanely wealthy society folk, comes the follow-up jab-cross-jab-hammer combo that Memphis forward Zach Randolph is also out a couple months with a slight tear in his knee.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve looked back on the best players at each position from the 2010 fantasy basketball season. Now we’re preparing to steal a few glimpses at the 15 best rookies of 2010. Everyone has their preferred way to steal glimpses. Some put on dark sunglasses, others find reflective surfaces like storefront windows or iPad screens so as not to look directly at the subject you want to see, and yet others preemptively stare at the empty space their glimpse-able object will inhabit until they walk right into it and, whoops, it was just an accident that you were glimpsing!

Please, blog, may I have some more?